3w ago

What's your "weird flex"?

Mine‘s getting so accustomed to cold showers that I a) absolutely do not mind cold water for swimming etc. anymore and b) could not enjoy warm or hot showers anymore. They just weren’t nice at all.

328 comments

I go to bed at 9pm everyday, and get 8hrs+ of sleep.
- Alright tone down the bragging, we get it , you're "well balanced" or whatever
- Fucking superpower right there, straight out of a videogame
  
  With that reduced amount of "me time" (he/she time?) I bet OP wouldn't understand videogame references /s
- I need this so much
  
  Me too, but I'm too lazy to go to bed. I rather procrastinate till late night, not wanting the day (and my onyl me time) to end. So i go sleep late and wake up grumpy every single day. Yay!
- Hello from 2:23 am. I resent you so hard right now.
- Once you're >25 this is just a flex

For the 2022 Microsoft Excel World Championship I downloaded the problems the moment they were released to the contestants and public and solved as many as I could in real time. I would have finished 5th.
- You'd better be well paid, whatever you do. Like politics, all the wrong people go into Excel.
  
  Couldn't agree more. I'm not, but I'm doing my duty so there's that.
- Now that there's python in excel, I wonder how that competition will change.
  
  Yeah.. And what about copilot?

I can eyeball the smallest available Tupperware that will fit the leftovers, every time.
- Bro was a hermit crab in his past life
  
  Or a cat.
- I'd join your online course
  
  I offer a course of cook everything in one pot as much as possible, then move the pot to the fridge and eat only that till it's gone, clean pot and start over. 1 pot, 1 crock pot fit on my second shelf, drinks on the bottom, and fruits vegatables in the drawers. If it's on the top shelf, I probably need to clean it out because I never know what's there. Likely cheese.
  You've completed the course.
- Wow, I can do this too! I thought it was just a human thing, like being able to evenly split something in half or hang something on the wall level without a level.
- Yea, my partner says my superpower is my spacial recognition. For me it's totally natural to disassemble things and spin them around in my head, for her it's totally foreign.
  We also don't both have internal monologs, and we are an extrovert/introvert pairing, so we do tend to talk more about our mental differences, maybe that's why.
- Same.

In visual studio, a program for software developers, one of the type of templates you can start up and make a program with is in "blazor webassembly". One of Microsoft's fancy new things.
In there, right after starting it, there is some example code thrown in your face. Code that contains pi... with a rounding error.
So I, being the insistent autistic nerd I am, made a pull request and had it fixed. And I still wonder how so many people looked at that and it bothered absolutely no one enough to go and fix it.
- We truly live in the future. You opened a PR for a Microsoft product.
  
  A petty, nerdy, unnecessary pr.
  
  Oo, me too. I added a feature for submodules in their git implementation for VSCode. I have contributed to tons of the FOSS software I use, feels good to give back.
- Definitely add to resume.

I haven't seen any Star Wars movie.
- the original 3 are good (a new hope/empire/return of the jedi) and the rest are bullshit
  
  yeah, that's what I heard, too.
  funny thing is that I haven't seen any of them, still know everything about it, thanks to 9gag through osmosis.
  for a long time, this is why I decided not to watch any of thr movies, as I never would be able to experience it as first time.
  but now, since I'm a bit older I know that's stupid, it's just some movie so I'll watch those eventually with gf.
  
  I'm not toxic, but I am a fan! So, so much money in the franchise and they've all been mediocre-to-bad since Return of the Jedi. Some slight exaggeration to this opinion, but it's mostly true. And there are some truly incredible stories in the old novels that are now discarded and considered not canon. Such wasted potential...
  
  Capitalism doesn't care that what made Star Wars special in the first place was that it only came out every twenty years of so.
  There's no profit in Absence makes the heart grow fonder
- Huh. That is weird but it shouldn't be.
- Watch the first 6 and then stop
  
  I enjoyed 7 when it first released. The visual style in the first 10 minutes was appealing and I figured we were retreading the same notes for nostalgia before going on a different plot with Finn. Nope, just poorly written rehashed story lines with nonsense plot devices. So much potential thrown away.
  
  The prequels were a hot mess too. I watched episode 1 in theaters when it first came out and didn't bother watching 2 and 3 until probably around 2019 and have zero regrets about that.
  I think they're getting a pass now because 7-9 were even worse, but this is like looking back at George W. Bush fondly just because of how awful Trump is.
- That's fine, but don't make it a personality trait.

I was Time Person of the Year in 2006.
- I love this dog and always forget where he comes from
- You.
  
  2006: "You" is Time Person of the Year
  2015-2024: OH MY GOD SOCIAL MEDIA IS BAD FOR DEMOCRACY AND WE NEED TO BAN IT FOR CHILDREN AND MISINFORMATION AND PORNOGRAPHY AND HATE SPEECH AND FASCISM AND ("(&)§$()"§&(&$(")§&$
  I was a preteen in 2006 and still hold the optimist views about technology and its democratization that so many people held in 2006, but it seems I'm nearly the only one who even remembers them.

I ran over 1000 miles in 2023! I've taken an 8.5" circumference toy anally!
- Are the two related?
  
  Only in that they happened before my life fell apart several months ago and they're about the only interesting things about me I could come up with
- Congrats on your personal achievements, as I reckon they both required quite some determination, training and stretching!
  Were those things related… thematically or chronologically?
  
  Not really, I'd started running like 2 years before starting toying and running with stuff it would end up chafing you terribly. Life kind of came to a crashing halt and I haven't run since March and still can't really fit half the things I used to
- Were those by choice or necessity?
  
  Hahaha definitely by choice, you're not fitting something that size in someone unless they've worked up to it
- I hope these two achievements aren't related.
  
  Only in that they happened before life got really terrible
  
  Possible interpretations:
  They've run a distance of 1,000 miles while wearing a butt plug.
  The 1000 miles is the distance the device has moved back and forth within their rectum.

I can cook minute rice in 56 seconds. I try to only use my powers for good.

After a lifetime of allergies, I’m really good at Dracula-sneezing in the least bad direction
- Dracula-sneezing?
  
  Sneezing in to your arm (looks like you're covering your face with a cape like a vampire would).
  
  Uh-uh-uh-von to ACHOO!
- Thanks to my allergies I can sneeze with my eyes open, (I don't close them all the way) I remember people saying that was not possible?
  
  I do this as a power move to intimidate my enemies when the going gets tough.

I have a stomache of steel. Nothing will pass my digestive tract alive or intact. I never had any kind of stomache trouble and I can not puke. I ate every dish in south-east-asia that landet in front of me, even from some dirty streetfood shack in the middle of the burmese jungle. Most of the stuff would have killed the average middle european slob. Not me.
It even goes so far that I cannot use edibles. Which is funny, because all the growmies make fun of me now.
- I can not puke
  No gag reflex you say? 😇
- I have a pretty ironclad stomach, but not as strong as yours. I've been with my wife for 13 years and she's witnessed the horror that is me puking twice. And the first time came 4 years ago. My friends say it sounds like I'm "calling the dinosaurs" and it is very traumatic for me.
  Edit: I forgot my point. I'm jealous.
  
  The dog-barf...
- This is genuinely so cool.
- Street food is often the safest anyhow, its the hotels and water you have to worry about
  
  Cash money, that's where the real danger lurks. Even if you can drink bottled water and eat pre-packaged food, you have to handle the money. And that stuff is really, really nasty in some parts of the world.

I have a hyper sensitive sense of smell. Sometimes useful, most often a nuisance.
At work the roof had small leak few years ago, I could smell the wet concrete several days before the water reached the ceiling of the upper floor office and became visible. I told my boss about the leak as soon as I had first smelled it and located the correct room. "There is no leak here, you're just imagining things" was the response after I showed the room to my boss. "There is and we shall see in a few days." After 4 or 5 days the ceiling started dripping water and I received an apology.
I've been able to mentally bypass most of the awful smells of the world and people around me as long as I can remember, so it isn't so bad. But after a few drinks the mental filter turns off and I can smell everything, including my own metabolized alcohol infused sweat. That is not fun at all.
- On the internet, no one knows you're a dog
- Are you like the person that posted they can smell ants? Dude was able to find a single ant by sense of smell.
  
  I do not know. I have never actively tried to smell ants nor had them inside any apartments I've lived in. I shall test this when summer returns one day. But I do remember that the ant guy wrote about having some genetic quirk that ables him to register some compound that's out normal human range of smell.
  
  The ant-smelling trait is a genetic thing. I have a co-worker that can smell ants, but otherwise their sense of smell is unremarkable
- Dude has the super sniffer
- I was a super smeller but lost the sense during Covid. It still hasn't fully returned. I have good days where I'll surprise myself by picking up something subtle and off days where popcorn smells like vomit or skunks smell like brake dust. I was considering a sommelier course prior to this.
  
  Yeah, Covid was a freaky experience. I got off easy, no fever or other symptoms, I just realized one day that I was unable to smell freshly cut grass. Then I realized that I did not smell anything at all.
  My sense of smell started coming slowly back after a few days and I can't tell if it's diminished or not. But after Covid every brand of whiskey smells and tastes like vomit to me, so there was a price to pay. Also the smell of someone eating rice cakes became utterly disgusting, as well as yogurt. Before Covid I barely registered these two.
- I would hate this superpower. Having grown up with brothers, I learned to breathe defensively without smelling, but it's also so nice to be able to use scented products and perfume without it hurting.
  
  Perfumes or scented products are not a problem for me at all, unless of course someone uses way too much. Like I said, I kind of block all the unpleasant stuff unconsciously and focus on the good ones.
  It's kind of like listening to radio, all the channels are broadcasting all the time, simultaneously, but you still tune in to listen only one at a time.
  And when I'm intoxicated, theyre all blaring at the same time and cannot be silenced :(
- Elevators full of perfume must be hell
- https://youtu.be/ykiI4eaCZdk?t=110
- I am fascinated by you. Please tell me you've written a book or long thread?
  Also please don't get Covid
  
  I don't usually bring this "gift" of mine up in real life, it tends to create pretty awkward and unpleasant situations.
  "Oh, if you have such sharp sense of smell, then tell me what deodorant/lotion/perfume I'm using?" How the hell could I know the names of every hygienic/cosmetic product, especially when the reek of detergent, fabric softener and sweat is mixed with the scent I'm supposed to recognize?
  Or people just laugh at me and call me a liar.
  But my friends are aware of my talent, when someone is considering to buy an apartment they often ask me to accompany them for a presentation. I can tell almost instantly if there's water damage or mold. When I was buying my own apartment I found one spot under the stairs that had a very faint but odd smell, like wet cement mixed with the smell of a wet dog. There were no water pipes or sewers even near that wall, nor were there any signs of leaks from above. I called the seller to ask about this and he started laughing. The spot was their old dog's favourite place to curl up for a sleep after a walk in the rain. And it was years since the dog had passed away, they had even painted the wall once and renewed the floor laminate after that. So no worries, I bought the place.

I work full home office
- WFH gang rise up
- 2 jobs one office here. WFH squared.
  
  Jelly.
- Since 2020 or before it was cool?
  
  I started working two-days-a-week from home in late 2019, so it was very easy for me to transition to full-time at home in 2020.
  Does that make me one of the "before it was cool" kids? Now I'm back to one-day-per-week in the office.

Some code I wrote is buried in an archive storage underground in the Arctic
If you had some code in an active GitHub repo before February 2020 you may too, https://archiveprogram.github.com/arctic-vault/
- That's heckin' cool, but why is it archived?
  
  I think the idea is that it's like the Global Seed Vault but for knowledge (and it's physically close, too). Maintain copies of important things in such a way that they are designed to survive ~any catastrophe.

After over half a century of action, a lot of it in "extreme sports", and countless injuries, I have yet to break a bone.
- Congrats! Must be all the malk.
  
  Now with vitamin R!
  
  We don't have any malk, but I can get you some MILK

I can drive as long as possible without touching my phone.
- Isn't this like.. idk... normal intelligent human behavior?
  
  haha intelligent and normal are usually two different categories of drivers

I made a full fledged MMORPG, playable up to level 12 with items, quests, bosses..., in full 3D and a victorian setting.
In hindsight I think it was therapy. There was a video about it on daily motion (mindoki).
- https://dai.ly/xftocj
  
  Heey there it is!
  Thank you :-)
- Nice! I made an almost full recreation of Settlers of Catan in 3D complete with multiplayer. But it now sits somewhere on my hard drive due to copyright and platform concerns (I set it aside during the Unity scare). It almost landed me a shitty, low-paying job so there's that.
  
  Cool!
  We should make a club of mental developers 😋

I've been running every single day for the past 4.5 years or so. Not counting the days anymore. Related to that, my smart scale puts my physical age at 17 years below my real age. Before I started running, the same scale had my physical age 21 years above my real age.
- But how old are your knees and ankles?
  
  Running is beneficial for knees and ankles over medium to long timeframes. There's a 100 year old guy that runs 10k every day and his knees and ankles are doing fine.
  
  Hahaha, I used to run; I had the same question! I can't run anymore because knee pain :(
  
  Not too bad. But to be honest, I started mixing trail running into my schedule. It's fun, better for your joints (even though I've never had problems), and as a runner gets older, longer distances become more appealing. I'm beginning to consider some easier ultras, and they are usually on trails.
- This reads like a math problem.
  "Assuming a linear decrease of physical age through running, in which year did the physical age match the real age?"
  
  That's actually a great insight! I remember opening a botyle of wine to celebrate that.
  Just for fun, years ago i did a linear chart for my marathon times, and estimated that about two years ago I should have broken the sound barrier.
- Reminds me I still need to make a new set of running t-shirts
  I plan on outliving you
  Runners are objectively crazy
  I run to escape death
  I'm on a sabbatical from running over the holidays but I would routinely run 10k and normally do about 30k a week.
  For anyone reading this, heart health aside it does wonders for your mental wellbeing.
  
  Where are you having them made? I've been looking for a print shop that would do the print on the back, where it's more likely that someone would read them when I'm running.

Everything about me is a weird flex
I invented two novel fire eating tricks, one of which involves my split tongue
I can scratch the back of my skull through my nose with an icepick. I can also put a running power drill in my nose or feed a silicone tube through and out the mouth
I often shave with a torch or lighter
- That… raises some questions 😅
  Can I assume that you’re some kind of performer or is this stuff you’re just doing as a hobby or when bored?
  Did you mean „inside of your skull“ or actually the back of your skull? Cause if it’s the latter, I thought there would be some… err.. critical components in the way of the icepick?
  Was there any reason you tried these things or dis you just go „hmm, how about…?“
  Also - this is the most pressing one - is there a video of you with your powerdrill?
  
  Yeah, I'm a sideshow performer (fka a freakshow). This is my fav video of the drill because of the audience reaction
- I didn't realize there were fire eating tricks (other than a touch transfer or dragon's breath), but I only dabbled in it ~20 years ago-- my main focus was with fire staff. What's the trick that doesn't involve your tongue?
  
  Black Hole Sun
  Vapor tricks have come a very long way over the last 20 years. Look up Joseph Kerr if you wanna see insane shit. I've met him before, he's super friendly.
  Fire staff was my first prop :P

b) could not enjoy warm or hot showers anymore.
Grew up without hot running water and I can relate. It's only a problem in some hotels really, where the showers don't get cold enough.
My weird flex would be being so accustomed to command line that I don't know how to use well, and get frustrated by, GUI applications.
- Setting environment variables in windows annoys me irrationally.
  
  That is definitely a skill issue
- Someone was probably around for Unix.

Communicated from California to E. Europe via SSB during solar maximum aka worst possible RF condition's with only 5 watts. Plus I communicate about 200 miles with a half dead 9v battery and and 100miliwatts. ✅QRP / QRPp

I used to drive a Ford Flex. I was frequently assured of its weirdness.
- Start a limo service in Vegas with a fleet for the novelty.

I have an adorable little polycule!
I'm a married adult in my 30s, my wife and I are polyamorous and we both have partners that are also partnered to each other.
I get to have pretty fantastic sex quite a lot lol I'm super happy but I can't really discuss much in my daily life. But it's pretty great
- were you and your wife always poly or did one of you just go for it and the other followed along?
  
  Lmao thank you
  My wife was poly when we first met, and I was new to it. We were monogamous for several years while we figured out how to be married successfully.
  A few years later, my wife made a friend online that was married and poly, and her life was just really similar to what we were looking for. Lots of friends, strong bonds, mutual support, and spicy sex lol.
  She and my wife dated for a while long-distance, and we actually moved somewhere both closer to her and with a larger poly community. It didn't work out for them, but wife & i both liked how it felt to be poly together.
  I met my other partner thru my wife's ex, lol. My girlfriend has a FWB type thing with wifeys ex, and we hit it off really well right away. Wife met her other partner and we are all, ahem, compatable!
  When that tv show about the Mormon guy with lots of wives came on, they made a point to specify that they do NOT all have sex together, and I was always like.... why tf not!? (I know, I know, mormons, but c'mon)
- What are anniversaries and Christmases like? I struggle to find meaningful gifts and having to buy so many extra would wreck me.
  
  You know, none of us are very good at that stuff tbh. Gifts are fun but not really expected for anniversary occasions between us.
  We like making & thrifting stuff for each other for holidays, cooking fancy, stuff like that.

When baking, I take the right amount of butter with 1g of accuracy.
- The more butter you add the righter it becomes.
- My hand has an accuracy of about 0.1-0.2g accuracy. Well, with weed. I haven't measured how accurate it is with spices or salt or sugar because I never measure those.
- Baking or "baking"?
  
  Actual baking with an oven.
- Does it work only with butter?
  I‘ve got this in a less accurate but more versatile way: I can do this +-50gr of almost anything
  
  With flour and sugar only because I know how much fits on a spoon. With butter it's just magic.

I can drive 18 hours at a time only stopping for fuel and something to eat while driving.
- That is impressive! I can't go 18 hours without a bathroom break.
  
  Normal, hydrated person can't go 18 hours without toilet break.
  
  Okay, well I'll admit. I do pee at gas stations.
- My personal record is 22 hours.
  
  Interesting, my record is the same.

I can turn off my inner monologue at will. Complete silence but it limits the complexity of my thoughts.
- Unrelated but I felt really proud the first time I had an inner monologue in English (not my first language).
  Now I realize that my inner monologue language switch according to the context, if I'm thinking about family it will be in French, thinking about work and it switch to English.
- Do you meditate? This is pretty much my meditative state.
  
  I don't, but I've suspected that's what I'm supposed to do if I ever do it. Lol
- So this means you hear your thoughts as if they were on speaker, right? I don't, which is a form of aphantasia, which i also have.
  I this is why i mumble to myself all the time, my brain has no speakers
- That’s really awesome, that is one of the main goals of most meditation techniques! Sometimes I‘d really like to do that as well.
  Have you actively worked on this or were you just able to do this?
  Is it difficult to „turn your thoughts back on“?
- Some people can't turn off their inner monologue?
  To me it's as easy as it is to stop talking. I feel like I'm misunderstanding you.
  
  Some people can’t turn off their inner monologue?
  Apparently not. I struggled with that as a kid and I remember having some sleepless nights when my head would be yapping nonstop. Then one day I learned to stop it.
  But I mostly remember this in threads where people on either side of the inner monologue vs no inner monologue discussions discover the opposite exists. And so I'm like, what, you guys can't just turn it on or off? I've concluded that we must be in the third group looking on, who can do either at will.
  
  Yeah, for some (like me) it’s almost impossible.
  But then, there are also people that do not have any inner monologue at all…
  
  If I try to stop thinking I just ended up thinking "stopthinkingstopthinking shutupshutupshutup"
  
  Yeah I can't. I think in words, in English, very occasionally Spanish, but always language, words words words.

Quite the opposite. I am so used to burn away my migraines, i can last in 60 degrees hot water for a (short) while.
- That's nothing! I can last in 100C water, for a (very short) while

I once ate 6 pizzas in one sitting.
- Were they like those tiny pizzas from that Nathan For You episode?
- Legend

I haven't shit my pants for like 30 years.

My ability to correctly and perfectly parallel park nearly 95% of the time is one of the skills I'm oddly the most proud of.
- That’s not even a weird flex but just a full on hard flex 💪
  
  I was taught by someone who really understood that it really is just geometry and as long as your first position is correct and you turn to the right angles, it's simple. The only time I really screw up is if there's someone behind me or in front of me keeping me from setting up properly.
- Same 👊
  One time I was trying to find a parking spot in Ballard, a neighborhood in Seattle. It was Friday and only one spot was available. Just enough to barely fit and traffic was in full force. I thought it was close but I was confident. When we got out, a group at the bar gave me a round of applause letting me know that multiple people had tried and failed to park there and it had become a fun joke for everyone until I swooped in like a pro and didn't even make it look difficult.
  Haha parallel parking is just a natural skill for some of us!

I've never heard a single Tool song, and I'm a prog rock/metal fan.
- That is a mistake you know?
- You are missing out. I'm not really a Tool fan, they are fantastic live. Seen them 4 times, each show was amazingly different. They are very talented musicians.
  But you are absolutely missing out by not giving Lateralus at least a once over. It's a musical masterpiece. IMO it's their magnum opus and one of the great musical creations of our generation.
- Also a prog rock/metal fan, and I don’t enjoy most of Tool’s work. There’s a few good songs but I like Maynard’s work as Puscifer soooo much more. Drunk with Power, Dozo, and Momma Sed are fantastic.
- This answer best fits the brief I think. That is very strange.

Look at my profile and check my comment count. 😎
- Think that's high? Check out @FlyingSquid@lemmy.world.
  
  No one can compete with my patheticness.
  
  Now : FIGHT!
- I swore you would have used that your name is an anagram of "i anal kok".
- I do be seeing you in the comments

I could walk both ways up a hill both ways in the snow after dialysis treatment.
Past tense because I got a kidney transplant.
Which caused a very rare Cancer (1st condition to get it, you must've never gotten Epstein Barr virus, ever, which 90-95% of the world has. Second is getting a transplanted organ that carries the virus lol).
Which led me to weird flex #2: I have unusually high cold resistance and can also mentally raise my body temperature. This was helpful when having to walk to the patient hotel in a strong blizzard with nothing but hospital clothes.
Unfortunately that means I do terribly in the heat, and there's not much AC in Finland for the summer...
The funny thing is I grew up in El Salvador, and then Texas.
- I can't consciously change my body temperature, but I do find that my thoughts and attitude about the heat or cold do affect it quite a bit.
- Does getting cold hands and feet from watching terrifying movies count?

Sometimes, my sneezes smell like buttercups.
Sometimes I'll sneeze, and people will ask who is wearing perfume, or comment that someone's clothes smell like they were fresh out of the wash. What's actually happening is they're breathing my spores, and they love it.
- Holy shit bro that could be a sign of diabetes. See a doctor
  
  Already have, it's definitely not diabetes. Apparently it's a genetic thing, but it's both pretty rare and just isn't caught by people that "have the gift".
- wtf 😅 eww?
  You sound like some kind of Anime villain
  What's actually happening is they're breathing my spores, and they love it
  What is your final goal when you have successfully bred enough spore-bearing drones out of us, huh?
- Oh. Lol. Weird...
  
  Haha, it's so weird that the only people that have caught on that are my sneezes are my wife and my parents. My wife used to think it was cute, until she realised that her smelling it basically means she's breathing in my sneezes, which is pretty grim.
  It's maybe 1 in 5 sneezes, but I can almost always tell when it's going to be a "smelly" one.

My landlord pays me to live in my apartment rather than the other way around.
- Huh… care to elaborate how this deal came into existence?
  
  I'm the building superintendent.
- Is it ur mum?

I'm the leading goal scorer on my 40+ adult hockey league.
- Congratulations on your two goals!
  
  Per game, bender.

I can perform almost any activity in adidas slides, and have for the last 20 years of my life and have yet to twist my ankle. Hiking? No problem. Running? Totally cool!

That I got into the main reading room in the library of Congress.. most only go through the tourist area.
- Someone went to the basement for a library card
  
  Yes i did. Thanks to my mom for noticing the information to tell me about the reader card. Otherwise I would not have had that experience. I did the normal tourist area but then got that experience

I've actively moderated the Zootopia subreddit almost since its inception. We did a lot of cool stuff but, uh, moderating a subreddit is not the kind of thing you brag about. Anyway, i quit this year.
Also i have every single r/place-related medal because i helped organize artworks. That's not any better is it?
- How much furry porn did you have to see in all these years?
  
  Exactly the first question popping into my mind
  
  Genuinely once or twice in 8 years. People knew the rules.
  But the rules around NSFW content were a point of contention, i placed the bar a lot lower than most people in the community would have it. To the point that there was huge controversy a couple times, and i realized that they saw me more as a cop than a janitor. People really wanted to see rabbit hole
- Not here, anyway
- Moderation is still a lot of thankless work. I think it's pretty cool as long as you enjoyed doing it and weren't shackled to it. :)

As compulsion, I watch YT tutorials at breakneck speed: 2.5x-3x.
YouTube tutorials can be pretty low information density. Sentences have important pointers every 5 seconds or more ("The thing is, like, if you're trying to do this, or this, do X first" -- predictable/less functional words), and the first third of a YouTube video is often useless. Of course, denser videos get slowed to normal and have clips replayed.
Internally, this stems from nervousness of wasting time (oops), and it hurts my head if I do it too long ( but looks cool beforehand B) )
- Wait, since when does the speed increase go up to 3x?
  
  enhancer for youtube extension in firefox for me.
  
  You can get browser extensions to have more control over video speed
  
  No extension needed. Use a bookmarklet or the browser console; it's a oneliner anyway.
  js
  
  /* Bookmarklets should be one line. */ javascript: document .querySelector('video') .playbackRate = prompt("Speed") || 3
  No need for webdev skills either. COVID kids used bookmarklets all the time to screw with their Chromebooks.
- How much information do you actually retain?
  
  Not OP, but most of it.
  Tutorials I might need to go a bit slower, remembering broad strokes isn't enough, and detailed steps in order is probably too much, but that would be true at 1x speed as well.
  For videos generally I watch almost everything at 2x or higher. Headphones help, it would be much harder if there were any competing audio stimulus. If I'm forced to go at 1x I retain almost nothing.
- I also usually watch videos at around 1.3 to 1.6 times speed depending on the type of video

I have a very high pressure stream when I urinate. Downside is I really have to worry about splash back at a urinal, upside is I can do little side quests while I'm peeing, spot cleaning the toilet bowl.
- Internally when I hear guys like you blasting the bowl I'm thinking "This guy has the pee stream of the gods!"
- One of my old coworkers is like this and it literally sounded like I was peeing next to a horse when at the urinal next to him.

I almost never have to get up to pee during the night, because as long as I have some stored (in the balls, as we all know) I get the urge to go as soon as I start brushing my teeth.

In a conflict with most of my friends, I can't watch short form content and TikToks give me something akin to claustrophoby with an intense urgent want to stop watching it, I guess it's called sensory overload. On the opposite side, I enjoy old boring movies they can't stand watching on 1x. That makes me an old man wise of the ways of the past in many conversations, even if I'm younger than the person I talk to.
I can sleep through the night in the pose of the dead (on the back, hands and legs spread wide) without moving at all.
My linguistic capabilities let me create a text passing as an original one even when I copypaste and rewrite, that is suddenly a big problem for everyone else in the academia.
- You might really enjoy “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.”
  
  Oh yeah, that final scene. Weird how they pulled that off. I feel like the tension between characters + soundtrack + masterful cuts made it way less boring than just 'three dudes are looking at each other for ten minutes' (:
- I enjoy old boring movies they can't stand watching on 1x
  Wanna recommend some that left a mark? :)

I can go a very long time without pee’ing, even if I need to.
Years of undiagnosed, now diagnosed, ADHD has trained me to be able to do this.
I can kick a gym ball, the large air inflated things, at a wall and land standing on top of it.
- What's your longest? I made it from Colorado to Illinois without pissing once. Could taste it permeating from my pores tho
  
  I have no idea how long that is for you?
  Hard to say really but certainly greater than 12 hours, maybe even 18, after having the urge to pee. I tend to forget about it and rarely wake up during the night to go.
  
  That, very likely, is not good for your health
- Huh. I was diagnosed and in my 30s, and I pissed myself shortly after starting my meds. There was almost no warning, just zero to a hundred within the course of a minute. Hasn't happened since, just a heads up.

I've starred in 1 local govt commercial, have my mustached face in an airport infomercial (around the 40-50s mark) and have some 3-5 seconds of screentime as an extra in 2 different brazilian movies.
- 2 brazilian movies? That's a lot!
  I'll see myself out.

I stowed 600 packages an hour at amazon
- One every six seconds? Back when I worked for a postal company I'd be fired for working that slow
  
  Yeah lol, that's usually the highest rate here. A good 75% of the packages are cat litter, water, bulk boxes of Pampers™, and baby wipes. During the holiday season we get more Barbie Dreamhouses™ and things for babies lol.

I can lick my elbow.
- I can lick your elbow.
- Are you a giraffe? FOUND THE GIRAFFE, GUYS!
- Me too! But only on one arm.
  Thanks, mild localised hypermobility.
- No way

I'm double jointed.

That I can go three days without pooping if I'm out backpacking.
- Cool Story Bro! Have you thought about maybe writing up a post about this here on Lemmy?
  
  That's about it. I call it "Camp Constipation Mode".
- ...mizu?
- Three days ia nothing. Being a shy kid on two weeks summer camp there was a challenge to poop just once in the middle... I almost made it. My friend succeeded though.
  
  Being a shy kid on two weeks summer camp there was a challenge to poop just once in the middle... I almost made it.
  "don't you fucking dare poop! They'll make fun of how dumb you poop and they'll mock you for it forever!"
  kid thoughts are dumb, but damn kids at camp are Brutal. timid tinkler here.

I was on a show called Canada's Worst Driver. Hence my username
- haha, I just recently watched Kurtis‘ Video about that show! So, did you… win?
  
  I was the buddy hanging on for dear life. The driver was a good friend, but a horrific driver. He almost got the title. Both times, cause they invited him back for the Worst Ever season
- If that's the case, shouldn't your username be @worstdriver@lemmy.ca...or are you thinking about going global?
  
  Well tbh, I'm still working out how a lot of this federated thing works and this was my gateway to Lemmy after the Redditpocalypse

I have succeeded in life, despite myself.

A. I got to drive a train when I was 9 (a family friend charted a Chicago Elevated train for his graduation party and as the youngest person on the train one of the operators said "hey you wanna drive the train" and so I got to drive the train for a bit
B. I went back to college a few years ago and managed to complete a 2 year degree with a 3.71 GPA while attending college full time, working 20+ hours per week at times as the sole breadwinner while my wife was pregnant with our second child and I had to commute about an hour each way to school and work. I literally started my second semester the day after we returned home from the hospital after his birth. Unlike driving a train I don't intend to recreate that experience ever again...
- My sister had to take a final exam at college right after having a baby, my mom held the baby outside for her while she did.
  I went to university after having my first set of kids while they were little but wasn't working much. Tried to go to grad school while working full time and parenting and it wrecked my life so completely I didn't think there was any amount of future income that would have made it worth doing. Even now, I can't imagine it.
  
  Yeah it was a pretty rough period of time and I absolutely felt the "work hard, play hard" pendulum swing where as hard as you work you have to relax equally hard, but I tripled my pre-college income in just 2 years (which isn't hard when I was only making $12/hr) so in the long run it worked out but I wouldn't recommend such a grind to others if they can help it

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