Cooking advice
Cooking advice
56 comments
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Get a pot of water ready for any flare ups!
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Thanks, Obama…
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Don't forget that it always tastes better when the turkey is fried while frozen solid
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So moist.
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be sure to fill that baby alllll the way up before dropping the bird in from about counter-height.
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Also make sure the bird is frozen totally solid before slamming it in
Edit: Goddamnit I should have read the other comments first lol. Sorry for the 1000th repeat!
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We usually invite the whole family to watch the bird plopping ceremony.
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"All right kids! Gather 'round! We're gonna plop the turkey!!"
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From helicopter height.
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Oh, the humanity!
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Make sure the turkey is fully frozen before you put it in.
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Also, since there will be a bit of oil splattering, make sure to quickly secure your lid with clamps. Hope you have a blast!
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Any chance we can stop trying to murder the OP?
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And throw it in quickly! Wouldn't want it to cook unevenly.
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Seasoning?
Monoammonium phosphate in a Class B shaker.
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It’s a fire extinguisher, for those who might need to look it up (like I did)
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Depending upon ventilation, if they succeed in drying it enough and not having it overflow getting it in, they might not have to worry about getting it out.
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Dynamite!
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I've heard they're best when cooked from frozen
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Such a setup would make me leave the premises faster than a bunch of MAGA-brain uncles could do.
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Carbon monoxide, my favorite seasoning
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Propane is mostly gonna be releasing H2O vapor and CO2. But also some other shitty contaminants that the gas industry doesn’t like to talk about.
Now a charcoal barbecue on the other hand is my preferred way to cook a turkey, and would also kill the family if I was dumb enough to do it indoors.
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I like how you're taking precautions by making sure your floor doesn't get damaged from the oil splatter. Great job!
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If your oil is a bit too hot toss in some ice cubes
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Firehose
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Firehose. For grease fires lol. Yes.
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Absolute fun multipliers!
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And a few buckets of ice
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I'm just so glad all the comments have such useful advice for folks. I second the tips suggesting throwing it in frozen and adding more water when things get spicy.
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Ice
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Just a pinch of a fire truck on standby should do the trick.
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Gasoline
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Toss in a few plugged in power strips and extension cords to add a nice spicy flavor to everything.
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Monoammonium phosphate
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Uranium 235 🤤
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Keep doing what you’re doing.
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I have several drunken and glib responses ranging from actual seasoning advice to something about the season of the witch. How-the-fuck-ever.....
Run. Just fucking run. Neighbors? Kids? Whatever. Run.
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Aloe.
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A coupe of hand grenades for some extra kick!
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I suggest a nice marinade
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sumac gives a nice flavor to fried human skin
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Always the hot sauce!
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salt.
56 comments