1mo ago

Young people are struggling to deal with their MAGA parents — again

www.teenvogue.com Young People Are Struggling to Deal With Their MAGA Parents — Again

"It’s very hard to view the world fundamentally differently from the person that raised you.”

Summary

With Donald Trump’s 2024 election win, young Gen Z voters like Kate, Holly, and Rachel are grappling with deepening divides with their Trump-supporting parents.

For many, these conflicts go beyond policy disagreements, touching on core values and morality. Parents once focused on fiscal conservatism have, in some cases, embraced conspiracy theories, creating painful rifts.

Studies suggest political divisions are increasingly seen as moral judgments, fostering a “mega-identity” where political views signify personal decency.

For these young adults, maintaining family connections amidst such ideological fractures has become challenging.

172 comments

Don’t deal with them. Walk away. You’re allowed to be mad at your parents for electing a felon dictator. You’re allowed to hate them and not talk to them again. That’s their loss, and you don’t need such toxic people in your life.
- Here is where I am at and why. I believe that the next administration is a significant risk for the country, the envionment, and will likely have global geopolitical implications on what happens to Ukraine, Taiwan, and Gaza. The immigration policy and rehetoric is unbelievably hateful, not based on reality, and will likely be an unmitigated disaster. The promises to eliminate the ACA and governmental regulatory bodies/oversight in the EPA, FDA, and NOAA make all our our lives more risky and worse. Specifically though, they my MY KIDS LIVES MORE RISKY. If you are going to actively vote against MY KIDS, YOUR GRANDKIDS lives/futures in such a fundamental way, you don't get to be a part of my life.
  
  I'm in hard agreement with you, EuroTrip Yoda (had to).
  My in-laws definitely voted Harris, my dad passed 4 years ago (Vietnam vet - not a trump fan), and my mom went down an idiotic rabbit hole. I haven't talked to my mom in weeks, and I'm sure she knows why.
  She also doesn't know that we are planning to leave the country. I can't stay in a place that will reduce my daughter to a second class citizen without bodily autonomy. Yet that's what the nitwit I called "Mom" voted for.
- Yup. I haven't spoken to my father since the election, but I know he voted Trump.
  The next time he calls, the conversation will go like this:
  Me: Before we go act further, I need to know who you voted for.
  Him: will probably say Trump
  Me: Alright, then this is the last time we will ever speak, and here is why...
  I'll start with the fact that the party that he voted for wants to make my wife not a person, then keep going for as long as I'm able.
- Me, disabled and home-bound (with the folks): that's great and all buttttttttt
- So ur encouraging people to hate and never speak to the people who literally raised them over an idea? For what having an opinion you dont like? I cant possibly see why politics is so polarised nowdays.
  
  You didn't get to choose your parents. And there's no reason to force anyone to continue associating with toxic shitheads with no capacity for critical thought.
  
  Why would I want to continue associating with someone that voted to endanger people I care about?
  
  I didn't choose to be born. I didn't choose to be adopted into a dysfunctional family. I didn't choose to be raised as a little bigot. I did choose to walk away when I grew up and started seeing how people like me and my family were hurting others. This goes far beyond mere opinion, and perhaps you ought to spend some time reasoning about why these things aren't that important to you.
  Edit to add a word.
  
  I think people's values and actions are perfectly fine things to judge them on.
  We're not talking about favorite colors here. We're talking about people actively enabling terrorists to attack minorities without fear of consequence and voting fascists who have openly expressed their intentions to destroy our democracy into power.
  If you voted for Trump, then your "idea" is that there shouldn't be any work or medical safety standards, no food safety laws, no environmental protection to keep companies from dumping waste wherever they want, no national parks, and no schools. And that's just the government departments that are planned to be axed. We can talk about Operation Wetback 3 next, if you want.
  
  Believing that women and other marginalized people aren't people isn't a difference of opinion. Dismantling all regulatory protections isn't an opinion. Supporting a person who is blatantly trying to dismantle our democracy isn't an opinion.
  It's a cult ideology, and no one has to tolerate intolerance.
  No one has any onus to maintain contact with a person who only believes in hate, regardless of their relation to you.
  These people made the choice to support a monster, and they deserve consequences for their actions.
  
  And you're encouraging people to expose themselves to toxicity that is very unhealthy for them.
  
  My mom and dad literally raised me to recognize that the people they have become are shit that would hurt their own children and grandchildren in the name of their hate. So maybe they should try to get back to being decent human beings before they whine about their kids not recognizing them as such.
  
  I can't possibly see why politics is so polarised
  Spoken like a true well-off middle-aged+ white cishet. 'I don't have any problems, so I don't see what the big deal is!'
  
  This account is just a bad take factory. Great day for a blockin'
  
  Can you explain how cutting abusive people out of your life is an act of hate?
  
  Have you been staying under a rock for the past 8 years? When one party starts adopting fascist policies and removing rights from real people/citizens of this country it stops becoming just a difference of opinion. Politics is so polarized nowadays because one group is fighting to help save people, and the other is fighting to just help ONE group of people.

I'm not young anymore but I would say that I'll never forgive my parents for their blind support of this shit.
The same people who have the nerve to tell you (fakely) they're proud of you and think you're really smart. But somehow I'm wrong about every single thing I've told them about trump for 9 years now
- Same. It's like you give them a situation, a fact, and how it applies. You ask for understanding and it's " maaaa maaaa MAGA! SHE TURNED BLACK SHE SLEPT HER WAY TO THE TOP"
  But yeah, MY sources are wrong, and biased.
  
  Right. I think my dad especially has the attitude that it's a) not really important enough to talk about and b) he gave up on the concept of him being wrong decades ago. He just couldn't be, so yes my sources are obviously all wrong. Any implication that he is wrong is unacceptable to his fragile ego. So fucking weak.
- Wait, your shitty, morally decrepit parents told you they were proud of you?
  I only got the shitty, morally decrepit part and didn’t get the supportive part. Mine just wanted me to be their clone.
  
  I mean same here. Just because every couple years they pretend to be proud for a moment doesn't mean I ever believed them.
- In our family, we just don't talk about politics or any subject that could remotely be interpreted as political (yes, the subjects we actually talk about are very limited). The alternative is that we can't spend time together and they wouldn't see their grandkids. Not ideal, but it works for the time being.
  
  Don’t expose your kids to toxic hate, it is your duty to protect them.

I’m late 50’s and so is my wife. My parents are gone but hers are all MAGA all the time. She hasn’t talked to them much in years. It’s not just younger adults but older ones as well. I still have trouble comprehending what has happened.
- I'm in my 40s and I always wonder "am I still young people?" When these articles come up. Middle age and modern society be weird.
  
  Late 30s here, everyone is getting considered young people until the boomers and Silents die
  
  42 here. I don't feel old yet, that's all that matters. I'm still doing the same shit I did in my twenties more or less. Except for needing a bit more caffeine nowadays to get going.
  The people 20 years younger than me do seem to be getting weirder and weirder though. I also noticed the old cliques are gone (skaters, emos, 'gangstas', jocks, etc.) and everyone just kinda does their own thing now.
  
  Same. What made me feel old as fuck in this article was one of the young women mentioning voting for Obama in her elementary school mock election.
- My wife and I are not going to her side of family's Thanksgiving this year since they are full Trumpers. Not worth seeing them since we don't like them that much anyhow and they will be insufferable this year. We are in our mid 30s.
- It's not the only reason (they're just truly terrible people across the board), but no one in my family has talked with my grandparents on my dad's side in many, many years because of this. Rightwing nutjobs with no grip on reality and no idea how shitty they are. I'm pretty sure they don't even know that they are great grandparents now (technically, anyway).
  
  Rightwing nutjobs with no grip on reality and no idea how shitty they are.
  I was trying to explain to someone in a forum once - this was someone that was always trying to normalize everything the wingers did. I was trying to explain to him just how often maga people are left out of gatherings and so on. I mean, this is even sometimes other Republicans. It's like one wife whispers to another wife - "well, we should not invite so and so because their husband is nuts for Trump", or, "so and so is a complete Karen that's all in for the conspiracy theory stuff and has Faux on all the time".
  People just don't want to be around this stuff as a general rule. Maybe a handful of other magas do, but normal Americans do not.
  Anyway, this guy thought I was just making this up and asked how do you know you aren't being cut out of social things for being an "extremist" (everyone not for donvict is an "extremist" in their view), etc...what can you do with these people?
- In my 40s and parents are full support of Trump and Cruz (live in Texas). They were always on the conservative side, but since moving there they really went full into being “Texans” and yee-haw America!
  I didn’t talk to them for over a year for something else, but totally in line with the politics/evangelical feelings. My grandma died and I went to the funeral where I finally spoke to them. I will text occasionally to say thanks for something they sent, but ultimately I have still pretty much cut them out everywhere else.

"conspiracy theories" like White People are The Genetic Master Race , Black People Haven't Ever Invented Anything As Far As I know, Political Disagreements Of Any Kind Only Began After We Let Women Vote , Racial Equality is a Communist Plot Maybe, Lets Not Have It, If a Single Italian Is In Heaven, I'll Throw Myself Into Hell , and I Drove By a School and Saw a Mexican Kid, This Country Is Already Lost, And I Bet The Jews Did It
- Top 10 bangers
- This reads like a Kidz Bop ad
- Damn, that's one hell of a long name for a book
- Racial equality is a communist plot and that's why communists are good actually

Studies suggest political divisions are increasingly seen as moral judgments, fostering a “mega-identity” where political views signify personal decency.
I think this is important information that doesn't get enough attention. The divisions that exist in the US today are often portrayed in the media as mostly superficial, as though we only disagree on the minor details of public policy choices, but generally agree on the core principles. I don't think that's true. I think there are significant ideological, philosophical, and moral disagreements among Americans. We have fundamentally different ideals, and we have differing visions of how America should be, and for how people should act and behave.
There are not only two different visions. I don't think it is a strict dichotomy. I think there are several different, visions for the US. Some left, some right; some that want to focus on religious, social, cultural, or ethnic issues, some that want to focus on economic or material issues. There are multiple different ideals competing for supremacy, since the US is a de facto two party system, the winners are which ever groups can form the largest coalition of voters.
- There is only 2 basic core values.
  The right: some people are better than others, and the betters should rule. They differ on what makes someone "better", but that's about it. The left: Everyone is equal, some people need more help than others. They differ on who needs the help.
- The thing that really gets me about that quote is that of course your politics are a reflection of your morals. If you're willing to vote for the bigots, it's because, at best, you're ignorant of what they've been saying that they're going to do for a decade now, none of their bigotry is a bridge too far for you, or you actually agree with the bigotry. There are no other possibilities.

Why are they still claiming "fiscal conservatism" is anything more than racism and class warfare by a different name? Why are conservatives "stronger on economy?" Of course this is causing divides about morals; a vote for the GOP is a vote for oppression and hate.
This bullshit dog-whistling by the media has to stop or we're just letting 70+ million American voters off the hook by letting them claim "but I'm just worried about the economy."
edit: I can't find the source right now, but there's a quote about this. I'm paraphrasing, but it goes something like "historians have a term they use for a person who voted for Hitler because they liked his economic policies. That term is 'Nazi'"
- Historians have a word for Germans who joined the Nazi party, not because they hated Jews, but out of a hope for restored patriotism, or a sense of economic anxiety, or a hope to preserve their religious values, or dislike of their opponents, or raw political opportunism, or convenience, or ignorance, or greed.
  That word is "Nazi." Nobody cares about their motives anymore.
  They joined what they joined. They lent their support and their moral approval. And, in so doing, they bound themselves to everything that came after. Who cares any more what particular knot they used in the binding?
  —A.R. Moxon
  
  🏆
  
  That's the one, thank you.
- “fiscal conservatism”
  I remember when i thought they wanted balanced budgets.
  
  Me too. And then Bill Clinton gave them balanced budgets and they still hated him and his economic policies, and I never really understood why until I realized it was because he wasn't "hurting the right people"
- Trumps "platform" was by any measure or definition less fiscally conservative than kamala. Pretty sure the reps left fiscal conservatism in the wasteland with Romney.
  The new bullshit dogma for the right wing is "growth". But I don't think the Trump parade really even tried to explain that was the goal, or really any coherent economic policy.
  Edit: the article seems to make the same point. That previously at least outwardly normal people have gone off the deep end.
  
  You're missing my point, at least partially. Even going back all the way to Reagan years (and certainly for Romney) "fiscal conservatism" was not actually about the economy or saving money; it was always about cutting social safety net programs that help minorities while enriching the elites (especially defense contractors and banks).
  It's a convenient piece of fiction that allows people to vote for conservatives who pass hateful legislation while claiming to be "not a racist," but fiscal conservatism in the US is and always has been racist. If we want to see any change, we need to start forcing the media outlets and "fiscal conservatives" to say the quiet part out loud instead of getting away with claiming they are "not racist but..."

Dump your family. If this is how they’re gonna behave they don’t deserve you.
Also get them the shitty nursing home.
- Nursing home? They can figure that out on their own or they can eat shit. I'm not doing anything for those fucking Nazis anymore.
  
  First make sure you’re not in one of the 30 states with Filial Responsibility laws. From that site: ”Filial responsibility laws impose a legal obligation on adult children to take care of their parents’ basic needs and medical care.”
  Every state’s laws are different and some states have never enforced them, but it’s definitely something to be aware of. It also might be a good idea to start keeping records/documentation of fights in case you need to argue such a law some day.
  
  They ain’t gonna have any social security to pay for it. Guess they will have to be old street bums.
- Also get them the shitty nursing home.
  Most nursing homes are shitty, tbf. Just leave them there and don't come back for visits
  
  Don’t put them in a home, that just burns money. Let them live out their fully self sufficient dream and pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
  
  There's plenty of really nice nursing homes in the USA ... they're just charge thousands of dollars a month and kick you out if you can't pay.

According to everything I've read, Trump was voted in by every demographic in swing states and even non-swing states.
I know that it's a instinctive flex to dump on boomers (with good reason) but this calls for a bit more of a deeper analysis.
- Fuentes, Gaetz, MTG, Miller, Boebert, Lake -- none of these people are boomers. GenX at most and a lot of millennials. A quick glance through the Southern Poverty Law Center's Leaders of the Radical Right show a lot in their 30s and 40s. Boomers vote and spend money, but they're largely too old to be activists in the traditional sense.
  
  The far right recruited young people online in the ‘00s and ‘10s. Gamer gate was when it broke containment. That was men my age (30) and a bit older and younger
- Girls say they won't let guys smash like they used to also. Fuck it. Pour on the punishments at this point. The more the better. Boomers can pay, young bros can pay. We're all going to suffer once those tariffs start. Let's channel that frustration.

Aren't tons of young adults also MAGA now
- Yeah, the generational divisions aren't clean any longer. Young men voted for Trump, thanks to social media "alpha" male influencers and recommendation algorithms.
- Boomers were drawn in to MAGA to protect their wealth. Gen Z kids were attracted by the promise of lifting them out of poverty and change of the status quo on this. Fascists are really good at convincing people on all parts of the economic spectrum.
  
  If they were actually serious about having a fair shot at having some money, they'd be progressives. Don't change the subject. It's not that they're poor, it's that they're hateful.
- Yes. I wonder if they might turn out worse than boomers, Gen X and Gen Y.
  I doubt critical thinking and media literacy education has gotten any better and certainly not enough to match the vast increase of propaganda combined with algorithms...
  People - typically the usual cloistered beltway media and those that parrot them - tell me that, somehow, Gen Z and Gen alpha are somehow so much smarter, possibly even in some way magical, compared to prior generations.
  Not buying it.
  
  I know every generation says it, but I really think there was a "peak" generation that grew up on the old web, and learned critical thinking the hard way. The Internet is a lie.
  Those that never leave apps and their feeds? Not learning that lesson.
  
  Yeah I'm not so sure anymore either. I used to buy into this thinking from personal experience, like nobody amongst any generations could have the nuanced detailed discussions about progressive subjects like race and gender and it's depiction in media as your typical Gen-Z or millennial on Tumblr or Reddit and all those massively popular decent video essayists and science communicators on YouTube, heck even the right wingers used to make fun of millennials for "heckin' science" and whatnot.
  But now it's like there's been a change, now everything is so massively anti-intellectual, people unironically say that a paragraph is too long to read in comments they choose to browse, simplicity is glorified versus complexity/reality/nuance.
  Perhaps Gen-Z is just far more polarized and radicalised in both directions. If I have to think of the most "lame" thing someone could say in my generation and the most easily attacked position it's to be an establishment or status quo simp like a milquetoast republican or democrat.
- Now? I didn't see a single person over 40 carrying one of those fucking tiki torches in 2016
  
  Truth.
  
  Also true

I say this, as a parent, to people who worry about cutting off their parents if their parents are toxic people:
You owe your parents nothing. You did not ask to be born. They owe you everything. That's their duty.
- I don't know about you but some of us chose to get born. I remember rolling my round ass down through a warm long tube as I waited for my other half to meet up. And, I also remember waiting patiently for the right blast off, one that wasn't going to end up in or on a tummy, and swimming so hard and fast past all the other guys.
  I'd still probably do it again, but it would've been nice to know more about the outside world. But back then it was all just about swimming and trying to hook up.

This headline is stupid.
Maga is the taliban, they're the feeling of disgust made into a group, and they're driving their friends and family away, and then dipshit news articles like this one pretend that it's the normal people's issue.
- This headline is stupid.
  Tbf the article is from Teen Vogue. It's a publication meant for teenagers and is probably trying to relate to them more than the MAGA parents

Parents? My friend volunteered as a poll worker on the University campus here. At his location, 25% of the students voted for the orange fascist.
- I am not entirely sure tour campus changes what this article is stating.

What about parents dealing with their maga kids?
- That's an uncomfortable yet valid question. A significant portion of Gen Z kids were exposed to the MAGA shit through Rogan or Tate. I'm not a parent, but I'd put some serious thought into limiting their inheritance on the down low.
  
  I'm a parent. To me it's the same either way. Open dialogue and understanding. You can't shake hands with a closed fist.
  Luckily my parents and kids are not insane so haven't had to deal much with this but as an example when Andrew Tate came up in discussion with my kids I explained how he's a disgusting human being and how to judge people through a multitude of criteria such as who is promoting them, what are their interests, who are associated with them, what do they represent, etc.
  As a general rule assholes tend to support asshole ideas and surround themselves with other assholes.
  
  Limit it? they want to try lifting themselves by their own bootstraps they can. Give it to a decent charity or someone more worthy.
  
  Well, whatever's left after the landlords and care homes take their cut.
  
  I think trying to avoid your own children is self-defeating. If your kids are falling for this shit, it's ultimately your fault as the parent, and it's your responsibility to pull them back out of it.

This is what we're going through with my in laws right now.
- Same here
  This unfortunately, for real
  Relatable
- More like:
  
  You know we can see your comment history right? No one here is fooled by your bullshit rhetoric, please go back to reddit and don't let the door hit you on the way out ✌️
  
  Remind me, who tried to violently overthrow the government because they didn't like the election results?
  Was it tolerance or the peace sign?
  
  Paradox of tolerance
  now plz gib internet point

Not too strange of a phenomenon if one considers what populism focuses on, the fabrication of divides in order to drive tribal responses from it's followers.Trump's rhetoric is only one variety of it that happens to be very effective at creating that divide, those that are swayed shouldn't really be seen as people that support all of his nastiest views, but as people that have been taken in by that sense of tribalism.
The loss of community is increasingly problematic for individuals in this day in age. There exists too many groups vying for our attention, many of which being communities that span across the globe. And with all these options, local communities may not always seem preferential to these global ones due to comparative size or accessibility. However, they still generally offer much more, and can prevent people from feeling isolated in their lives. Populist campaigns seek to take these people that are divorced from a community, often socially isolated people, and give them a group that seemingly supports them. So long as it's welcoming, it doesn't really matter who's at the head of it, nor it's beliefs.
I feel the fact that older people that aren't quite retirement age and younger men being the people that are most likely to vote for Trump kinda speaks to this theory. I feel like these groups are the most at risk when it comes to developing rewarding communities, so a group like MAGA could be appealing to them.

I'm skipping Thanksgiving
- Same. And Christmas. And I feel no guilt.
- Same. With my in-laws at least. Christmas is up in the air.

Just in time for the holidays.

Maybe they should have voted
- But but but genocide Joe?! 🤪
  
  Yes but Palestine or some shit

Write them off.
And if they need care in later life, put them in the shittiest home you can find.
- Shit, if they need care later in life, they can ask Daddy Trump. I sure as shit can't and won't help.
- While basically any cheap home is going to equate to torture and thus IS a good option (it ain't gonna get BETTER under his admin), you're not required to care for them when they get old like they are you when you're young, you can just leave them to die slowly of whatever it is that'll take them if you want, less headache and responsibility claiming on your part
  
  God damn, Lemmy.
- Why care for someone at all who went so far out of their way to destroy your future?
  Maybe you're a saint, in which case, respect.

They are increasingly seen as moral judgements when people use their assumed morality as a platform from which to take rights away from people. Rights away from women and lgbtq at the forefront, but we’re also facing worker’s rights, your rights when encountering police as a minority, the law being more meaningless the more money someone has, your right to life in an increasingly gun-infested country where just standing in the wrong driveway will get you shot.
So it’s pretty easy to see why you don’t want to be around them.

I'm still trying to have a relationship with my parents despite their love of Trump. My mother, she'll go out of her way to avoid politics with me and my husband, and I asked for a family photo with my nieces and nephews for Christmas, and she made sure all their Trump paraphernalia was removed. I still havent talked to her since the election as I'm still processing the fact that she voted for that fucker.
My dad on the other hand...the last time I spoke to him ended in a screaming match that he initiated, where he hung up on me because I called him racist due to him UNIRONICALLY believing that immigrants ate dogs and cats.
They want to homeschool my niece and nephew, and that terrifies me. That was ANOTHER huge argument that we had over the 2021-2022 Christmas period. I really didnt think Id ever go back after that. But Im so scared that if I dont try, those kids will never be exposed to ANYTHING other than my parents hateful views. I grew up in that environment. I had some views that Im not proud of today until I left home @ 19. I know how fucking convincing they are/how much they push the "fAmIlY oVeR eVeRyThInG" narrative.
That being said, I dont live anywhere near them, and I only see them once, maybe twice in a year, so Im not sure exactly how much affect I can even have on my niece and nephew. But I feel guilty not trying.

What is the point of a news article that could be tailored for either political party with 3 people's subjective experience? You are putting all of your trust in the author/publisher.
It begs to draw conclusions about the masses based on 3 people. Talk about data-driven issues, or notable events, not narratives. This is circlejerk. Just sayin.

Weird. My son is 18 and him and all his friends voted for Trump... lol. Go figure.

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