What do you wish was true about you?

That I was as socially confident as other people seem to be, I don't care if it's all a facade, I want to be able to use the facade.

What helps me is knowing that everyone is fucking awkward.

I've met thousands upon thousands of people and I have never met anyone who is not socially awkward, just a lot of people who are socially skilled in different ways.

The people who don't come across as awkward are the people who acknowledge their awkwardness and own it, who give themselves an opportunity to fumble with their awkwardness and to get used to it the same way you do with any other difficult thing like math or reading or studying or dance or games.

I said all of that to say, not being awkward is not a talent, it is a skill, and you can learn it.
Like with most skills, one becomes confident with practice.

I'm a natural introvert and an only child and therefore has little practice of taking to others. I had no idea of how important small talk is. I learned by working in a bar, where social interaction can't really be dodged and found out that social interaction isn't that daunting as it seemed to me.

It still not my biggest hobby yet I'm not longer afraid of social interaction like I used to be.

I wish I was a dog for real.

Honestly, I'm not even a furry but it has to be exhilarating to be a big wolf or cat.
Imagine being a rich white woman's house cat. Best life in the solar system.

I wish I was happy. Not even all of the time, just some?

Ugh, I feel this. I'm just so done.

To not procrastinate.

I'll comment on this later.
- If it was me (which it was), I'd set a reminder and then every time I got a notification, I'd push it off until later. Also, I'd hate my(past)self for making the commitment to have to deal with the notifications.

I wish I were less anxious/self-conscious. It's weird because outwardly almost no one knows that I am. I'm charismatic and easy to talk to, a natural leader in the workplace (I've managed now at every job I've held) and I'm a loving and supportive father. But deep down I'm still self-conscious as hell. I experience a lot of spotlight syndrome and I feel like I dress frumpy, walk weird, etc. I have a lot of social anxiety and think every situation/confrontation is going to be a worst-case scenario. Had to take 5 weeks off of work for a stress fracture and allowed myself to believe leading up to it that my (typically supportive) boss was going to be angry or petty or challenge me over it. He was extremely supportive and told me to just take the time off and not to worry about putting out the fires at work.

I don't know how I conditioned myself to be like this. Probably a side-effecting of growing up fat and all the self-hate that came with it. I got rid of the fat a lot time ago, but I don't think that shit ever really left me. Fortunately my daughter does not share my lack of confidence. That kid is miles ahead of her peers and I'm so proud of her.

Be able to draw fast. I'm hilariously slow at drawing 😂

Stay out of the wild West

I sometimes wish I could be social without feeling mentally and physically drained.

Same, its always seems to take a toll no matter how well it goes or how much I like the others

I wish I was worth peoples' time.

You are! The people that make you feel you aren't, aren't worth your time 😉

I'm great, so I wish I had more money.

Wish I could negotiate and haggle, I just don't want to, it doesn't feel good to me. I'd rather accept or refuse the offer and move on.

Do you tend to struggle with people pleasing as well or is it limited to negotiation?
- It's more to do with honesty. If the seller says it's worth this much and that's what they need to charge to cover their costs, then I would like to think that's true because if it isn't, they're lying.
- Limited to negotiation.

I wish I didn't have an addictive personality. I just wanna be a casual heroin user, is that too much to ask for? I don't want to sell my mom's TV for another hit rather have a job and pay for my own scores. Ya know responsibly

I don't think think its necessarily an addictive personality that makes one susceptible to heroin. Heroin (especially in the format its consumed) is basically pure pleasure/heaven all at once since all the RoA are all IV/snort/smoke, anyone would end up with a problem after like a week.

Can I ask what heroin seems to be acting as a balm or buffer for?

Wish I wasn't depressed and anxious so I could do what normal people seem to do normally every they meanwhile it takes me a week if I have better episode.

Good health. But alas.

Not having any signs or traits of being neurospicy

I feel that. I wish I was neurotypical, cis, and mentally well :(
I'm seeing that word come up moreadays. What do you mean by it?
- It’s a tongue in cheek way of referring to neurodivergence. The same way that someone might refer to neurotypical as neurobland.

I wish I was more disciplined/focused.

Can you do it just for today?

I wish to know, what free will even is, and how it could be possible.

I seen a lot of people have this particular question and the question that I have for them is what isn't free will?

On the religious side you've got the people who are saying God knows everything so he already knows what you're going to do. On the science side you've got all humans are just chemicals in a hot dog casing.

My opinion is, either which way you look at it you are free to choose what you want to do.

Just because somebody can make you question the freedom of your choices does not mean that your choices are not born of free will.
- Here's my take, and you can do with it as you will.
  
  We don't have free will, how could we? We are, as you said, chemicals in a hot dog casing. When I see something I want to eat, it's because chemicals tell me I'm hungry and it will provide sustenance. When I do something that I enjoy, and want to pursue, my brain is receiving chemicals that it enjoys, and tells me to continue doing actions that produce said chemicals. I can choose to do these things or not, but my choice in and of itself is determined by... more chemicals.
  
  But why does it matter, if those chemicals also tell "me" that "me" is the one in charge?
  
  It's like the cave/ shadow metaphor (that I will poorly paraphrase and misuse); hold a chair in front of a candle, show me the shadow, call it a "table" for my entire life, and the first time I see a chair I will say, "so this is what a table looks like!" It doesn't matter that it's actually a chair, just like it doesn't matter if I actually am making my choices. My reality (and your reality) is what I perceive and accept, and nothing more. Logically, I understand that when presented the choice between A and B, my body and the chemicals composing it are the ones "making" the decision, and I'm just acting it out. I get that. But if someone says, "do you want really want to watch The Lord of the Rings again?" I already know that the world has changed, because I feel it in the water, feel it in the earth, and smell it in the air.
  
  And that's my choice, chemicals be damned.
There's this nice dialog that's written by logician and taoist Raymund Smullyan that is about a man asking god to abscond him off free will. I will not spoil the plot but it has some great turns and offers insights on the absurdities and (im) possibilities of the desire not to have free will (and of talking to god).

It's a long read, mind you but it may give you more insight on what you want to know about.

https://www.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/prose/text/godTaoist.html
- Thank you for sharing this 🙏🏽 good read.

Fitness/athleticism.

This for sure! I didn't appreciate my knees enough when they worked better.

I wish I was persuasive

A really old book, how to win friends and influence people, can teach you this.
- TBH I don't want have to change at all, I'm just saying in the magic genie scenario I'd wish that people agreed with me

Normal joints

Mine are slightly misshapen due to genetics and this causes more frequent strains and injuries. It's a ticking time bomb for me needing really expensive surgery :(

I wish I were more handy or had the mindset for tinkering and doing mechincal repairs. I lack the focus and spatial awareness to look at something, diagnose the problem, and effectively repair it or jury-rig a solution around it.

Same. Always been a dreamer and creative person, just never practical. Although, having the spirit is the first step, right?
Try learning to code a bit if its of interest to you. It will MAKE you into a tinkerer, driven by the thrill of the squashing of the bug and getting the outputs va inputs that you want and is correct

Patience.

Everywhere I go people meander like zombies whether it’s walking, driving, shopping, etc. I can’t figure out why people are soooooo slow, do they have nothing to accomplish? It constantly puts me off, but it’s probably because I moved to a big city in the west (US) coast.

Someone made an offhand comment that I would be an otter if only I were more laid back.

And honestly, that made me kinda wish I could be more relaxed and chill. Everything just seems to important and stressful and difficult and intense to me... I wish I could just turn that all off and just let things happen to me as they come rather than fearing and planning for the future.

How might you roleplay that? Where did the whole otter segue come from haha 🦦
- Was talking to someone about appearances and gay stereotypes.

I wish I would be less of an hypocrite.

What makes you a hypocrite?
- I do the things I despise others for doing.

Bigger tits would be nice. They’re not small, but I’m a boob girl and so it’d be nice.

I also wish I was better at selling myself and developing professional skills quickly.

Its such a cruel thing that humans dont get to choose where the fat goes when we overindulge for too long. Women would be able to accentuate areas they would like to be more curvy in, men could distribute it more evenly so it would be relatively bigger overall rather than fat in any one area

That I had all the energy needed to do things that make me happy. I have a lot of commitments that are more important but less fun than my hobbies. Every time I have to deal with those, it saps my energy for fun things.

I wish my relationship wasn't so very, very, very, very bad. And I wish I could be independent financially and not trapped as I am.

You honestly have no idea how bad it can get. Don't ignore red flags.

That sucks. I'm sorry.
- Thank you.

I really struggle to answer this even though I have this constant feeling of something being wrong. I've been quite lucky with genetics and the things I've wanted to change that can be changed I pretty much already have.

I guess there are two things I'd like to even further improve on:

I'd like to care less. I like myself the least when I get emotionally captured. I'd like to just be able to let it go and be teflon where nothing sticks.
I'd like to naturally want to read more.

Reading can feel like such a chore, even if you enjoy it.

I have trouble getting started. I'm not sure why I feel as though I should only read a book at a time, and that I should finish every book I start.

So I am trying to treat reading more like how I watch TV. I can start and stop, maybe skip a slow episode (chapter, page). I read more than one book at a time. I just swap between books as my interest changes.

Also, audiobooks have been a really great way for me to read more. I listen on walks, while driving, doing odd jobs, or just while playing some mindless game that keeps my eyes and hands occupied while I listen.

It's just so much more fulfilling than listening to music. I find nothing is quite comparable to the way books capture a moment. Theres just so much perspective and wisdom even in fiction books, they can make other media seem somewhat shallow in comparison sometimes.

If you get/have a library card, see if they support overdrive/libby. I periodically replace my social media apps on my homescreen with a book reading app. When muscle memory decides its time to doom scroll, I end up reading a few pages of a book on my phone instead.

About caring less, I cant claim to have figured it out, but read stoic philosophy seems to help put me on the right track. My understanding is its the basis for a lot of modern psychotherapy, and it seems to make a lot of sense to me.
- Do you listen to podcasts too or just audiobooks? In my case, I already listen to a lot of podcast, and I feel like when I'd have a chance to listen to audiobook, I'd just rather put on a podcast. Though perhaps some non-fiction, especially if read by the author.

I wish I liked to study. It would save me a lot of trouble.

You ever tried those exam prep books and just try taking tests till it absorbs organically?
- Never tried. I might try sometime.

Athleticism and the ability to be sufficiently social.

I wish I could dance. I have rhythm, just not with my body.