What is the funniest one syllable word you can think of?

Onomatopoeia usually punch above their weight class here. Shlorp gets my vote.

Have you ever used Shlorp as a verb? I feel it paints a particular picture
- Yes, almost exclusively in the context of dogs shlorping up water from their bowl.

Peef.

It's when you fart out of your dick hole. A "Penis Queef", if you will. Happened to me once when I had a cystoscopy. Weirdest feeling ever.

What the fuuuuuuck. How do you delete someone else's post?
- It wasn't fun for me either
I learned a new thing today, thank you!

Does it sound like peef too? How many decibels do you think you could crank one out to?
- It sounded like a silent but deadly fart. Like a PFFFFT.

Bjork!

I know it’s not a word, but a name… still if you use it with ! I think it’s particularly funny. Like it’s an exclamation, or a warning.

Bjork is my goto nonsense muppet sound. Bjork bjork bjork Bjork!
Icelandic dogs:
You know Björk in swedish is a tree
- It's birch.
Mom! Look! This frog says my name every time I press down on its belly!

Leave the poor animal alone, Björk!
Isn't it two syllables
- It’s pronounced as one syllable in the Nordic languages
- B-york – never thouht of saying it that way
Yes, and you have to say it while sucking in air, not breathing out.
- Holy shit that makes it 10x funnier!
  
  I tip my cap to you, PrayerWaxpaint
The Bjork Song

Smeg

I expect this requires no explanation. You lemmings already know.

Heeeeeead
Oh, we accepting abbreviations now to fit one syllable? This is cheating, I'm calling the police
- Smeg is actually a well known appliance brand
This seven-cheese pizza calls for "Richard's cheese?" Did I get that right?
MA!
This is how I abbreviate avocado smash & eggs. Mostly with two g's, but still.
- It is a versatile word
That's an appliance company here.

The only person that could turn a three letter word into three syllables

Schmutz.

It's Yiddish (?) and is a general term for unspecified dirt or filth. The fun part: once you have identified the filth, it is no longer schmutz.

My spouse and I picked it up from the Says You radio show years ago, and have used it ever since.

It's literally the translation of dirt or filth in German.
- Its US usage comes mostly from Yiddish, but fun story: I studied for two years in Germany after taking one semester of German (would not recommend, but it worked out), and on my first day, I told my housemate that she had some schmutz on her nose, and she was so excited about the German progress I had already made… I did not know at that time that Schmutz was dirt, but I’ve always remembered it
Another great one syllable Yiddish word is Schmuck
- Yiddish has like 200+ words for penis, and zero for vagina. they were also used to describe personality types. a schmuck is a general dick. a schmuckgagle is a giant dick. a schmuckus is a baby dick. etc.
I don't know Yiddish, but it's got some good words. I feel like Hutzpah is one that I hear from time to time
- Chutzpah is great! There are tons of great Yiddish words. Some of my favorites are schvitz (to sweat; alternatively a sauna), schlep ([traveling] an annoying distance), mischigas (nonsense or nutty behavior, or kinda similar to a clusterfuck), noodge (kinda like a pest, but said with some affection), zaftig (pleasingly plump, like Christina Hendricks), and kvell (to be really happy/proud, opposite of kvetch).
So it's a name for a thing that doesn't actually exist?
- No, more like "hey you've got some schmutz on your shirt." I don't know what it is (might be crumbs or maybe lint) but it's definitely there.

I also choose this guy's wife's "boob".

Excellent reference

Without wanting to ruffle anyone's feathers, I will submit queef, which would be worth a chuckle even if it held no meaning

It's funny that quaff is spelled similarly, but has a completely different vibe to it. The two don't mix at all.

Well, unless you're into quaffing queefs, I'm not here to judge.
- Once I quaffed a queef, inhaled a clunge that had beefed, I just belched for relief and resumed the great feat

"womp"

but usually funnier when used as a pair

Makes me think of a sad trombone. Whomp-whomp

Wah-wah-wah has a similar energy

Moist.

Beat me to it!
My wife hates this word, so of course I've weaponized it. Isn't that what true love is all about?

Yeet is fun to say when throwing something.

I love yeet, it's just so fun to say!

You two are wild

However you spell that noise Guinea pigs make.

Twat

pronounced with a hard A

A hard A, eh?
- people tend to default to ~~twut~~ twot, really throwing the A at 'em is fucking hilarious.
  
  ... like the difference between scone and scone.
twaight
- now listen here you little shit ...
Like in Guest House Paradiso

Funt. Looks horrendously rude, resembles two terrible English words, but is completely without meaning in and of itself. Unless you let UrbanDictionary tell you that it's the combination of those two words anyway.

It's also the noise things make when launched out of a tube by compressed air, if not the noise made by lighting gases in a test tube, both of which are highly entertaining.

The spelling "phoont" may be preferable.

I know exactly what you mean with the air-tube. In video games it's the stock grenade launcher sound effect.

I spell it "fwump." It's funny that we're probably thinking of the exact same sound and have different ways to express it

Bob

This is great, I have a curmudgeonly relative named Bob, and he would just hate to think that's funny
Bob.
Bob and vagene?

poot

Came here to say "poot." Truly, a refined and sophisticated selection, well done.
Have you ever read My Teacher Flunked The Planet? There's a little slug creature thing called a poot in that book. I love it
My dad spends a lot of time doodling, and sooner or later he ends up with a man farting a big 'poot' cloud

Cunk

Are you a fan of Philomena? Cunk on Earth was pretty great
- I liked her talking about her mate Paul getting dosed with LSD and threatened with a screwdriver

Hump

Also: dink

Edit: hehehehehehe

You must be a fan of The Princess Bride, or as I like to call it Prince Humperdink and that Blasted Woman Who Didn't Want to Get Married

Your edit is the whole reason I'm here :)
Engelbert Humperdinck ?

Schnozz

I used to have a dog named Schnozz! He was always sticking his schnozz where it shouldn't be
- eyebrow wiggle

Moob.

Hehe, moobies

I always enjoyed the word putz. I typically use the verb format but it amuses me that every definition is so different lol.

I didn't know you could verb this one. But being called a putz is devastating in a way. Like, you think it's a dirty word, but it's really not
- Putzing around is another way to say goofing off.
- It means the male reproductive organ in yiddish.

Shunt.

I like this one because it sounds dirty and it's not

Nob

Nob and Knob are spelled the same, and I feel like you could use them interchangeably.

Hit someone with a Gnob and they'll look at you funny
- As written words they have distinct meanings I think - with the exception of a class of people (nobs) the word is always with a K for all other uses. I’m gonna start calling people “gnobs” from now on to muddy the issue.

Berk

(It has a very rude etymology)

I agree, Berkshire is very rude indeed
I had to look this one up. The first definition I got was "a name for an idiot, affectionately."

Then I saw the other definition, had a chuckle

On your way to the infart.

As a mountaineer I enjoy the word "cwm". Sounds like it should nasty but in reality it's just Welsh for cirque.

How do you pronounce that, is it something like "coom" ?

I can totally get why it would sound gross
- Exactly.
That’s the only word in the (American) English language that uses w as a vowel (I hope British English has a stronger Welsh influence, but I can’t say). If you learned “and sometimes y and w” as part of your vowels, that’s the reason why.
- It's not the only one (there's also Crwth and Pwn)

Stank.

The dank rank of crank stank ranks poorly with focus groups

Scrunched

Longest syllable I can think of, rather ironic

I think 'scrunched' is the longest one I've seen in this post, I can't think of a longer one.

In a similar vein, it feels really wrong that 'abbreviate' is such a long word.
- If people pronounce squirrel as one syllable, then I guess squirreled could be as well, but it’s not in my dialect.

Shart

Gotta love a portmanteau.

Do you think you could say this on network TV? It's origin is definitely a curse word, but somehow I feel like this would get a pass.

Peh

Squirrel

So you're American, I take it?
This is kind of blowing my mind that a word that long is only one syllable
- I see you're unfamiliar with the alternate spelling, skwerl.
- Always appreciated the levels of drawl it takes to squeeze this into one.

Boof

pink

Not the color. The sound of something tiny-yet-structurally-significant snapping under pressure; juuuuust before the most chaotic gosh-damned thing you've ever seen in your life happens. Car accidents, roller coaster failures, towers collapsing (not those ones) - it's pretty much always preceded by a tiny little pink

Clunge

I heard this word for the first time today elsewhere in this post.

Gotta keep expanding my vocabulary, dontcha know?

Bonk

Shmeckels, nick name of my cat when he eats...and shmecks

Shmeckels makes me think of a fun name for money, like shekels.

I say look at this fat stack of smackaroonies! That's a lotta dough, there's gotta be a hundred clams here! And you know what I'm gonna do with all these bones? Buy a thesaurus!
- Shmackaroonies you shay?

In commonwealth culture where I come from, "loo" is the slang word for toilet, and it's always funny out of context.

I felt like I had an aneurysm watching that video. I still feel enriched by the experience though!

Bloop

"Bloop" is associated pretty strongly with Slime Rancher for me. It's the noise of happy slimes
- I am entirely ignorant. What is Slime Rancher?

Fünf

Is this German for Five? Goofy looking number
- Yea. It’s my favorite word just because the sound.

poop (or fart); they're such universal words that everybody, kids and adults alike, just understand how gross and funny they are instantly.

I like to yell " HULST ! " whenever i see it, and then point at it. It's dutch for holly

Whenever I see holly my brain says "do it, eat the berry." It's not fair that they're so red and plump

I think my brain's trying to kill me

Fart.

Classic

Want to hear another one? Pull my finger.

bop

squirreled

It's the longest one-syllable word last time I checked. Pretty ridiculous that it is one syllable honestly.

scrunched

This is the reason that scrunchies are objectively more fun than other ways to put up your hair

Nah

I'm a nope guy myself, but I certainly get the appeal

Plung.

Is there a deeper meaning behind this one? It sounds fun
- Years ago, Electric utility badly mangled a friend's last name. That's what was on his bill. He never corrected it. It's pronounced like "plug" but with an "n."
  
  Feels like it should be in the dictionary, under some sort of insult.