‘The Onion’ Officially Endorses Joe Biden For President

The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

- Suckers bet, I’m not taking it.
- How will you be able to tell? His speeches are so incoherent! Hahqhahqha
  
  Hahq tuah
- I want people to send this to him now!

But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.
I love it.
- Stop telling me what color shapes I can and cannot use, Geneva!
  
  Calm down Canada.
  
  /c/NCD leaking

Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards
They really aren't pulling their punches!
- The whole thing is brilliant. The Onion has been on fire lately.
  
  The ownership changed in April this year and apparently staff was given more freedom what they can write.

I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.
- Its a reoccurring gag.
  
  I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.
  
  Sure. Just a joke.
- ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ
- pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead
  
  That's only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.
  
  Well don't underestimate the reach of Global Tetrahedron.
  Cover from January 2001: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Onion#/media/File:The_Onion,_January_18-24,_2001.jpg

upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke
- It took me like 15 😭

I'm a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn't running STUPIDS!

I'm glad Americans are finally waking up. Biden may not be perfect, but he is the only candidate who can beat Trump. I'll be doing my part by voting for him as many times as possible this November!

Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in.
We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)
- The Onion wanted to play on hard mode. How do you write satire when that shit head was in the White House?

I'm not even American but I've already voted for Joe Biden several times. Just wrote the name down on pieces of paper and mailed them off. Adressed them to Joe Biden too, so that shit counts double. Put some extra stamps on them, and that's exponential growth in the number of times I voted for him. I'm practically a swing state of my own, the way I'm swinging my massive votes around.
- I'm very afraid some maga is going to read this comment and take it seriously.
- screenshotting this and sending it to fox news as an admission of guilt

Im writting in Joe Biden this november

I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.
- I'm voting Netscape Navigator. Lesser evil.
  
  Netscape was never lesser or evil.
- Naw, they're rooting for Eisenhower.
- He's all the buzz on AIM right now.

Ted Kazinski?
- You might know him for his academic papers.
  
  Among other works
  
  you joke but this is how he's brightly discussed in some circles lol I have seen some concerning publications that refer to him as uncle Ted and other light-hearted names in a similar context
  
  And his cake having tendancies
- Yeah, the mathematician. What about him?
  !it's a running gag for the onion!<
  
  I used:
  
  ::: spoiler Tap for spoiler hidden content :::

Hell yeah I'm writing him in

This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!

took me a moment...

- You've clearly not been following their Israel/Gaza headlines. They've absolutely been on fire.
- The follow up tweet is quite good;
  Joe Biden has stood up to everyone who threatened this great nation, from Vladimir Putin to Anita Hill. And he supports women and minorities, based on that seemingly random lady he chose to be his vice president.
- You would be too since reality is more satirical than anyone can imagine.
- Have you read the article?
  
  I was told there would be no fact checking
  also fuck the mods
- Get a sense of humour you boring fuck lmao

This better be satire
- Never heard of the Onion before?
  Edit. Oh Jesus, I looked at their comments. Insane nut job mascot.
- Just so everybody knows what kind of fucking liberal is this brain dead this guy regularly complains that lgbtq and trans people are bad because if you say bad things about them people get mad at you.
  
  You weren't kidding. This guy is one of those "I used to support gay rights but then they said I couldn't use slurs anymore so now that's why I'm a conservative."
  
  I’m not liberal, I am a conservative Republican, and I don’t necessarily say that the LGBTQ are bad, I say that the fact that they are making CHILDREN trans is bad, its VERY bad, kids as young as three years of age are making this permanent decision after being influenced to by their parents, they aren’t old enough to make this decision, let alone comprehend the ramifications of this decision
- "'The Onion'" is literally in the headline.
- for the good of everyone on the planet, please never communicate another thought or feeling ever again, over any medium
- The guy plays Starfield if you want another target to bully lmao
- No, but you sound like you might be. A Trump supporter blatantly incapable of absorbing the information right in front of him. Typical.
  
  I am a Trump supporter, and no I am not incapable of absorbing the information in front of me, you saying typical is stereotyping, arent you lefties supposed to discourage that in your magical crusade to be all inclusive? Fucking pansy
- Its not America’s finest, X is currently actually the number one news source in the states