Are we absolutely sure, someone in German military command didn't pull out a file labeled "Unerwartethochwassersturmkriegangriffplan" from a dusty old cabinet somewhere, in anticipation of this natural disaster?
Dear god, no, just imagine the bureaucracy. First you have to contact the Bundesamt für Soldatenspontangrenzüberschreitung for a Überraschungshochwasservortäuschungsmanöverbewegungskriegsplanerlaubnisantragsvorlage.
Liar and thief, so fits. But dude stole enough (and then, prolly, earned second that through legitimate means) that he's currently hella better choice than either of scums above.
he's in hoodie because he visited the flooded region today. as of surname, it might be related to germanic root tysk- like how you have "tyskland" in danish meaning "germany" (he's kashubian, and that region had strong german and scandi influences). donald tusk is the face of boring moderates™ that were main opponents of previous batshit insane conservative government, and that particular rumor mill has a significant conservative slant