3mo ago

You are being tortured. Your captor is forcing you to listen to someone else eat. What are they eating?

For me, it's corn on the cob.

99 comments

My stepdad would eat bananas with his mouth wide open as he chewed. And he'd chew each bite for a solid minute before swallowing. Even though it's a banana and you can literally just mash it agains the roof of your mouth with your tongue. He would do this as he was driving, so I think he'd just get distracted and forget that he was still chewing food. But it made every ride to school in the morning an absolute living hell.
So I'm gonna go with bananas.
- Were you a terrible kid? Sounds super passive aggressive (and kind of hilarious)
  
  Nah he's just always had no self awareness when it comes to the noises he makes. Lots of loud chewing while you're trying to eat, grunting and snorting in the middle of a conversation, full-volume "whispering" in movie theaters, etc. He's not even hard of hearing or anything (dude hears like a bat, honestly), he's just a very loud guy lmao

Live mice would be pretty messed up.
- I have free-roaming cats, so that's a sound I wake up to regularly.

I'm so deaf I could sit in a room full of large, sweaty men slurping chicken off drumsticks while making open-mouthed, gruntled dad noises with every gasping breath, and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Well, other than such a room existing, that is.
- I want to be in that room now.
  
  same

The food doesn't matter if the person eating is my dad. He makes loud nasty noises no matter what he is eating. Once he is done eating the noise continues for 10 minutes because he is cleaning his teeth with his tongue.

Jokes on them, listening isn't my torture. It's seeing people eat with their mouth open and especially bits falling out while chewing. Yuck
- Thank you for picking a gif that implies the thing I dislike but doesn't actually depict it. You rock 🙃

Ice cubes. From a cup. That they are shaking periodically between sips/bites.
- From a metal tumbler so every time they get some it's "slide, crunch, CLANK".

Back in the day, a girlfriend of mine eating fries and mayo. She is a professor at Leuven University now, very smart mind, sweet and handsome...but you wouldn't take her out to the snackbar because she would eat like a hungry pig.
- ....m..mayo?
  
  It's a Dutch thing..."patatje mayo".

Those asmr mukbang videos. I can't stand asmr sounds in general, eating makes it worse

I'm torn between "no teeth (just gums) and a mouth stuffed with chocolate pudding (specifically the one that many American buffet restaurants use)" and "crunching jagged jawbreakers (or rocks)"

Doesn't matter what they are eating. Their mouth is open and they are mouth breathing as they chew.
- Make it garlic then, just to be sure

My ex-MIL has TMJ and chews with her mouth open so I’d say her eating kettle chips, jaw clicking with every bite.

nuclear samyang buldak (spicy noodles).
they have to eat it japanese style where they have to slurp. i think the sounds would be too tempting asmr.

I dont care what they are eating, but they are eating it in one of these

The sound of these things opening gives me nightmares

My captor must have had experience working help desk. I've endured people eating chips and sandwiches, chewing gum, and sniffling with stopped up sinuses right in my ear, while trying to focus on fixing their computer.

This would be literal torture to my wife. I think after watching enough movies with sound effects, eating food, and seeing her reactions it would be the sound of people eating spaghetti with their hands, audibly slurping up the noodles, chewing with their mouths open, combined with loudly smooching and making kissing sounds. They're also popping their necks and elbows throughout the process. She might literally go crazy if she was forced to listen to that for a long period.

My stepdad - generally an okay Rick Moranis type and a wizard at the penny stocks - had a quirk. We found out he specifically hated people sucking the sauce off their fingers after eating chicken wings; that kind of thing.
Oh God, we were relentless.

CRAB!
My hubs loves them so I get to sit across the table and listen as he brutally cracks open his food.
You know what they do with the legs, yeah?
- Does homeboy not know about crabcakes? All the taste, none of the pain in the ass and paying for the privilege of preparing your own food. Just get them somewhere that doesn't use filler.