4mo ago

Is it really just ageing/ getting older? How is this supposed to work? How is everyone else doing this?

Edit: thank you all very much for your time, thoughts and effort to reply to this. I really appreciate it and I try to find a new doctor. Your questions and encouragement were very helpful and made me realise that my symptoms are too strong, considering my lifestyle. For those who asked questions, here are the answers: I eat healthy, we cook fresh, colourful food almost every day, only drink water, coffee, tea, no alcohol, no smoking, no fast food. I walk my dog several times a day and when I'm doing something where I have to sit for an extended period of time, I take a little walk evey hour or so and also use a standing desk attachment to change my position. I sleep on a really good mattress (my partner struggled with our last one so we invested in a good pair of matresses, matching our body type) I have a healthy weight on the lower end of the scale. I had to cut back my exercise that I was doing for twelve years due to the pain, switched to light Yoga and streching until even that became unbearable.
Thinking about all this together, I think my fear of not being taken serious made me believing my current GP.

I'm in my mid twenties. My body seems struggling, since May/ June, so some time then I went to my GP. His response: "everyone experiences symptoms of their ageing body at a different time, seems like you just experience it earlier..." This was around May/ June, it just tends to get worse. Which leads to the questions featured in the title. My body hurts, like, a lot. Especially my low back/ sacrum. My knees, shoulders, wrists, ankels. My hands are swollen in the morning and they hurt, I can't unscrew any lids or bottle caps, sometimes can't even write anymore as my fingers are very stiff. As the rest of my body. I can't reach for anything on the ground in the morning, it makes everything so difficult. I can't really bend over to tie my shoes or pick something up. I can't do my regular activities even though I really want to do my sports like climbing which I really like. I do like being active and want to stay fit. But it just hurts too much. At the same time, resting somehow makes it even worse. I'm exhausted, but need to constantly move around on a low level. How is everyone else doing this if this is what ageing feels like? How am I supposed to have kids or even just live like this, as I always just hear that with an ageing body, everything just gets harder every year? I really do appreciate everyone who reads this. Thank you in advance for answering if you have any tips on how you manage this

48 comments

I'm entering 40s and this doesn't sound normal to me. Get a second opinion if your doctor is writing it off. Don't get me wrong, as I got older my joints are sore and pop in the morning. My back can't handle some sports I used to enjoy. You're too young to be struggling with jars and shoes in my completely uninformed nonprofessional opinion.
- Times a thousand. I'm older and have beat the shit out of my body with drugs (ended early 20s) and alcohol (still) and don't get enough exercise and I wake up feeling reasonably good. What has been described here is outside of normal aging. Good luck!
  Also, give up on that doctor. Reminds me of one that assumed I had a hemorrhoid without checking it and I actually had an abscess of infection. Emergency room doc told me that had I waited any longer for a second opinion I'd have had to get checked in to deal with it. Your current doctor is dangerously unqualified.
  
  Well that sounds rather unpleasant. Maybe I was a little naive in assuming that this doctor for sure won't tell any bullshit, as he seemed (~~old~~) experienced. I'm glad you had the courage to get a second opinion

Seek a second opinion. That doctor is not listening to you. Something other than aging is going on and it should be properly investigated.
edit: is severe arthritis in your family (or any other bone/joint disease)? Are you exposed to large or long term doses of chemical(s) or radiation in your life through work or living environment (industrial zone nearby/upwind, or very old home). These are things I'd be considering.
- Thank you for your answer, I appreciate everyone wo is taking the time and effort. Well, my brother has spondylitis ankylosans. I asked my doc about it (my mother always warned us to have in our mind when something comes up) but he said that this is not related and my symptoms wouldn't match as I am too young. He also stated that it especially has nothing to do with low back pain. Other than that, no chemicals, no radiation (we live in a area where this actually can be a problem so it is quite common to check for it and we never had any elevated levels) I'm not working in a high stress environment, no heavy lifting or something like that and I move quit regularly during the day
  
  It’s really interesting to me that you have provided this additional clue because ankylosing spondylitis was literally the first thing that popped into my head reading your story. I agree with others that your story sounds much more than typical aging symptoms and you should seek the opinion of another physician.
  
  Up front: I am not a doctor.
  Seriously, seek a second opinion, and if you are a woman, and it sounds like the original doctor is a man, find a woman doctor. I know this sounds sexist, and I’m honestly not trying to be, but it has been shown many times how male doctors tend to overlook or not listen to female patients. You must advocate for yourself.
  Anecdotally, my spouse has had this happen numerous times. And it is extremely frustrating every time because it’s effectively a waste of time and money. And, something could be seriously wrong (not saying anything actually is), so you should make very certain at minimum that certain testing is done such as various tests from blood work and/or urine testing.

I’m in my forties and what you’re describing doesn’t sound normal at all. I beat myself up good in my younger years with sports and still do somewhat regular cardio and weightlifting. I have a bum knee and hip problem, shoulder issues from weightlifting injuries, and my back gets stiff and sore on a good day.
None of that stops me from functionally living, and none of its anything the occasional ibuprofen or toke won’t fix in the short term. I can still exercise, do physical labor, open all the jars, and be generally active, and without pain the majority of the time.
What you’re describing sounds more like an inflammatory disease or auto-immune disorder. 110% get a second opinion from a different doc, or a third if needed.

What you do for work might be a factor, but i dont think pain to that extent is normal. I would stress to your doctor that basic tasks are painful and that youd like to get checked out anyway. Youve got nothing to lose by getting it checked, only to gain. Im in my mid 20s too and while i get aches in my knees/back occasionally its not debilitating as you describe it.

I'm decades older than you and I've only experienced much milder versions of some of what you've described. Your dr is a complete asshat. I think drs tend toward being negligent about that sort of thing as people age in general, but to hand that line to someone in their mid-twenties is beyond stupid.

I'm no doctor, but it sounds like rheumatoid arthritis or an autoimmune response. Did you have covid?
See a different doc. Get extensive bloodwork. They may need to get you to a rheumatologist. Good luck.
- Or Psoriatic arthritis. Mine just popped out of nowhere mid twenties.
  To clarify i had never had any visible signs of psoriasis before my fingers and toes looked like large sausages.

I think you know this isn’t normal. You know people twice as old who are in less pain.

Mid 20s is way too young to be experiencing chronic pain caused by normal aging. That being said, it can be caused by being out of shape. If you're not eating right, keeping active, and keeping a regular sleep schedule then the pain might be because of your lifestyle. If you dont think you're out of shape, then you definitely need to talk to different healthcare providers and stress how your chronic pain is interfering with your life.
- Nah, I did everything wrong in my 20s and I experienced nothing like OP's symptoms.
  
  Your body isn't OP's body, genetics also play a role.

I had some chronic shoulder pain for years. Primary physician was like "yeah that sucks". 2 specialists were like "yeah, old collarbone injury I guess? Take Advil"
Years later, third specialist opinion found a missing ligament and did surgery.
Moral of the story is that you should get a few opinions here, maybe the first isn't right
- Missing ligament? Like because of genetics or something? That's wild
  
  Actually, missing because of a high-side on a motorcycle years ago. I did break some bones, but also tore through the ligament. Well, I guess it died from lack of being attached or whatever and was gone by the time they got an MRI on it
  It allowed the bicep to regularly pop out of the humeral groove, which I assure you was not pleasant

Fuck your GP, get another. You're having an immune system problem. It might be there's nothing that can be done, but you need to be properly checked. That pain is your body fighting itself and it's not good.
I'm the mean time, start a regular regiment of naproxen, soak your knuckles in rather warm water to alleviate temporary pain and get into a new GP ASAP.

No, this is not normal. I would honestly look for a different general practitioner. I would start by just getting a full blood work panel done if you haven't had that yet, and hopefully that will provide some insights right off the bat.

I would definitely get a second or third opinion if I were you
I am a man in my late forties and I can tell my body is running down. But, um, I don't deal with constant pain. Swelling. I can do everything I want to do.

Putting aside whether it's normal for you to be experiencing aging so early*, you should still see another PCP because they didn't manage your actual concern: "I am experiencing issues functioning day to day life, and would like a plan to manage this".
It would have been one thing if the doctor had said "yup, just you, so let's get you into an assisted living arrangement now", or "I'm fairly certain this is just your shitty genes, but to rule out anything else, let's send you for X tests and see the Y specialist".
From your post, it doesn't sound like that was the case.
*The joke goes that after thirty you don't get injured, you get permanent disabilities.

You don’t need to ask strangers on the internet about your health. The only thing you need to do is learn how to get a second opinion from another doctor.
- Well, yeah, but on the other hand: who else can I ask? Of course, nobody here knows me or my situation. But I do, and let me tell you: there is nobody who I can get some thoughts about this , some questions I didn't consider yet, ideas on what to do...and maybe a little encouragement... I'm overwhelmed by the amount of people who cared and shared their thoughts
  
  who else can I ask?
  Everyone has already answered that for you. You ask another doctor. Take care.

This doesn't sound normal at all. I'm in my mid 30s and I have never had debilitating pain, unable to open jars pain. Like others have said, seek a second opinion.
p.s. get a new doctor, one that will actually listen to you when you say something is wrong.

As others have responded, your joint pains are not normal. Yes, I had joint and muscle pains in my 20s, but it was always obvious how I got them and they eventually healed after several days.
When I was 55, my fingers started swelling and I was unable to perform simple tasks. My doctor ordered a series of blood tests, CBC (Complete Blood Count), CMP (Comprehensive Metabolic Panel), Rheumatoid factor, Lyme disease (there are 2 tests for this), plus others that I can’t recall off the top of my head. I was eventually diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.
You should find a doctor who won’t ignore your symptoms.

I think you have enough people saying that this isn't normal, but...
You're in your mid 20's and you cannot bend over to tie your shoes!? How old is your GP? Sounds like they need to think about retirement... or a career change.
Also just want to second what someone else in here said: Get tested for celiacs disease

I've started having issues recently, too. After a work injury, I finally saw my GP, who recommended Physical Therapy, which has basically just been a guided workout with some yoga moves worked in over the course of an hour.
It hasn't fixed my pain yet, but it's made it better, and my pain was explained in a way that makes sense (my shoulders and core weren't as strong as they should have been, placing undue burden on some of my backmuscles).
If you don't want to go to PT, I'd strongly recommend just slowly doing 10-15 minutes of simple stretching like what you might have done in Gym as a kid. Stretch to the point of mild discomfort, not pain, doing each stretch 3 tines for 10 seconds. It might be worth looking into some basic yoga poses that target your particular pains (or the ones that you want to target first).
I'll bet you'll notice good results after a week. If not, definitely go see your GP again.
Obligatory "I am not a doctor"

Agree with everyone else that this isn't normal for someone your age and get a second opinion.
However addressing your other questions: you're at an age where lifestyle starts to really matter. Diet, exercise, ergonomics, environmental exposure to pollution/toxins, alcohol/drug use, sleep habits: these are all things that many healthy young adults can avoid having to worry about... until suddenly they can't anymore. It is common, especially starting around age 30, to find there's unhealthy behaviors from your teens and 20s that you just can't do or do to excess anymore. It's different for everyone; for some people it's that they can't sleep on a crappy mattress anymore, or drink certain types of liquor, or pull all nighters, or eat garbage, etc etc.
So while it sounds like you have some personal health issues outside of what's "normal," you still are at an age where the cumulative effects of a poor lifestyle can start to catch up to you. I think a lot of people greatly underestimate how sedentary their lifestyles are in particular, and of all the behaviors to change for the better as you age, going from sedentary to active is probably the hardest, given that our world is built to keep us sitting: sitting in our cars, sitting at our desks, sitting on our couches, basically sitting from the moment we wake until we go to sleep. Humans never lived like this until very recently: basically every decade since the personal automobile became the standard mode of transportation it's steadily gotten worse. So yes, definitely do some doctor shopping, but now is also a great age to take stock in your lifestyle and how you're treating your body. Because yes, it does get a little harder each year, but the speed of which it gets harder is at least partially up to you.

A guy I used to work with had very similar symptoms just before he was diagnosed with Celiac's Disease. You can always ask your doc to test for it. Simple blood draw.
- Interesting you bring up Celiac Disease, as I found it doing some GoogleMD^tm myself, but had forgotten about pursuing it.
  I'm a bit older than OP, but have almost all the same symptoms, and have gotten the same "your just getting old" response from everyone. I still believe mine is tied back to me getting COVID (only tested positive that once), and have hurt basically non-stop to some degree since. I know people have all sorts of long-COVID things from taste, smells, breathing, diabetes, heart issues (blood clots/blood pressure/etc.) and on and on. This woman at work had this wild autoimmune thing with kinda painful rash blots that would randomly popup all over her body not long after she had COVID. I guess it's possible maybe it triggered Celiac Disease for me.

Nope. Not normal sounding to me. Even your doctor says it's not normal if you think about it, he thinks it's early. As everyone else states, second opinion time.
Everything you listed, I get, but at a mere fraction, save for the swelling, nothing here. Beyond seeing another doctor for a second opinion, it sounds like you're physically fit, which is more troubling. I am kind of fit, and sometimes my back hurts. What makes it go away? Working out my core muscles in a regimen after a few weeks. Staying active.
I am 40 fwiw, and you sound far worse off than I feel. See another physician.

Echoing other commenters see another doc this isn't aging at all.
I'm no doc either but swelling like this all the way back to May/June at your age is def not normal.
I know someone who's young and deals with gout, which sounds kinda similar but it could be a lot of things that could get worse from hesitating so duck that quack and get a second opinion

::: spoiler I was overweight in my late teens and by my mid twenties I was in really bad shape at 340lbs at my worst. I was in a Target with serious chest pains at one point. I'm not a whiner type and have a significantly above average pain threshold, but I wondered if I would even make it back to my car and get home that day. That was in '08. By '09 I had to move back in with family and started riding a bicycle everywhere. I had tried running and rowing when I was younger, and when I was overweight, some of that was from semi regular gym visits and weight lifting. Nothing ever really stuck like a real lifestyle though. They were always things I made myself add to my routine. I tend to overheat from aerobic exercise. Overheating in this context is really hard to define in a relatable way because it is such an intimate concept to my self awareness. Mainly my head tends to get much hotter than the rest of my body in such a way that I am extremely uncomfortable. I can easily put up with that unpleasantness. If I had never gotten into hardcore cycling, I wouldn't have known this unpleasant overheating was even a thing separate from exercise itself.
I come from a background of hot rodding cars. Internally, I always had this notion that I was failing at life if I could paint cars, airbrush graphics, build motors, and fabricate at such a high level, but couldn't do the same with myself and my body as the driver. This curiosity is a major driver in why I rode so persistently through the first couple of months to get past the worst discomfort and made it to a routine. The part that made it different from all aerobic efforts previously was the airflow on a bike, it's massive. The cooling effect got me. I resisted the clothing at first, like everyone does, but after realizing its utility and purpose, it unlocked the cooling effect even more. I made it to under 190 lbs, worked in a bike shop, and raced. It was really the best I had ever felt in my life by a long shot. The lack of impact with cycling also has a fantastic effect on loosening up your body and improving aches and pains. I had felt like I was aging in addition to chest pains and other problems when I was 340lbs but that all went away with riding.
I was super unlucky and was partially disabled by a driver in '14. I had a bunch of broken bones and barely survived. I now walk around slowly, and can't hold posture for very long at all. Still, I can ride. It is nothing like it was in the past. I can only do ~30 miles in a day regularly when I could pull a 100 mile day weekly in the past, and have ridden 200+ miles in a day before. At the present, it does not feel like I can or should be riding, but so long as I maintain my routine that includes nearly daily cycling, I am empirically in my best shape in terms of the least aches, pains, and problems even with severe chronic problems. There is no chance I would be able to establish such a cycling routine from my current state, but I came into my condition as an amateur racer, so I had that advantage and never lost my race legs. If at all possible, consider road cycling. Get a proper bike and get someone to fit you on the bike (adjust and swap required components to fine tune your anatomy to the bike) because with road, the little details are super important or you'll cause issues from that level of repetitive motion. There are a lot of disabled people on bikes too. In a shop, I was the Buyer and often helped people with unique needs. It may not be right for you, but is maybe something to think about. Cycling changes more than your physique, it impacts your physical and mental health in profound ways. Cycling really is a lifestyle. On a bike your both free and anonymous for the most part.
- Thank you for sharing your story. I'm really impressed by your mindset after going through all of what you wrote. Biking sounds fun, I might be looking into it, right now I can't really put a lot of weight on my wrists/ hands but maybe I find a way around that. I actually live in an area where biking of all sorts is quite popular :-) .
  
  So as far as bike fit and road, if a road bike is fit properly, you won't have weight on your wrists or hands. It probably sounds a little unintuitive, but a proper bike fit on road is all about balancing your weight so that your upper body is neutral without any weight on your arms. Like, the primary test to see if your saddle position is correct is to see if you can pedal smoothly on a trainer while taking your hands off the bars completely.
  The key here is that the centerline of the crank arms is the fulcrum of the rider's balance. The adjustment of this balance point is set by sliding the seat fore and aft, thus placing more or less of the rider's posterior to the rear of center.
  The only reason I can still ride is because my thoracic (spine section where the ribs are attached) is neutral when I ride, which by inference also means my arms must be neutral too.
  I am totally fine with people that don't wish to try it or cycle for whatever reason. I'm simply trying to relate that road bikes are not like any other kind of bike. They are intended to be fine tuned to one's anatomy, and this makes it possible to ride even when many other forms of exercise are not possible. I can't swim or do anything sitting upright, standing, or reaching, yet can ride. GL. I wish you the best.

If you were in your 40’s I would empathize… in your 20’s, something is amiss. Keep asking doctors. No one knows your body better than YOU. YOU are your best advocate.

Don't just get a second opinion. Call your doctor and tell them that you do not want to see that doctor any more.
Doctors don't care if someone gets a second opinion. They do care if someone opts out of their care because their co-workers or doctors elsewhere provide better care.

Get some exercise. Start with few km walk daily. Then Do running and gym.

Two answers. First, WTF are you doing asking in here, go see a doctor. Hell, see 3 of em.
But also, life is just a meaningless struggle against empathy anyway. You're best off just accepting it and trying to have some fun before your inevitable natural death.
And don't worry, existential crises get easier to live with after your first few. It might help to get a low-dose anxiety medication.

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