4mo ago

What would you do/how screwed would you be if you woke up in the last game you played?

The Last game I played was Splatoon 3. It really depends on a few things, Am I an Inkling/Octoling? Do I speak the language? Where am I? In Splatoon lore all humans died in mass floods, so if I was still human I would probably be studied. Also, if I'm in the middle of the ocean I would be screwed either way. Assuming that I am in a major city or at least near civilization, and I am an Inkling/Octoling, and I speak the language, I would be fine. As for what I would do, I would sign up to work at Grizco, and once I have enough money buy a gun and participate in turf wars to gain money, eventually buying an appartment.

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Stardew Valley.
You know what? I’m okay with this. Sign me up, I accept.
- Samsies and samsies. Mortgage free farm in a quiet town with a evil corporation to screw over? Hell yeah.
- Be careful in the mine
- I'm playing fields of mistria which is basically the same so yeah I'm very okay with this

Sometimes you roll the Katamari, and sometimes the Katamari rolls you.

Euro Truck Simulator 2, so all things considered, pretty chill
- Snowrunner, so yeah, same. Maybe I'd be lonely after a while.
- Same here, I think I would enjoy it.

Fallout London. It'd be an intense half an hour trying to open inaccessible doors before I'd crash back to safety.
- 😄

Minecraft Survival? Well, I wasn't playing on hardcore, so I guess I'd be alright.
Or, hmm, on my phone, Pikmin Bloom. A vast army of adorable minions to accompany me as we wander around Chicago in search of public art; not so bad.

Happily married, with a brand new baby, living in a large house, on a well established farm, with financial security and steady income, plus a small fortune in extremely valuable wine aging in the basement, near a friendly town with lots of festivities, where no matter how badly I screw up someone will find me and bail me out so that I can get home or see a doctor.
- Similarly, my egg farm has just hatched it's 10 billionth chicken that lays dark matter eggs whilst living in their own micro universe, my bank account is sitting somewhere in the vicinity of 80+ zeroes after the number, and I regularly send ships to space to hunt for artifacts.
  I suppose I get to shoot down rogue drones while relaxing in an egg based utopia. I might have to deal with time cops at some point for using spliced timelines to make sure each egg is the highest possible quality, across all timelines that chicken exists in.

No Man's Sky. Pretty sweet deal, I think.
I'd just start mining random stuff to put together to make better mining gear to mine better and more stuff.
Then just get on my dinghy and explore the 'verse while looking out for a better dinghy. Maybe plop down a few bases on nice planets, rinse and repeat.
- Same here! Infinite universe to explore, I'd find a cool planet to rip around in exocraft, build a nice cliffside base, chill in a space station if things get dangerous, would be a sick time!

Baldur's Gate 3, I probably would be praising The Absolute.
- Meanwhile me attempting the late game swoop on Mystra because Gale somehow managed to fuck up being the personal booty calls of one of the most powerful gods of the realm

Elden Ring, none of that is going well

Valheim. My homestead is beautiful and densely forested. I'm well equipped and have provisions for days. I'm good.

I would be dead within 7 days. Quite apt as the game is 7 days to die.

Helldivers 2
- I think you may have the fastest death in this thread. Average lifespan is what a couple minutes after launch tops?
  
  That would have been an interesting statistic...
  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k5RqahhwTw8&list=PL0QrZvg7QIgpgVfKp7o0fFLREgrOBvasd&index=8&pp=iAQB

City of Heroes (20 year old game). As an NPC, I would be screwed, as a player character, it would be pretty sweet at for the first few days before the lack meaningful interactions and the constant "work" started to get to me.
- The game that almost ruined my marriage, lol.
  Those 8 hour task force runs aren't going to run themselves, honey!!
- Wow. Haven't played that since college.

I'd be a Starfleet Fleet Admiral in 2410, with a bunch of very OP starships under my command, so that would be pretty damn sweet!
- You have to realize that sto with its "to boldly kill, once again, what too many have killed before" is actually the mirror universe. So it would be only time until someone with more ships will take care of you.
  Maybe not so sweet after all...

Subnautica - I would be dead in minutes since I can't actually swim all that well in real life.
- Drowning is probably one of the least worst things that can happen to you in Subnautica.

Deep Rock Galactic. It would be terrifying, but with some upsides.
"It ain't a gun unless it weighs at least one hundred pounds!"
- Did I hear a rock and stone?
  At least you'll always have supportive comrades!

Helldivers2 vs bots on lv10... dead in seconds. pretty screwed.
- Luckily I just ran around my super destroyer to park it by the black hole, otherwise I'd be on a bug planet being launched back to my super destroyer by an impaler

Pokemon Go. I would be running from Pokemon I guess. Not too bad as for now I do have some resources, and the map is pretty good so everything would be where it is now.

Kerbal Space Program. So everything might be fine, or I might hit a mountain at mach 12, or I might be stuck on Moho forever hoping Matt Lowne joins Lemmy and can send the Blunderbirds to get me.

Deep Rock Galactic Galaxy's Finest!
I'm a greybeard with a crack crew but they get wreckless sometimes, and mining on Hoxxes is intrinsically dangerous. We don't always make it back.

Pokemon Emerald? So long as I'm not the protag, life is generally OK. Aside from Team Aqua/Magma and the whole "causing disasters to expand the sea/land", I should be OK.

AC Odyssey. I guess I'm Greek now
- Malaka!
- "This is exactly the same...well except for all the anal sex."
- Testikles would like to know your location

Modded Minecraft. It's going to depend entirely on whether I can still search the various wikis.
- There are 100% Minecraft modders who would figure out how to escape using some unfathomable redstone contraption.

Factorio, I'd probably survive and build a bunch of stuff. Oh, and try not to get eaten.

Ghost of Tsushima
I dont know shit about how to fight so unless I woke up as Jin with the fighting experience I'd be fucked

Ace Attorney (nostalgia). I'm not weird enough to be a witness, the perp, or the wrongfully accused. If I was the victim I'd obviously be screwed. If I was a defence attorney my clients would be screwed. If I was a judge everyone but me would be screwed. Payne seems to make an ok living as a prosecutor although he sucks at it, I could do that. Or I'd just be one of those weirdoes cheering in the gallery, or an unremarkable resident of Japanifornia, which would both be fine.

I'm playing Scorn right now. Fuuuuuuuuck thaaaaaat

I played Outer Wilds, so I'd be pretty cozy, for about 20 minutes.
- You get those 20 minutes a lot of times though!

FFXIV.
Would I be the Warrior of Light or some random scrub? Random scrub that world has godlike beings that just absolutely dominate your will just by existing, plus just massive monsters, and some terrifying organizations.
WoL, hooboy all the moments the story made me be quiet.
Another question is do I go as myself, or can I be a catgirl?

Metro 2033... as long as I'm underground and out of harm's way, I think I'll be able to survive

Football Manager. I would be fired, but everything else would stay the same.

Helldivers 2, I am FUCKED. Unless I was on a Super Destroyer on my way to Super Earth

Balatro. I think I'm okay? I don't even know what that would mean.
- Welcome to our newest Joker ¯(ツ)/¯
  
  Trapped Joker: Until it is permanently removed from the game, deactivates all other jokers in the game.

I played Noita, I'm utterly fucked no matter who or what I am
- Ooo ouch, you might beat the Helldivers 2 chap for fastest death in the thread.
  
  I played OSU, if I'm a circle I'll die even faster

Sudoku?
(I’m an old)

I'd be popping balloons like any good monkey should

Phantasy Star Online? I'd be in great shape! I could essentially play that game indefinitely.
- dam, I loved that game on the Dreamcast, the colors and the music. The small room aspect was fine because dam that game was something special when it was new.

Tears of the Kingdom. Not bad at all, as long as I stay in places populated by the more friendly creatures. The worst thing about being stuck there is the choice between living in Tarrey Town, Hateno, or Kakariko. I could live a pretty comfortable life growing swift carrots or fortified pumpkins.
- I'd opt for Tarrey Town because I live near a place called Tarrey Town IRL and am sentimental like that, plus getting to build my own place instead of hoping I just became link and can take his and Zelda's house in Hateno.
  
  Y'all sleeping on Lurelin Village.

Guild Wars 2. It's not so bad. Just hang out in one of the cities. Learn some magic.

Majora's Mask. I'm dead in 3 days.

Bloons TD 6.
I guess I have to contribute to popping bloons... somehow??? Idk.

Rainworld. Yeah i'm screwed.

Dynasty Warriors 8: Empires; it would really depend on if I were an officer or not, and then if I had a name or not. Best case scenario I worm my way into an out of the way post in the Wei clan and hold one mantra in mind: "Do not pursue Lu Bu".

Civ VI? I dunno... maybe this is it?

Last game was Wordle..so.....

Timberborn. Humans died out and beavers are now the dominant species. So, I guess it could be worse..

FFXIV. I'll probably go to one of the cities to work as farmer or something like that. Doesn't look like they have a need for programmer there.

TOTK. If I was a random villager I'd probably be OK.
If I was Link I'd die to the first red Bokoblin I encountered.
If I was Ganondorf I'd be twiddling my thumbs waiting as Link got sidetracked by side questing and "hey I bet there's something cool at the top of this cliff".

Mine is Hearthstone, so my life basically just becomes Yu-Gi-Oh? I have to wander around Azeroth getting challenged by weirdos to increasingly elaborate children's card game battles?
I typically make high legend on ladder though, so I guess I'm okay with this life.

Elden Ring. Welp, at least I guess i revive on death now?

I would be in Mario Kart... pretty sure I would look for Yoshi or Birdo at the lockers after, if you know what I mean...

167 comments