I hate brioche buns!

You dislike brioche buns because they're greasy.

I dislike brioche buns because they're overused by chefs that don't know how to pair sweet bread with savoury meats.

We are not the same.

Thank you. Brioche buns are an abomination used by the fast food industry to trigger sugar reward signals and make their burgers just a bit more addictive. They’re not used with any good intentions whatsoever.
- Fast food doesn’t use brioche that I’m aware of
- BRIOCHE IS CAKE
- Don't let the Germans read that!
Po-tay-to! Boil em, mashed em, bake em into burger buns.

Because they're fucking delicious that's why

This luddite can go kick rocks. Brioche or bust
- I've heard potato buns are also good, though I've never had them myself.
- Wait, can we also accept pretzel? They're pretty good.
Fuckin' A.
Spot on sir.

Burgers are greasy, that doesn't bother me. Brioche buns are sweet and too thick, that's what bothers me.

Stop putting sugar in everything. I don't want a sweet Burger

Fuckin commie right here. Probably not even doing your part supporting big pharma by buying insulin. This guy probably puts less than two pumps of syrup is his morning coffee. I hope a bald eagle craps on your Chinese electric car guy.
- ~~God~~Corn save the ~~Queen~~God-Emperor!
- True communism is drinking Diet Coke instead of regular Coke.
- our Chinese electric car

Coincidence? I think not!! (https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/d752cab0-1559-42a0-bc7d-323fec3dabad.jpeg)

Potato buns are where it’s at. Light, soft, it lets the burger ingredients do the talking.

I feel personally attacked!

Besides, I actually opt not to coat them in butter, which means they are very much not greasy.

Most recipes tell you to smear melted butter on them right out the oven, but you don't have to.

Seriously, cinnamon rolls (at least the ones I make) are brioche and while the dough is pretty heavily butter reinforced, I wouldn't ever use greasy to describe them after baking even after frosting.

Brioche isn't supposed to be cloyingly sweet either, supposed to be subtle, I've done rolls like these from king Arthur, added sugar is 7.5% of flour.
You mean egg wash???
- No. That goes on before the oven.

I hated it at first, and when it really took off as the trendy thing at least here in my country I particularly hated it because they were outrageously sweet. It was like having a burger between 2 slices of cake, it sucked. I also felt there were textural things that just weren't right and I complained about the hipster takeover of good burger bread.

I've mellowed on it now, I think in part because they've actually changed. I think the commercially made ones used in burger places now seem to actually taste of bread and are only just a little sweet and the whole combo especially with lots of mustard works really nicely. They look beautiful and when they aren't super sweet they add a little something without being too cloying or distracting. I appreciate nice flavourful bread in a burger but ultimately it's a vehicle and brioche strikes a good balance between the awful grocery store bag of fluff burger buns and super hard chewy hipster sourdough or some weird, not round form factor bread that should really be a pita or a pizza. So long as they're toasted, they're all good and it grows on you. Which is fortunate as everybody seems to have decided that that's burger bread now so I'm glad I picked up the taste for it.

I also had the same thought on the greasiness but then I kind of discovered how much nicer the super greasy, drippy, messy kind of burgers are and once they're made like that with tons of juice and fat, they're so greasy and messy that no bread is going to save you from having completely greasy hands anyway so some negligible amount extra from the bun isn't all that worth worrying about. If it's one of those burgers with the tighter texture that's not quite so indulgent, maybe a bit drier, not as big a pattie then the bread is a lot more important and the Brioche is a less good option, especially as it's also greasy but otherwise, I've changed my tune on the brioche.

The fatter the buns, the more they block water, and thus the longer you have before the bottom bun gets soggy.

Yeah, but the move there is to sear the bun insides while making the patty.
How long is it taking you to eat your burger!?
- Honestly I hate people who put down burgers

I'm fine with a brioche bun, they're upper tier buns

But don't stack a load of stuff in there to the point the brioche disintegrates under the heft of it

That's why we have the pretzel bun

(Likewise, don't use a pretzel bun if you're not gonna load it up, that bun needs grease for balance)

Yes! Pretzel buns are the superior bun for holding a burger in your hands. Definitely needs moisture from the other ingredients though. Also they have great flavor. I’m personally not particularly fond of the overly sweet brioche buns.
Give me pretzel buns (with large grains of salt) or give me death!

Let them eat brioche!

When did Ciabatta buns go out of vogue?

I adore ciabatta, but it's way too chewy to make a good burger bun
- The light crispy stuff though. It's still common in NZ. Love it.
Hard bread with hard ingredients (like meat chunks or salami), soft bread with soft ingredients (like egg salad). I'd call a burger medium soft, and ciabatta is too hard for that
- I guess it's not the Ciabatta I know. Light on the inside, crispy on the outside.

Completely agree

That's not the point of burgers in buns.

I hope this helps.

(OP imagining the invention of the hamburger)

"HOW EVER CAN WE EAT THIS GLISTENING PUCK OF MEAT WITHOUT GETTING OUR HANDS ALL GREASY?!"
- The sandwich was created* by Lord Sandwich in the 18th century when he wanted to gamble and eat at the same time without having his hands dirty
  
  The story sounds a lot like the gary chess meme but it is more true
  
  *well technically by his butler and it is not verifiable if he was the first but at least the name comes from there

It's an entirely different level of mess you'd get on your hands eating a burger without a bun vs with a brioche bun. And anyhow, how are you getting all the fixins to stay in place without a bun? THAT is the primary purpose of the bun, IMO.

He's not against buns, he's against brioche buns
- I realize that, but his objection is predicated on the "entire point" of a bun being to avoid greasy hands. I contend that is not the entire point, and that the brioche bun is not inferior with regard to the "entire point" of a bun.
Also, because a burger without a bun is like having a sandwich without the bread.

I love them because of a sesame allergy! Worry free brioche for the me! :)

Bun's not meat nor cheese.

You get burgers which are possible to eat with hands?

Truth. They’re so overstuffed and sloppy they have to put a stake through the middle to hold it together, and you end up eating it with a knife and fork.
- Used to be a place near me that had a knife in the middle so you could cut it in half. Top tier burger, but if it were any taller I wouldn't be able to eat it properly

I prefer this or this over this a thousand times.

So you know brioche buns should be ever so slightly sticky, but a sweet sticky, right?

Not to ruin your favourite burger place but maybe you should just buy some buns from a bakers and then see what they're like fresh.

At the moment there are two options. You can't quite tell the difference between brioche sticky and greasy sticky or your burger place manages to get grease all over your buns.

How good are they overall? Do you want to know the answer?

Edit: Damn it came to me just too late. At the moment you're stuck in Heisenberg's buns. Do you want to resolve that?

You’re right. The “shininess” of a brioche is from the egg wash.