Voluntary Mandatory rule

this has to be satire

One would hope that a message THAT tone deaf wouldn't have even made it to the keyboard before realizing what a catastrophically bad idea it was.
there's a lot of stupid, ignorant assholes running small businesses all over the place that think they own their employees and can boss them 24/7. this could totally be a legit posting somewhere.

if you want me answering my phone 24/7, you're paying me 24/7--and providing the phone you want me to answer.
- I've seen shit like this working in an understaffed restaurant. It was understaffed because the management decided to drug test and most of the staff was let go. Then whined the entire time about people unable to cover shifts and pulled shit like this. I promptly left after coming back from being sick.
Yes, of course there are plenty of workplaces this bad, but they still wouldn't write "voluntary mandatory"
- After meeting many a middle manager, I can say with absolute certainty that they would write something like this.
This is basically how Golden Corral works their staff

I hope this is just one of those fake rage bait signs

It is

Required to be by the phone = on the clock. This will be a lot of overtime for everyone.

This is incorrect in most states.

Employers can require an employee to be “on-call” and available to work on an emergency or as-needed basis. Employers are generally not required to pay employees who are “on-call,” unless the employee is actually called to duty. However, if an employer places significant restrictions on how an employee spends their time while on-call, this time may need to be compensated as hours worked.

The tenth circuit of appeals came up with this test to determine if the employers restriction constitutes on call hours as hours worked.

Where the employee is not required to remain on the employer's premises, the critical inquiry is whether the employee is able to use the time effectively for his or her own purposes. Here, the report requirement necessarily entailed that the employee could not drink alcohol, must be able to dress in uniform, and must be able to travel to the airport, park, and pass through security within one hour of a call. She was not able to make or attend doctors' appointments for herself or her children, do her weekly shopping, nor go on field trips with her children. The court compared these circumstances with many FLSA cases presenting similar, or even more restrictive, circumstances involving availability by pager, inability to drink alcohol, and ability to report within 30 minutes or one hour. In the FLSA cases, it was determined that the employees' activities were not so curtailed as to require the on-call time to be considered compensable working time. The court followed this precedent.

Depending on the country/state that could obligate the company to pay for devices if they’re going to require they have them.

Not to mention possible “on call” pay could apply as well.

I wonder if people who make these things (if real) even think of throwing them by HR or some professional who could help them avoid the legal implications of these kinds of things.

This is probably by some small time business owner who never heard of HR, since preventing this liable shit is exactly HR's job.

Come on guys, you're all falling for obvious bait.

- https://tenor.com/Hgqd.gif
- Some people see a fishing line in the water and shout "this is bait!"
  
  But I only see a pretty little neon snack.
It's basically all of the content on r/antiwork after that community decided to throw itself off the golden gate bridge over an awkward interview that didn't even fucking matter, on Fox "news" of all places
- People are still bleating about that interview like it was death of all. Talk about writing the enemy's propaganda for them...
Yeah, this is a pretty sad bait for Internet points. The AI BOTs are getting lazy.

Official company policy being printed and posted on the refrigerator... totally legit. SMH
Totally. Pretty sure it would be illegal of an employer to ask this here in the UK, probably the US too.
- Illegal? Yes.
  
  Stops businesses from doing this kind of BS? No.
  
  Also, is this a legit thing posted at a legit workplace? Probably not.

Tell me you live in America without saying you live in America…

because of corn flakes I have no foreskin
- Cornflakes took your foreskin? Sounds like a slam dunk case against Kellogg

Civilized countries make this shit illegal.

Some some people may not believe this shit is actually ilegal in mexico. There's a limited list of cases where firing an employee is actually justified, without obligations for the employer. Otherwise you're entitled to a 3month compensation.

There are, of course, employers who decide to challenge this and drag payments, but still...
- There's a very large difference between something being illegal and the crime being enforced, but legally recognizing that it's illegal goes a long way, even if only because people radicalize easily when they see the boss/company owner blatantly committing crimes.

Good rage bait, made me rage

Today my son is born. As I sit the waiting room, I ponder "How can I best serve the company?"

You will be a great asset to the company. Great great asset to the company
- YOUR WORK IS INVALUABLE TO THE COMPANY
Go team!
The true question would be: "how can your son best serve the company"? He has more years ahead of him that can be spent in servitude than you, so you are already obsolete.

'...voluntary mandatory shift coverage.'

Someone should be gifted a dictionary for Supervisor Appreciation Day.

I totally understand the overall ridiculousness of this, but I suspect that "mandatory" and "voluntary" apply to 2 different people in this case. Person 1 has a "mandatory shift" and person 2 is supposed to voluntarily cover that person's mandatory shift.
- But it is mandatory because they get fired for not doing it.

This is the kinda job I like to get just to fuck with management.

I need your drive, man. I work at a university. People are mostly nice, but I still get annoyed with it.
- Nah, you gotta pull this shit as a part timer unless you're already retired/independently wealthy. Don't fuck with your actual career or income.

"How can I best serve the company" 🤮

A thought I had not once in my entire work life

"sorry boss. I can beat serve the company by making sure I'm well rested for my normal, scheduled shifts. Can't come in."
- This but unironically
Tell me you took a night course in business without telling me

Ahh yes, voluntary mandatory, just like life imprisonment death sentence.

"voluntary mandatory"

Me thinks they don’t know the meaning of voluntary.

7/10 meme, I got a chuckle when I saw “mandatory voluntary “

Good luck with keeping people hired 🙂

They can fuck off.

Pour one out this Memorial day for anyone stuck working for such a massive powertripping cunt as the one that wrote this.

I bet they're also the type to loudly exclaim "no one wants to work anymore" when no one answers their calls at 4 in the morning.

Your employer wants you to be in a mindset of scarcity and fear.

That way, he can have leverage over you and easily control you.

You should never allow it.

If you're being intimidated for termination, look for another job and make it easier for him to fire you.

Show him that have options and don't care.

I got a job at Subway when leaving the army, mostly out of boredom. Told them the only day I cannot come in is Thursdays, that’s when I go into the VA for my deployment issues. Put that is writing, got hired. They also had something like this where you have to always be on call. They called my on Thursday in the middle of a counseling session, so on Friday I was fired.

Turns out, the FAFO is strong with this one. The VA asked if I put it in writing, “Yes, here is the email”. Several weeks later the fine leveraged against the owner was so high she had to sell the business. She called me, asking when I am coming back in (I could tell it was being recorded, could hear the static) and I laughed and told her you can’t record me, and you fired me, then hung up.

Turns out shitcanning veterans who just got back from a deployment during the height of “we all love Murica!” gets you zero sympathy from anyone.
- Damn, that's crazy, man.
  
  Hope it goes well for you!

The appropriate answer to that is the full staff making a chorus and singing to the bosses "FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUU! WE'RE LEEEEAVING!"

Whoever wrote that can go fuck themselves with a 40-grit sandpaper dildo made from a red hot curling iron.

On call rules AND on call pay, or STFU. Your staffing problem isn't my problem and I can contact legal authorities if you do write me up for having my phone off or just not coming in.

Sounds like the company needs to increase its bus factor. Luckily, I can help the company by not doing any of this nonsense, to pressure execs into hiring more staff so that the team is robust enough to weather a catastrophe.