Microplastics found in every human testicle in study

So the pee isn't stored in the balls, but the microplastics are
- There's microplastics in your urine too.
  
  Wait so microplastics in one ball, pee in the other?
- So is RoundUp according to an article I read a few days ago.
- PVC is stored in the balls.

- Definitely the signs of a healthy civilization

They say every, but no one's checked mine yet.
- Not even in the Mayo clinic?
  
  They stayed above the waist.
  
  They're calling but Dr. Ham on 3 so hold the Mayo
- You are a heavy sleeper.
  
  Is it too much to ask for them to wait until I'm awake until they play with my balls?
- Every tested testi. Testis of non-testee testi'd are not tested.
- They said "every testicle in study."
  Yours were not in the study.
  
  Can you prove it?
- As far as you know.
- Fine. Please urinate into a coffee mug. Someone will be by soon to collect the sample...
  
  Pee is stored in the balls.

We've obviously seen a lot of studies about the proliferation of microplastics. They seem to be in practically everything and everyone to an almost cellular level. Are there any modern studies or even just hypotheses for what the actual effects are? Has it just not been long enough for us to gather data?
- The problem might be that if they're everywhere there's no control group without them, so it's hard to say if an effect is actually caused by microplastics or not.
  
  In a laboratory setting, presumably you could makeq conditions clean enough to grow a cell culture that is free from micro plastics. But that isn't going to tell you much about systemic effects like in an organ or body.
  Maybe you could breed mice in a clean room. Not sure what the generational half life of microplastics is..
  The alternative you could probably test is levels of Microplastics. Grow a number of colonies with varying levels of microplastics and compare between them.
- Yes. Dr Shanna Swan wrote a book about it called Countdown. She's proven that it is having a direct impact on our reproductive system as an endocrine disruptor.
  
  Eh, humanity is overrated anyway. I'm not an extinctionist, but if we wipe ourselves out that would pretty funny and appropriate.
  
  The only way to improve the climate is to dramatically decrease the human population. If plastics are good at it, I say USE MORE PLASTICS!!!
- The problem is that plastics are not stable. They are constantly breaking down and releasing an array of chemicals in the process. Great, now they’re inside us too. Oh. They’re inside everything else too so yay?
  
  Microplastics are midi-chlorian without the Force. They connect us to all that lives.
  
  So an issue of correlation and causality.
  There are a lot of gastro surgeons and specialists that are running long term studies on increased stomach and colon cancer rates in relation to microplastics. A few of them have come out and started recommending colonoscopies starting at 40 instead of 50.

Big oil has literally attacked our nuts.
- Big oil literally attacking ~~our~~ deez nuts.
  
  ~~Goteeem~~ Gotusss

This is true. I had mine tested, and there was one of my testicles that had way more microplastics than the other two.

So should i recycle my sperm instead of flushing it?
- You can probably use it in a 3d printer
  
  Print my own baby. Life starts at boot up!
  
  What did you just call my wife???
- I laughed so hard at this. That's clever. Thank you. xD
- No, you just wash it, ship it to Cheapistan and let them throw it in the sea.
  
  They burn it nowadays
- Knuckle Children deserve long & fruitful lives!
  PERSONHOOD FOR KNUCKLE CHILDREN NOW!!
  
  So recycle, gotcha.
- It’s now a type of Nerf ammo.

So can we call them plasticles now?
- These were the testicles, here are the resulticles.
- When they're made of plastic, they're called nuticles.

Between the microplastics, the pfoas and other fluorine based stuff from 3M, and the lead in fuel that airplanes are still allowed to use, and the lack of a more natural diet, it's no wonder we're all so screwed up.
- Wait, what?
  lead in fuel that airplanes are still allowed to use
  Oh shit.
  
  It's worse than "allowed" to use, in the US it's more like "required to use". Newer engines that work on unleaded gas exist, and even some older engines are perfectly capable on unleaded gas. However, the FAA has to test and approve each part that goes on an airplane, and it's a ton of work to do that for every type of airplane engine. Unless the government subsidized such testing and paid for unleaded fuel tanks to be installed all over the country, it's unlikely to change anytime soon.
  
  No. No no, the chem trail people cannot be right. This is the worst day. (So far!)
- well that and being told for your entire life that you could be anything you want and do anything with your life that you chose as long as you worked hard (oh, and voted for tax cuts for the rich).
- People were using lead in day to day life for thousands of years.
  
  For thousands of years it wasn't aerosolized. It isn't even debated anymore. It's a known and accepted fact that it has made people dumber.
  
  So?

We really have sacrificed our species atop the fire of industry.
- This is why we've never seen or heard aliens out in the universe. Every civilization burns itself out faster than they can solve long distance space travel. Maybe the Great Filter is just the inherent nature of sentient beings. It would make me feel better to know that every other civilization to ever exist in the universe also destroyed itself in this manner, but maybe we are a special level of stupid.
  
  TIL about the Great Filter. Thanks for the rabbit hole!
- Got us to the moon in a relative jiffy though. Makes you wonder what majority of industrialized life ever burns itself out vs external circumstances.
  
  We've been pretty up ourselves about it though, a blank flag waving on the moon will be cold comfort for the burning remains of our civilisation. I could imagine this being the inevitable end to an intelligent species, smart enough to destroy itself but dumb enough to destroy itself.

If you can't spread your sperm, spread awareness about microplastics.

Balls of plastic. Descended from balls of steel 💪
- They just don’t make em like they used to

Yeah suck out all of my microplastics stepsister 😏
- Stepsister: Huh, it's not the only thing micro....
- Hey girl, want that face covered in microplastics?

Scientists say discovery may be linked to decades-long decline in sperm counts in men around the world
This is no issue to me, as someone who doesn't prioritize having sex and has no intent to bring children into this awful world.
- Yeah same, but I worry about all the other affects like cancers, other mutations, some third horrible thing...
  
  Yeah I have no doubt all kinds of weird cancers and degenerative diseases are going to be rampant in 50 or so years.
  Plastics breaking down and leeching into everything is going to make climate change look like leaded gas/paint.
- I'm gay and I don't want to have kids. This world is horrific.
- It's an issue if it accelerates the removal of abortion rights. Old crotchety white men afraid they'll stop having heirs
  
  They will die and things will go back to normal.
- I wish I had your self-confidence! It would maybe help me get laid 😵

Microplastics, son! 💪
- ingredients, recipe for

What I love about this is the canceling out of the unholy intersection of ideas in the Republican Party of forced birth and environmental deregulation.
All the evil billionaires need a plethora of desperate people so the veil of the Christian sanctity of life thing gets trotted out and behind the scenes they want maximum profit so they tear down any limit or mitigation of the collateral damage their industries cause, and wouldn’t you know it: turns out you can’t have both things. Poetic justice, really. Almost a valid argument for the existence of an Illuvitar like being.

Oh yeah? Well, study thi...oh...

Jokes on you, I don't have testicles.
- I have productionicles
  
  You have testicles too, just some people also have producionicles
  (That was a hilarious wordplay by you)
- The Chosen One

The human testicles had a plastic concentration almost three times higher than that found in the dog testes: 330 micrograms per gram of tissue compared with 123 micrograms. Polyethylene, used in plastic bags and bottles, was the most common microplastic found, followed by PVC.
So my balls are to 1/3 made of plastic?
- Ummm there are 1,000,000 micrograms in a gram so 330 micrograms per gram is 0.033% not 33%.
  But I imagine Lance Armstrong is averaging about 50% so who knows.
- Yours, sure.

Wait. Both left and right?
- Even the center one?

Are they all speckled & colorful like in that thumbnail stock photo?
- The stock photo is of plastic pieces that are too big to be considered microplastics
  The microplastics are probably mostly colorless/white
  
  Aww, was kinda hoping that at least there'd be a party in my balls.

Where’s a good place to buy organic testicles then?
- I heard the rocky mountains are good at least once you get past all the oysters
  
  Thanks! I’ll have to see if there’s a distributor in my area.

If they looked all colorful like confetti when it came out like in the pic I might be ok with it lol
- I want the optional rainbow cum output too. Tired of Factory White
  
  Wait, that's not how gay men jizz?
  That's... disappointing.
- I'd prefer it to be not quite as spiky though.

I have macro plastics in mine

Its all in the way we wrap it, all in the way we wrap it

Rubber balls and liquor.
- Our dicks are now reclassified as Nerf Guns.
  
  Can mine be the BallZooka? It shot like 30 balls in 10 seconds.

Is that how polyester girls are created?
- Barbie girls man. It was right there for the taking.
  
  They're both OK tracks.
  Polyester girl is a bit more adult oriented compared to barbie girl.

guess i gotta take them off then
- I'm gettin mine removed in 3 weeks
  
  hell yea rid yourself of those micro plastics
  
  Good for you! I still have mine, but they were disconnected a few years back, much happier with them now and I hope you will be too

https://widecalculator.com/MicroplasticsinTesticlesCalculator.html

Wingus and the ping pong boys attack again

All by design. The powers that be want to limit the world population. Slow kill is a tool.
BTW, in testicles like sperm? Or somehow melded to the organs?
- Which is why reproductive rights are being stripped away? Can’t have it both ways.
  
  Live in the U.S.?
  Check all the ingredients of everything you eat and drink. You bathe with, you wash dishes with, you wash clothes with, you use for lawn care etc.. Even medications are forms of slow kill. All of which is approved by governing bodies like the FDA.

If the researchers are pretty, I would like to have my testicles in that study.