12mo ago

I have chronic sleeping problems therefore I love(d) taking naps but waking up afterwards is absolute hell. What should I do? Edit: I have found a short-term solution

I am currently struggling heavily with depression. Which impacts my quality of sleep. Sleep now has never been a talent of mine. So I generally make up for it by napping. I used to absolutely love it. Both the initial and the waking up (feeling well rested). But lately the waking up part is getting more and more difficult. It then feels like someone hung an anchor on my mental health. I am at that point in absolute disarray and so depressed it makes me feel anxious it's so bad.

This may be above lemmy's pay grade but still here goes. Should I stop taking naps? Also I'm thinking of taking antidepressants, anyone here have any experience?

Edit: Thank you all for the replies. I currently in talks with a therapist about taking antidepressants. For the mean time I have found that if when I wake up from a nap and just immediately get out of bed and go into the other room. It helps alleviate the "depressional" fall out that would normally follow.

42 comments

Constant urges to nap and trouble getting up afterwards are both common (but in no way definitive) symptoms of depression. Definitely above Lemmy's pay grade - you need to talk to a doctor/therapist. Absolutely do not take antidepressants without consulting them.
- They're also common symptoms of Apnea which is definitely something you should look at getting tested for!

Consider a sleep study. I found out I have sleep apnea this way, and did a follow up study with a CPAP machine where I just felt 100x better rested than usual. Ask your doctor for a referral.

Definitely seek professional help as others have suggested, but in the meantime, try to sleep in increments of about an hour and a half. 7 and a half is a good target. It'll ensure you wake up out of light sleep and not during deep sleep which is super rough. If you take a nap, an hour to an hour and a half should be the max. Anything beyond that will have you groggy for a while.
- Yep, and notably - add 15 minutes, because that's about how long it takes to fall asleep on average. You can use sleepyti.me as a calculator if you're lazy like me and want to know when to go to bed

I like short coffee naps. It makes it really easy to get up afterwards. I’d only recommend it if you are able to fall asleep almost instantly though.
Basically you chug a cup of coffee and then nap, setting an alarm for 20-30m. Once you get woken up the coffee will be mostly in your system and you’ll feel really refreshed.
- I do a 6-10 minute nap, it doesn't even feel long enough, but it's enough to feel more alert and not mess up sleep later that night.
- I combine it with a light alarm. I have smart lights that I have hooked up to an automation. The automation turns off the lights, sets an alarm for 25 minutes, and turns the lights back on at 24 minutes. That gives me a bit more of a slide into wakefulness.
  I've also taken to drinking tea throughout the day for a steady drip of caffeine. In the morning I brew up a big pot, then stick it in an insulated carafe to stay hot for the day. I've found it's easier on my body than coffee.
  
  Nice yeah coffee isn’t always the play for me either for that reason. I like Yerba mate and white/green tea too

may be worth talking to your doctor about testing for sleep apnea or other sleep disorders
i've had bad sleep all my life and recently got tested. turns out i have nothing diagnosable but at least now i know it's a skill issue i guess lol
raising the head of my bed helped somewhat as i have mild acid reflux. it's as simple as shoving some pillows and/or old clothes under the top third of your mattress so worth a try, nothing to lose.
best of luck fellow sleepyhead

I am bi-polar. After positive changes in my life, I was living medication-free. During 2020, I resisted admitting to myself that I was horribly depressed because I didn't want it to be real. When I finally got back on an anti-depressant, I could have kicked my own ass for waiting so long. See a doctor now. Depression can be treated and you might not need the meds forever. Get help.
My bi-polar also causes sleep issues. I take a medication for that, too. You might need the same. But lest you think I think pills are the answer to all problems, first stop taking naps and try to get more exercise to help with sleep.
But see someone about your depression. There're solutions. Depression is the worst hell and it isn't required.

I was in similar situation, where I would sleep off daytime, then it messed up my sleep schedule for years. I got better once I realized that I am a zombie in that state. I advise going for a walk. Try to go a bit further every day. Just stop outside, it's funny to go home instantly, so have to walk for a minute. The this has two benefits - cardio on fresh air is good for physical health and makes you tired for the night, and for me it brought relief from mental pressure and gave space that I am safe to think about difficult stuff. There is something in act of moving that help with the head. It's also nice anchor - you are in control of his much you walk, where you walk, just do it, like guy from memes.
Be kind to yourself <3

I don't have advice, but I hear you, I see you, and I love you. ❤️

If you're struggling heavily with depression, you should definitely speak to your doctor. Antidepressants are a great measure to make things a bit more manageable while you get things back on track, get therapy, etc.
The napping during the day is almost certainly feeding back into worse night time sleep, which makes you need daytime naps, etc. I would do everything in your power to not only stop taking daytime naps, but also to establish a consistent sleep routine and bedtime ritual. You can essentially train your body to know it is bedtime, and a bedtime routine goes a long way with that. Pick a time you're going to go to sleep every day (including weekends) and a time you're going to wake up (and be awake) every day, including weekends. Treat them as law (within reason) and you should find it easier and easier to feel sleepy and get to sleep.
Consider using a sleep app (like sleep for android). It tracks your motion while you sleep, and can detect (roughly) your sleep cycles, as well as when you're awake. If you set an alarm with a "smart period"(which you decide upon, mine is half an hour) for the time you have decided to wake you up, it will track your position in your sleep cycle and try to wake you up when you're at your lightest sleep, which improves how easy it is to wake up and feel rested.
I know everyone always says "no screens before bed" but like yeah, actually try to get away from screens before bed. Most things we do on screens are very stimulating, which keeps your brain in a more awake, alert state. If you "switch off" an hour before your decided upon bedtime, and go about your bedtime routine, you may find sleep comes a lot easier.
Something that helps me a lot as well with sleep is something I learned from an ex-army chap. While you're lying down to sleep, find your comfortable position, and then, starting with your tongue (which is actually the most important to focus on in my experience) relax each muscle one by one. I find if I don't think about it, my tongue will be basically glued to the roof of my mouth and under pressure. Relax your tongue, then your eyes, your brow, cheeks, face, mouth/lips, neck, shoulders, upper arms, lower arms, hands and fingers, your chest and back, then your lower back, unclench your butt (crass but necessary), your upper legs, lower legs, and feet. As you relax each one, just take inventory and make sure the ones you already relaxed are still relaxed, especially your tongue. If you're finding it hard to "manually" relax a muscle, tense it really hard for 5-10 seconds and then release, it should be easier to just let it relax. This technique is fucking magic I swear to you.
Best of luck to you, internet stranger, and good luck with your mental health journey.

Usually the recommendation is to take short, no longer than 30 minutes naps. Supposedly, after 30 minutes you go into deep sleep and waking up will make you feel tired. I haven't reviewed the scientific validity of the claims, but it has always worked for me.
- What works for me is: lay down and relax, close your eyes, but try to not fall asleep, think about stuff you did, about stuff you want to do, whatever, just don't fall asleep. If you manage to maintain a good balance between not relaxing too much and not stressing too much (that's the tricky part), you'll stay in a semi-awake state. Rest like this for 20-30 minutes and you should feel better
  
  That's an intriguing idea.
  It probably explains why napping works for me - that little bastard in my head pulling the strings takes forever to sit down and shut up, so I kind of nap like this already. It takes most of 20 minutes before he sits down, I barely fall asleep and my alarm goes off.
- Yep. Either take a 15 or 25 minute nap, or go for the full sleep cycle of about 1-1,5 hours.

I have a sleep disorder. I can no longer nap, have alcohol (at all), caffeine after 9am, and so on.
I also love napping and have napped my entire life when possible until recently.
Since I can't nap anymore without ruining my sleep I now sit or lay quietly with my eyes closed and just rest. I set an alarm for 5-10 minutes and snooze for a few minutes over and over until I "get up". I never really fall asleep so (reluctantly) ending this rest period is not that hard.
This doesn't give you that same rested feeling but I can destress, lower anxiety, and so on. This absolutely has led to me sleeping more deeply at night, getting drowsy before bed, etc.
A little like meditation but mostly just taking a break.

Read up on sleep cycles and how long your body likes to nap! If you wake up from deep sleep you are groggy for a long time after.
I routinely get hammered till late but as long as I sleep 3, 4.5, 6 hours specifically, I'm fine. Even if I have 4 hours ahead of me, I wake myself up after 3 to snooze and not go into a deep sleep.
There's a similar timing for naps.
Edit: I'm 35, that probably matters in context

If you are looking for a scientific approach try listening to Andrew Huberman's 6-part series all about sleep with Dr Matt Walker.
Link to episode 1 on youtube, its also on Spotify: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OBCwiPPfEU
Huberman's Sleep Toolkit: https://www.hubermanlab.com/newsletter/toolkit-for-sleep
- Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  https://www.piped.video/watch?v=-OBCwiPPfEU
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

I'm not an expert, but I think you should consider talking with a therapist about it. Talking to someone can be a great way to work through things and feel better. They can offer a listening ear and different perspectives.
Regarding the sleep, consistency is quite important. Your body operates on a biological schedule and is important to your health. During the day try spending some time outdoors, normalize your meals times and limit coffee in the afternoon. Also avoid all-nighter and at late night reduce lighting and (this one is hard for me too) avoiding to use electronic devices (phone, pc, tv, ecc) during bed time.

Regarding antidepressants: I was on them for a number of years and I'd say they're a stopgap to keep you surviving until you can finally tackle the problem once and for all with something therapy. They make you feel very grey, assuming there's no side-effects, which can be anywhere between mildly amusing to headwrecking. But of course, grey is lighter than black, and on the other hand, I've known people who've been taking antidepressants for decades. I'm ridiculously self-disciplined so I often find it relatively easy to rationalise ruminations away but some aren't so lucky. So I agree with the others saying you should ask a doctor about it. I spoke to my GP about it to begin with.
- I'm currently on antidepressants for like, my 7th year? And I was recently pointed to some pretty damning studies on the long term effects. definitely use them as a stopgap, but do whatever work you need to do to address the core issue(s) so you can get off them. Get therapy, establish support networks, work on your tools for dealing with episodes, etc. Then get off them, with your doctors guidance. (Not pointed at you, just commenting in light of what you mentioned about long term use)
  
  Yes, understood!

I learned this one from CGP Grey: Caffeine Naps. Drink a cup of coffee right before you nap. When you wake up, you dont feel groggy because of the caffeine
- I use a rube goldberg machine to drop freshly-ground adderall into my nostrils about ten minutes before I need to wake up

Are you on any medication?
I ask because SSRIs completely paralyzed me and made me sleep a lot.

Try to time your naps so that you are waking up at the correct part of your sleep cycle... I think the average time of a full cycle is ~90 min for most people, so if you set an alarm for 1.5 or 3 hours (or any other increment of 90 min) it shouldn't feel as bad to wake up.
Same thing goes for sleeping at night as well.

Have you tried any sleeping meds? Or at least sleeping tea?
Are you familiar with the sleeping cycles? If you wake up during the wrong part you'll feel like trash. You can set an alarm to avoid that. There's also devices that can detect when you fall asleep and then take care of that for you.
Further, how's your sleep hygiene? Ear plugs? Good curtains? Blue light filter on your phone?
It can also help to do a lot of sport. And I mean 2 or 3 times a day. And if your rythm is screwed just skip a night.
Further you'll want focus on reducing anxiety and working on mental health. I can recommend mindfulness.

Just as a quick hope-it-works because it's easy, try drinking a glass of water with just a tiny amount of sugar and salt (like literally you should not be able to taste it, should just taste slightly fishy) before your nap.
I'm with the others on seeing a therapist, though, and first-round antidepressants have had huge positive effects in my personal experience, so it's not necessarily going to be this long mind warping journey that I think people are scared to start sometimes.
- What's the thinking behind the sugar-salt water?
  
  It helps make sure it's absorbed so you don't have to pee right away. If you've just eaten you don't have to

When I started having trouble sleeping because of work/stress I was able to commute to work by bicycle, which ended up being a 1h 25m ish ride most days. Cured my stress, got me ready for the day and as soon as i shut my eyes i was fast asleep.
I aso cut way down on alcohol to the weekends or 1 night a week.
Now im living a wayyyyyyy less stressful lifestyle & so my exercise routine is nothing, so sometimes I have an edible and doze right off.
Most days though, we sleep 6.5hrs, wake up, morning routine, a couple hours of work, then lunch/siesta (1.5, 2hrs), evening work & then home for bed.
Also have battled depression so there is a myriad of choices you can make, but routines definitely help.

Take some vitamin D.
- That's one hell of a pickup line?
  /s
  
  Hahahaha, smart to add the /s
- Not sure why you're being downvoted.
  Swedish(?) studies show probably 86%+ of people are D deficient, and most significantly deficient. And low D causes all sorts of dysfunction. (For example IIRC, it has an important role in glucose metabolism, which affects everything).
  We just don't go outside as much as we need to.
  Only takes minutes a day in most locales, and don't need a lot of skin exposed.
  There's an app (definitely on Android, but think it's also on iOS) called D-minder to find the time of day you can get proper exposure for your body to produce D.
  Supplements can help, but they fall short of the effectiveness of sun exposure.

Become an uber driver. I get to make my own schedule, and I don’t use alarm clocks any more. If I need to sleep, I just set the car on autopilot and the uber app to auto-accept rides, and when I wake up I’ve got money.

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