1y ago

Why do companies think this sort of thing is at all helpful or informative?

From the about page here:

As you can see, it's an 'about' page, so you're supposed to learn about the company. There is plenty more corporate bullshit language on the page, but those were the worst parts. Can you figure out what those services, if they even are services, are from that?

(I'm sort of mildly infuriated for a friend who showed me this website because the place where they work is trying to find a company that does market research and it's his job to find the company.)

14 comments

I used to work in the adtech industry so allow me to translate:
Metrixlab buys data from harvesters and uses some algorithm to tell companies where to put product placements. I don't know why they mention e-commerce because Amazon killed that industry.
Harris Interactive makes ad content. All that shit about "consumer intelligence" and "simplifies intricate decision-making" is about using ads to get people to make emotional rather than rational decisions.
GutCheck is probably behind a lot of astroturfing of brands on websites. That's why they're bringing brands "closer to authentic, contextualized human experiences."
KuRunData is sifting through all WeChat data to gather information about companies.
- I am very impressed.
- Wait... the marketing BS actually means stuff?
  
  Yes, but it's like homeopathic medicine. It's so diluted that it barely means anything at all.

It's basically marketing people sniffing each other's butts. To lay people (like you and I) the statements in the screenshots are vacuous, vague walls of useless babble. But to marketing people they are examples of how these companies can help you shape bullshit that dazzles C-suite executives and other senior business managers - they kinda of people who have the power to sign vendor contracts, but don't usually have the insight to see past this kind of nonsense.

This is not about being useful or facts. These are just pseudo-magic words that make managers feel that they have accomplished something.
While they haven't.

it's part empty marketing fluff and part SEO

They might also be trying to hide how utterly mundane what they actually do is.
- They are utterly mundane. The dirty secret of the ad tech industry is that while they're collecting all kinds of data, targeting ads has never been shown to be more effective than just making a good ad. Conversion rates are terrible unless they use extremely creepy amounts of targeting that would immediately get them investigated.
  
  The day I see an ad that peddles something I want is the day the moon falls out of the sky.
- They all just make your website look pretty if I'm cutting though the BS correctly.

Perfect! I've been looking for a company with comprehensive proficiency and cutting edge innovation!
Now I just need to find a use for those things.

They all forgot to add "making the world a better place through...." And then continue with the marketing bs

This looks like the worthless spooge at the top of every job advert.
Look. I don't give a flying as to whether your company is a 'top employer' or 'leading the region in paper sales'; or whatever. That makes absolutely nothing for value to the job seeker just hoping to confirm it's not phone sex.
I liked the Motion Recruitment ads, for what it's worth: "Widgetron designs 13-tooth stepdown wormgears. They need a sysadmin to join a team running 300:1 rhel9 with mgmtConfig automation who can run with the upgrade. They're offering c$115k. 15 days + 1day/3yr and avoidable standby. union. " Just facts and terms so the applicant can skim and filter properly.
I don't know whether it's a nerd thing, but the flowery onanist junk isn't any use to us.

14 comments