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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

robocall @lemmy.world

1y ago

bonus if she's real

69 comments

Mine is
Consenting adult
- Preferably human
  
  And breathing would be nice
  
  I think sapience is a prerequisite to consent, so humans would be the only qualified candidate (native to earth at least)
  
  Elven women grumble on the sidelines
  
  Holup

Now, I don't want to be too picky, but her being alive would be nice.
- Hi mom, hi dad! Meet my gf [redacted]!
  whispering
  Yes, she's a little bit dug up corpse, but don't say that around her: she's kinda sensitive about it.
  (Stolen from a random video/podcast)
  
  I also get upset when people say i look like a corpse,
  Just because i am one doesn't mean you have to constantly point it out!
- I mean, alive, consenting age, not Intellectually disable, not in a coma.. also, we all know can"t be fat

(optional)
- instance checks out

Not even that. If they are just feminine thats enough for me
- furries have entered the chat

Female (optional)

Negotiable...

-ish

Too bad you're cutting off half of human population! ;-)
- Yeah op got no chance

And girls have the opposite problem. Too many guys out there who are interested, but no way to know which ones are good.
- Being a straight man looking for a partner is like dying of thirst in a desert.
  Being a straight woman looking for a partner is like dying of thirst at sea.
  
  Is it because sea water is undrinkable?
  
  Life is too short to play that stupid game. It's bullshit for everyone involved. I'm happy to be single.
- Maybe the main problem is that the guys who are interested are solely interested because the girls require their one and only requirement of being, well, female.
  
  Yeah girls know the feelings for them comes from physical attraction, not so much from emotional attraction.
  But it depends very much. Hard to generalize this.

Meanwhile, here are my Garfield requirements:
is an orange cat
is funny
is part of a comic strip called "Garfield"
- My Garfield requirements are #1 and #3

Preferably but negotiable.

(optional)

So closed-minded! I'm sure you could loosen a bit this criterium, think of all the cute cat-eared femboys available in your area.
edit: typo
- How is this different from a straight guy trying to seduce a lesbian?
  
  Call me crazy, but I think it was just a joke continuing along the lines of OPs "I'm not picky" joke, on a shitpost community, not a serious request to be OP's partner.
  Like if I commented "eh if you're fine being less picky, I, Dave, can be your girlfriend", would I really be a weirdo sex pest like you're making out? Or would I just be someone having a joke on the internet?
  
  the lesbian won't be interested in the straight guy, the femboy might be into him!
- Same energy as a straight dude trying to 'fix' a lesbian.
  
  Bro we are in a shitposting community
- This is what Arlo's legs actually look like.
  
  just below the camera it just instantly cuts to full-sized human legs wearing thigh-highs, mercifully the transition is hidden by the miniskirt
- So what distro of Linux do you use?
  
  Alpine :3
- They are pretty good at hiding in my area.
- Well something could certainly be loosened, and im not referring to the criterium

Someone is being too picky...

You only date females? Wow that's a really offensive and insensitive thing to say. Also unrealistic, as this criteria blocks out half of all people. Prepare to get cancelled /s

I'll settle for a ai driven robot girlfriend at this point.

Those requirements disclude many other options. You may want to reconsider.

Contentious

@Deceptichum@kbin.social knows how I feel about girlfriends.
- Rofl this is the 3rd time I've seen you two snipe at each other, it's petty as hell and I love it
- Why? What do they know? :o
  
  Girlfriends have a poor ROI. No serious financial advisor would recommend having a girlfriend in your portfolio.

There's an emptiness I need to fill And only one emptiness will do
- Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  https://www.piped.video/watch?v=j2OUsgqhlco
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

69 comments