11mo ago

family sized lasanyer

89 comments

- Username is tangentially relevant
- Ohhhhhh dags.
  I thought this was some kind of Indian food Iesanya (with an I)

OMG, Had just moved into a new house. BEAUTIFUL white kitchen, marble counter tops, light grey floor, whole 9 yards.
Kid 1: I want home made pizzas for my birthday party
Me: FUUUUUUU...OK
Day of:
Split up the 17 batches of fermented dough I had made into pie rounds
Broke out the cast iron skillet.
Started working out dough rounds.
Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next
Round -> corn starch-> skillet on the range on high -> sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next
Round -> corn starch-> skillet -> on the range on high sauce -> cheese -> meat -> broil -> cut -> deliver -> next
CRANKIN' IT OUT BOSS!
Oh shit I'm out of red sauce, grab another giant glass jar from the pantry
Go to grab something with my off hand, swing the sauce too close, comes down on the edge of the counter, 99.9% over the floor. CRACK!
Bottom of the glass jar just falls off. I'm wearing cargo shorts, it fills my pocket, and my shoe, and slops into the open drawer and down the counter face and as the glass hits the floor, the sprays up all over the rest of the counters and my shirt and the ceiling and the lip of the counter.
- That sounds like a real lasanyer shoe day.
- Living space with pristine white room and furnishings
  Living space with one or more children
  Pick one.
  
  the children had nothing to do with butterfingers goof up though?
- Did you throw some spaghetti in that pocket and make your own meme photo?
  
  Honestly even with the bloodbath that was there I couldn't hope to even approach the majesty of that photo.
- Man I thought the other night was bad. Just got my new fizzy drink maker machine. Showed my kids how awesome fizzy orange juice is. I didn't release the pressure after fizzing it up, remove the bottle and BOOM, fizzy OJ goes EVERYWHERE... ceiling, my face, walls, the clean dishes on the drying rack, windows etc etc. lol
  
  You’re supposed to make water fizzy, and then afterwards add flavor (which contains sugar.)
  I don’t think you are supposed to add it before otherwise it explodes everywhere?
  
  Oh yeah, I have one of those. My failure was lemonade. They need to make one with a longer straw so you can keep the liquid further down in the carbonation bottle. Anything but water is a constant s*** show
- When mayonnaise used to be sold in glass jars I dropped a brand new jar and had mayonnaise and broken glass everywhere.
  
  Were you able to salvage any? Just asking if it was Hellman’s you could maybe still use some from the top.
- This was a long story.
  
  Heh so is the cleanup, I still find little spots of tomato sauce to this day

!boneappletea@lemmy.world

removed lasanyer

I used to be a delivery driver for a pizzaria. One night I got a really far delivery, like half an hour each way. I guess during that time the lasagna steamed the paper delivery bag, because I picked it up by the top (stupid) and made it three steps from my car before the lasagna fell out the bottom of the bag and exploded on this dudes driveway. Very sad.
- Then what happened? Was the customer understanding? Did you have to make the drive out again to replace it? What did your boss say?
  
  The customer was very understanding. I did drive out a second lasagna. Boss was angry, but he was always angry.
- Half an hour is a "really far" delivery? In the city I live, because of traffic, everything is about 20 minutes away, no matter the direction.

Is that troy "I sniff the seats of female parliamentarians and snap my opposition staffers' bras" buswell?
Edit: misremembered, turns out it was a labour staffer.
- Holy schneikes, his Wikipedia page's "Controversies" section is WILD
  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troy_Buswell
  
  This is as true as calling Clarence Thomas "justice"
  
  As an American I love hearing about this kind of stuff because it makes me feel better about the embarrassing shitshow we've got going on over here. Doesn't make the situation any better, but it's nice to commiserate and know that everything is basically fucked everywhere else too
  
  Holy shit, that guy needs Jim Carey to yell at him. "STOP GRABBING PEOPLE'S CROTCHES, ASSHOLE".
  
  Wowzers you weren't kidding, what a shitshow that dude is!
- not even his staffer, one for the other party
  
  Yeah I saw that in the wikipedia link - I'd misremembered. Just editing my comment.

That's a small fuckin' family you got there, buddy.
- Judging by the looks of the lasanyer, they don't really like their family either.
  
  That's a Stouffer's lasanyer if I ever saw one

Been having a lot of lasanyer on shoe days lately myself. I feel ya Troy.
- Please don't lasan'ya shoes!

That is definitely lasanyer, because no one makes lasagna with one giant sheet of pasta on the top and bottom.

Wtf is a lasyanyarer
- Sounds like a giant robot from a Japanese anime.
- One who lasanyas.

IANALasanyer

What were they doing with lasanyer near the wall with shoes
- Maybe eating it at a desk?
  
  That looks like a doormat too.

Frozen lasanyer is a trap! It's rigid going into the oven, but floppy coming out.
- Skill issue
- That's what she said

My family is a lot bigger than that
- "Family size" is a marketing term aimed at making the large size comfortable for women to buy
  It's not really about how it could feed a family, though it could
  
  party size chips. all for meeeee

TIL I eat family sized portions. Like, that's lunch, at most.
- you must be American
  
  These comments while not always inaccurate seem out of place, like I've seen fat fucks around the globe. America has an obesity problem for sure but this just comes off with a lot of smug.
  
  Far off actually. I've just always eaten a lot, anything less and I start losing weight.
- that's like a cake tray of lasagna
- That has the area of 2 feet and looks pretty tall. I think you wouldn't be able to eat that whole thing.
  
  I don’t think he wanted to eat those shoes.
  
  That has the area of 2 feet
  Looks more like 6x6 inches to me... that would be 0.25 sqft.
  It's on top of the shoe, and on average people's shoes are less than a ft long. It looks about half the length of the shoe to me, possibly slightly more.

At least, the carpet still intact!

Hands up who would still eat the lasanyer and wear the shoes 🤚

Those shoes look pretty lame to be anybody's favorite pair. And it's only on one of them, what a complainer.
- They also seem to be ballooning out in all directions as if worn by a morbidly obese person
  
  He said it was a family sized lasanyer. He didn't say an entire family was going to eat it.
  
  Or they're just too small. Those don't look like large shoes.

Not the lasagna 😔

What a waste!

89 comments