You end up homeless. You have no family, friends, job, in demand job skills, money, credit cards, or car. What would you do to get out of that situation?
I've been here before and while I don't wanna take the time to write an entire guide, the short of it is you need to fucking hustle and start now.
As of now you are a goddamn sales agent. Your product is yourself. Always Be Closing and No Means Next are your new mantras. Don't be afraid to stretch the truth if it means you live another day. Your life is about to be very different and difficult. You are now a pariah. People will not see you as a human being. Get used to that fast and this'll be easier.
You need to find a place to sleep and get food, that's paramount. You need to find a way to keep groomed and clean, people are fucking assholes to dirty humans. You need to find a way to clean your clothes, too, because people view you as subhuman if you can't wash your clothes once a week.
Go to a church. Make up a slightly more tragic back story. Get good at this. People are gonna wanna hear your tale and its gotta mostly conform with their preconceived notions about you but should defy them only in one part or another. They're gonna be demeaning as shit to you while pretending to be nice, be ready for that and play into it. They love that shit. Be ready to switch churches once the congregation gets bored of helping you, which they will. Christian denominations will probably give you the most in the onset, but also they actually give the fewest shits. Mosques and Hindu temples will give you the best foods, but YMMV on how much assistance they'll provide.
If you can meet and talk with a Rabbi, this is the best option. No one helped me more directly and honestly than the Rabbim I met on this journey. Everyone else gave what they thought was the Platonic ideal of aid. The Rabbi would listen and try to help like a real friend.
Keep clean. It's so important for getting a job and recognized as human in society, it's so wildly important.
You wanna find suits and "nicer" clothes at thrift stores. Don't worry if they fit poorly, a shitty suit and tie makes you more human in the eyes of society than a ratty t shirt.
Apply to min wage jobs like mad. You can use the church as an address. That'll mostly fly, but also when you tell the pastor you almost had a job but they needed a physical address, they'll more than likely tell you to use theirs. Look for places that'll pay in cash, i.e. aren't big brand businesses. Retail is mostly big corporations now, don't discount them entirely, but focus on small business shops like pizzerias or delis. Someplace that isn't gonna have some binder of SOPs or corporate oversight. Food places are great because they usually have left over shit you can ask to take home. Anything going into the trash, that can be yours.
Once you get a lil bit of money, hoard it. Don't let anyone know you got cash. You want a car or some other way to travel longer distances so in case things go tits up, you can bail. A $10 a month gym membership gives you a shower and place to shave. Burner phones let you keep in touch and network when you can't use the computers at the library. Dunno if it still works, but I got a lil cash going doing retail arbitrage via Craigslist and Facebook. Do all your exchanges at a police station. Unless you "look homeless", then the pigs will harass you. Do it at a Walmart lot with lots of cameras during the day. Don't get into the drug trade unless you know what you're doing, you'll get hurt and bad.
Speaking of substances, don't turn to drugs. They're too expensive to really help anything. Booze, though, can be useful in small amounts. It's extremely calorie dense, and a buzz is nice, but 1) you're gonna need your wits at all fucking times, 2) no one respects an unhoused drunk
Shoplifting is easy. But don't do it as your main way to acquire things, do it while buying other stuff to stretch your dollar. Your legitimate purchase is your ticket into the store. Be smart. Look for cameras and employee eyes. Take small things to practice.
High calorie food sources are great when you can't get much food. So is stuff you can keep in your mouth a long time, helps keep hunger away. Chew jerky was a personal favorite. Bags of nuts are good, too, but be wicked mindful of salt intake and make sure to drink lots of water. Many libraries and parks will have water fountains of some kind.
Convenience store hot dogs are great. They're cheap and you can abuse the toppings for extra food. Do this when they're busy so they don't see you loading the box with relish and tomatoes. You can also buy chips and pour the pump chili and cheese over em if no one is watching you.
Come up with stories to tell pigs as to why you're sleeping outside (got kicked outta home if you're young, spouce kicked me out if you're older, etc). If you get caught, don't sleep there again for a few weeks. Especially if you're sleeping in your car, the pigs will take it from you, they are monsters, never ever trust them.
Amazing.
Also, dishwasher gigs are always in high demand and Chefs DNGAF if you're down & out, 9 out of 10 times if there's an opening you get a shot, show up on time, do the work, what you do on your own time is up to you. Not the most ideal job for some, you'll figure that out soon enough. but it gives you some time to get your shit together.
I've been in the kitchen for 35 years and still spend my time in the dish pit (but now the dishes are MINE).
One hundred percent. I washed dishes while living outta my car for a while. You can also sneak food off plates if you're just a lil careful. Finding work where you can eat on the job is a huge blessing. If you can wait tables, that works too. Anything where you can get paid in cash. Cash is king when you can't have an address for a bank account.
Hehe, also, not gonna lie, I think washing dishes with those overhanging sprayers is kinda fun.
Chefs DNGAF if you're down and out
Nothing ever changes (literally Orwell!)
Holy shit dude. These are real as fuck answers. I have done a few of these while going through hard times. 💯 on the need to project the right image into some people's pity systems to get what you need from them. They don't want the truth or to help you, they just want to feel good about themselves. Same for hygiene and creating the illusion of legitimacy to access resources. There's a strategy for every level of life - and you need to know which to use once you move up or down.
For real dude it's fucking eye opening to understand how the world works from that perspective. I could waffle on about how we take so much for granted in our lives, but I think most folks could come to those same conclusions with enough thought.
But being treated like you're a dingy pet just because you don't have any money? And realizing you can weaponize that to get a bite to eat?
That shows you what a society really is. And it punches through a lotta the nursery rhymes you get told growing up about kindness and meritocracy.
The main takeaway I got was All Cops Are Bastards.
That's true, but it's not enough to get you through homelessness.
Your biggest takeaway should be that you will need to rely on the kindness of strangers, have the confidence to ask for help, and the resilience to do it again when you're rejected.
And that this cursed world is insanely cruel to the most vulnerable. It's a condemnation of unimaginable magnitude that we could produce such wealth and wonders and yet still treat people the way we do the unhoused.
Out of curiosity, how are things for you now?
Kickass. I got a fairly decent job, a 2 bedroom apartment I share with a wonderful man, a car from 2021 and right now I'm getting over a cold while I eat Chinese food on the couch while I watch Star Trek. (TNG S05E25, Inner Light, it's a fucking masterpiece)
I'm fighting the company for some more money, but who isn't these days?
i dunno, the premise of this question seems to me like homelessness is a riddle that homeless people just have not figured out. im pretty sure that if the answer could be crowdsourced in eight hours from eighty sysadmins on the toilet, it wouldn't be such an intractable problem
eighty sysadmins on the toilet
I'll be damned if that isn't the most succinct and accurate description of Lemmy that I've ever seen.
... so that's why shitposting is such a huge deal on lemmy.
Homelessness is never a choice. It is always circumstantial (i.e. very very bad luck and nobody to turn to for help) or based on something like a mental health or substance abuse disorder.
For me, my homelessness was caused by being abused and then abandoned by my family members and the resultant depression.
I am incredibly lucky that I have had people come through and support me and give me a place to crash and distractions from my misery long enough for me to process it until I could get back to a decent working mental order.
On a purely financial basis I'm doing really fucking good. I made a little over $150,000 last year, I live in a three-story home, I drive a relatively new car and things are generally pretty good for me in that aspect, but I also have practically no friends and very few people that I can rely on that live anywhere near me and there are unseen costs attached with reaching those levels of depression and misery that I don't have the ability to express in text format.
But yeah if it had just been on me none of that shit would have ever happened in the first place. It wasn't that I was lazy. It wasn't that I was miserable. It wasn't that I was useless. I didn't have issues with drugs.
I was my high School valedictorian.
I did everything that I was supposed to do the way I was supposed to do it.
I still got to experience several years of homelessness because the people who chose to bring me into this world also chose to use me as a punching bag and then throw me away when I got old enough that if they continued to beat me mercilessly they would go to jail for it.
It took me a total of 12 years to pull myself up out of that funk and get back on solid ground again.
It seems like 100% the problem is a lack of support. Substance abuse is tied quite a bit to having a lack of support and connections to healthy people. It's why things like AA help people, they have access to a real person who cares about their recovery. Bad home life, being abused, mental health leading to homelessness, it all sounds like ways of saying "unsupported and left to the elements."
Hey! I'm not on the toilet.
right now...
If you live in a blue state, then you get in touch with the housing first types who will get you into a small home and off the street. Then you rebuild your life.
If you live in a red state, you hitchhike to a blue state and do the first step.
I would go the Social Services office and explain my situation. Provided I could prove my identity I would walk out with a couple hundred dollars cash, an address for decent temporary accommodations, and an appointment with a case worker to find a more permanent solution for me.
That's the security of the Nordic welfare state.
So many plots for series only make sense in the US. Your answer in comparison to many others here show why.
It's mostly just sad. I don't mean it in a condescending way. Reading that people would likely just kill themselves, turn to prostitution, do crime, etc.
"That's communism!"
I did this pretty much, except I did have a car and family, but I was stubborn and refused help from my family, so really just the car.
Get to a bigger midwest/ rust belt city (Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, St Louis, Cleveland) cost of living is low which is good for you, and in my experience not many people are moving there so tons of people are hiring at jobs with no requirements (I got a job in like 2 days). Try and get two jobs close to each other, probably downtown. You'll save up money way quicker and have less time to deal with living on the streets.
Find a public park, preferably one with those grills and a water fountain. You can cook food over a fire on thee grill, simple things like oatmeal or ramen. The one I stayed in had bathrooms that were open during the day (at night I just did my business in the woods, used a bag for number 2). It also had an old public building that was closed down but I could climb on top and sleep under the eaves out of sight and the weather. I kept my stuff in my car but I could have kept it there.
For electricity charge you're stuff at work, and get a backup battery, they're only like 30 bucks and it's super important. Libraries are a godsend for a million things, electricity and bathrooms chief among them. After 3 months you should be able to save enough for a shitty apartment and have the job history. Lie if you need to, they won't check more than your current job 9/10 times.
Go to the library and look up government assistance programs. There are usually some programs to help you, even if you have to jump through miles of hoops.
In the U.S. I would also advise calling 211. It's a hotline that connects you directly to qualifying government resources.
I was there last year. I sat in the men's shelter and job hunted. Then I ran my money out at hotels before moving in with a friend from the men's shelter.
A lot of those other dudes at the men's shelter who literally couldn't do a job were basically fucked though. It's depressing that I can't do anything for them and they're all on timers before they gotta face the weather and evil police.
It's sad how easy it is to tell who's from the US and EU here.
Basically "you're fucked, be a criminal or die" versus, "go to the Social Services and tell them you're homeless"
Very important post. We need solutions, not judgements or moralistic catchphrases that are impossible (bootstraps)
The dirty hippie should get a job.
Don't be daft. Hippies are smelly. Commies are dirty. Did you not read your Capitalism For Dummies handbook?
If you're in the US, you're screwed. If you're in Europe, you can go to the social services office and they'll set you up in an apartment and get you on a path to a job or education.
I'm a woman so I would become a temp prostitute. I would avoid hard drugs. Bank roll and buy a van. Live in van. Great success.
I'd start by checking into a homeless shelter. Then I'd get a job within walking distance. That's the hard part, the walking distance part.
I was in ALMOST this situation in summer of 2022. I was homeless, and stayed in a shelter, and got myself a job. But I wasn't penniless. I had maybe a hundred bucks when I started, meaning I could ride the bus to work.
The lower you go, the harder it gets. So my solution would have been impossible without the bus fare.
The shelter had a very early curfew. 6:30 pm or something like that. It would have been impossible to walk to the job simply based on time -- about two hours' walk to and from which wouldn't leave enough time between wakeup and curfew to get to work, work, and get back.
The lower you go, the harder it gets. That's one of the most useful things to know about life. If you take a break and you slide back, that break just made your life harder. Below a certain threshold, you can't climb back up again.
I got out of homelessness, but I had the benefit of mental health, and of being pretty tough already when I became homeless. I guess toughness is an aspect of mental health, so suffice to say I had the key ingredient to get out of that which was mental health. Well, and a functioning philosophy of life.
did I forget my current skills or they are just not in demand anymore? have govenment programs improved? hows my health?
The point of stating "no in demand job skills" was that I did not want someone who has been a web developer for 20 years write something like:
"Easy! I'd just go to the library and get on Upwork.com and start doing freelance gigs". <- just an example
ok then.
I am barely holding it together in my nice, comfy life. In that scenario the first thing I would do is look for a nice, high building with roof access.
Bluntly, I find my current life more than difficult enough with 4/5 of that (I discount the CC and car as not strictly necessary), so I'd start planning my suicide. That's obviously not meant as advice, it's what I would do.
Crime. I'd do crime. I'm too old to join the Navy, too poor to get some debt. So I'd do the same thing the overwhelming majority of Americans who find themselves in the situation do: Crime.
Which crime? Well, the likelihood of this actually happening to many people who are currently gainfully employed and financially stable is uncomfortably high, so some cards I just have to keep close, and you should too.
No war but the class war.
Air Force and Space Force max enlistment age is 42 now. Not for everyone but they do come with skills that are usually marketable outside, respect from random people, and of course room and board. That is not a short term solution though, it can be be months before they send you to basic training, they are also picky about current health, medical history, ASVAB, etc.
Try to find a job. Like any job. I'll clean or do manual labor, no shame in that. I'd also try and look for government programs for re-education so I can learn whatever skills are in demand and the moment.
Military.
It sucks, but lots of people join because it's literally their last option available.
If you're over 35 you're out of luck tho.
Air Force and Space Force is 42 since October.
No respect for that answer.
Your poverty does not entitle you to kill or contribute to killing others.
Go steal food from a shop, not take a life.
I'm 57 years old with bad knees. I won't make it. First thing I do is go somewhere quiet and kill myself.
Americorps, baby! Get those positions with applied housing. I guess I'd make use of shelters and the local library first.
Learn to pick locks. Steal food from dumpsters. Get a job with a locksmith. Aquire shelter. Make friends.
First up, go to one of the available help centers and register for welfare. This will give me a monthly income that's enough to cover most of my daily needs. Housing will be more complicated. The state would cover my rent but I'd first need to find a suitable flat in the first place. If I'm lucky, there is social housing available. If not, I'd have to sleep on the street or in shelters for a while. No idea how I'd handle that. Once I have a roof over my head, I can start looking for a job.
Sell some plasma, spend the money on Fent and kill myself.
Probably join the military, get a degree for 4 years of my life and start fresh. Hope there's not a new war in the mean time and if there is, still probably beats being homeless.
This is for sure a solution. It's a quick way to get you out of homelessness, get you a paycheck, education, and a pretty likely way to get some job skills.
I mean, I wasn't homeless and used it for that exact reason. If you're going to risk being sent to die, might as well get everything you can out of it.
I mean, realistically I probably don't
Find an abandoned building and make it a home. Steal resources from those that can afford to lose them. Become a professional hobo. Teach others and raise a hobo army called The Hob Nobs. Take over the United Kingdom and rebrand it the United Hob Nobdom. Free healthcare and education for everyone. Eton becomes a school for children with learning disabilities. Prisoners are rehabilitated, royal family and aristocracy are imprisoned. Public policy is based on reasoned argument, scientific principles and evidence based. Drugs are legalised. Conservatism is banned. Money is abandoned. War is illegal. Everyone is happy.
OP's mother already has me on retainer
If I were homeless I'd just buy a house, duh
Overdose and die.
Assuming that I'm in a position where even fast food chains won't hire me (and believe me, these guys will hire anyone), beg for spare change; get enough to buy packed water and start selling it on public spots. This should get me enough to feed myself and save up a little. Sleep in parks. Use gyms to shower.
After I can reasonably do my hygiene too, try to apply jobs within my local range. Newspaper job listings could also help a lot here. There always exists some need for a job in somewhere after all. I'd be guaranteed a minimum wage (which is not a lot in my country), but definetly would let me afford rent and food. This is a satisfactory end for some people already, but to get bigger you can try to find work in smaller political parties next to get connections (sometimes people that rake in lot of money could have the dumbest political ideas); or save up to get a small motorbike to open up your job opportunities even further.
Befriend an idealised version of yourself and start stealing fat from the backyards of clinics that practice liposuction. Then make soap and "other stuff" with the fat while you build a secret society of homeless people and use it to destroy the very infrastructure of world economy and finance.
You should be fine.
I would pick up a trade. You can make decent money as an electrician's apprentice or as a roofer depending on your body weight and strength.
You can also go and join the Ironworkers union.
If trades are not viable for you, I would apply at the cheapest college you can get into that has dorms.
Yeah you're going to be picking up a shit ton of debt but you would have a place to stay and a thing to do to help improve your future and the opportunity to meet new people.
If neither trades nor college or something you can or will do, then I would pick up odd jobs and save up the money to get the cheapest car that you can sleep in and then start figuring out what you can do from there.
Great plan! Can you step it back to day one. No money, dirty, no place to sleep, no transportation. How do you first get a place to sleep, food to eat and transportation to your apprentice job?
Sorry, even though I've been homeless multiple times I've always been fortunate enough to have a vehicle and ID
If I had to do it all over again and I did not have a vehicle I would probably find my nearest Catholic church and ask them for some assistance.
A few weeks of semi-stable homing would be enough to get me my start again.
If I was radically anti-religious on top of that, I would suggest attempting to beg for money to buy or, if you feel unable to beg, steal a tent and a bucket and hike out somewhere where I could establish a base.
From there it would be about establishing a space level of hygiene and normalcy and then building from there. Working for a fast food place should earn you the money needed to eat, and you can use water from the bucket to wash yourself and your clothes.
That’s a good point. I suppose if you walk on a job site and ask to be a laborer, they might respect your drive and at least you can get minimum wage to live. You can probably ask to do night security for free and sleep on site.
I'd find a social worker to lean on for help and a shelter for temporary housing. It's a long road, but that's where I would start my journey. You'd have to baby step it and hope a couple things come together simultaneously.
I mean ... you've taken away my job skills. So crime I guess.
Sounds like you found a new job that disrupts the existing paradigm!
Find a safe area to find a retail job in and start learning some skills. I spent 24 years in retail, over half in management, and made a good living doing so.
You just have to be:
Lastly, sorry to hear you or others may be going through something like this. I hope shelter, safety, and support is found quickly.
Find some houses in the suburbs and start mowing lawns.
I either kill myself or charm my way to a warm bed and some semblance of stability while I climb up the job skills ladder.
I view the latter option as morally reprehensible, but I guess if I’m honest from the get go, I could justify it.
Rob some shops, learn an instrument I could busk with, suck some dick for tips.
Realistically, if it has gotten to that point it would be for a reason(addiction, mental health, etc). You would have to address that reason. If you can't then there are 3 options:
If all that doesn't work, you will need to put more thought into it. You could try panhandling, you could try to hitch a train to another area to live.. most likely though you are going to kill yourself.
Eat a bullet.
Almost at 69 up🫶otes
Opiates.
Selling, or consuming?
Sell a kidney?
Go back to my family and friends.
Re-read the title.
Re-read the kobayashi maru test.