My wife every two weeks:

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Upper class problems
- My mother seriously recommended I hire cleaners if I wasn't able to always keep my place clean at a time in my life where I was super busy.
  I made like $30k in 2014. I wasn't poor by any stretch, but suggesting I hire cleaners was a clear indicator of how out of touch she was with the lower half of the middle class.
  
  That’s what $14 an hour? That’s minimum wage in most U.S states.
- My mother makes a near median salary but still hires someone to clean her apartment every 2 weeks because she hates cleaning. To pay for it and other things she does pet sitting and travel booking on the side.
  Division of labor is a useful thing.
- Comfortable middle class. Upper class people have full time servants. They don't come to your house. They're just always there.
  
  The traditional definition of middle class was being able to afford a servant or two.
  These days it's certainly well within middle class income to hire a cleaning service, have groceries delivered, etc.

"the cleaners are coming" said literally nobody I know. Can't relate to this at all.
- But what if you're the cleaner, and your cumming?
  
  Their cumming what?

I don't have cleaners. But the last time I saw this joke made a commenter opened OPs eyes with something along the lines of:
Imagine hiring cleaners gives you a +2 to your cleanliness level.
You start at 5. +Cleaners: 7
Clean first to get to 7 on your own? +Cleaners: 9
Also. Cleaners will start with the easy shit like dishes. If dishes are done they have to go deeper to clean harder shit. Get your money's worth.

I’ve never understood this thought process. Sure, getting some stuff out of their way makes sense (like getting shoes off the floor so the cleaners can vacuum), but why clean?
- A few reasons I clean before they arrive:
  They're not paid great so I'd rather not inconvenience them too much and let them get into their next gig faster.
  I don't want them putting non dishwasher items in the dishwasher and potentially ruining them.
  You will lose items because they're organizing your place and will put stuff not where you expect it.
  They tend to do a deeper clean when they're not focusing on cleaning up the smaller stuff you can take care of yourself
  
  Okay. These reasons make sense. Thanks!
- It's called an anxiety disorder. shame and guilt and embarrassment
  They don't want others to think they're dirty/unclean/etc so they do this. It's the same reason some people won't call a handyman to fix a problem, or go to a doctor/dentist, they're afraid of someone knowing they couldn't fix or take care of themselves.
  
  More often than not I suspect that is the case, anecdotally though neighbors of mine have a different approach. They are very clean and only have a cleaner come in once every two months. They also have an immunocompromised child so slightly different situation.
  One time we got to talking about it and they said it was to clean more thoroughly than they could. The cleaners come in with the expertise and more importantly the tools to make sure their house is clean enough for their child.
  The really good cleaning equipment is really expensive to buy and once you're renting it it's not much more expensive to just pay someone to use it. They are far more well off than me, that's for sure, but they're not rich.
- Ever brush your teeth just before going in for a routine dental cleaning?
  
  I just do that to be courteous to the dentist, so my breath isn’t gross. I know it’s still obvious that I don’t floss. I see what you’re getting at, but it isn’t quite the same.
  
  Wait, do you go to the dentist literally just to get them to clean your teeth? As in they’re not checking for cavities or issues, they just brush and floss you and you’re on your way? That’s super weird.
  I only go once a year for a checkup - they give me a clean as well, but that’s not the purpose of the visit. I’ve never met anyone who goes to the dentist just for a clean.

Imagine being rich enough to hire cleaners
- I'm definitely not rich.
  I'm not living in a box down by the river and using a rat as a pillow either.
  Both of us work, and with kids thrown into the mix, it gets chaotic around here. Cleaners are the one splurge we do, and it's so we can spend time with our kids rather than doing chores.
  
  You should also feel bad you’re literate, ya cake eater

Cleaners?
Of course I know him, he's me.

Wait, people actually hire people to clean their house?
I thought that was only in movies. Have you ever heard of just.... Picking up after yourself?
- If you think cleaning is picking up after yourself you haven't actually cleaned. If I had just a tiny bit more disposable income I'd love to spend it on someone properly cleaning the apartment.
  Between two full time jobs, commute, and a toddler there is not much time, much less energy, to clean beyond a quick vacuum, and wipe down of the bathroom once a week.
  
  Yeah, I was being a bit purposefully ignorant that day

36 comments