You have to be cold and distant

TIL it's common to give onions a name before cutting them.

But he was my onion dad. He always wanted to go into a stir fry but it still hurts 😞

I ain't never cut an onion I didn't love and that's the gods honest truth

Totally works with people

What's the difference between my ex wife and an onion?

I might actually shed a tear if I chopped up the onion.