12mo ago

What non-SMS non-Apple app can I use to "text" my younger kid on their iPad

Hi! My less-than-10-year-old has their own iPad (registered under my apple id) and wants to be able to "text" with the rest of the family. Most of us are not Apple people though: Android phones, using some combo of SMS, Discord, and Signal. The little one doesn't have a phone, so I think that prevents us from signing them up for Signal. I could probably install Discord on the iPad, though it doesn't feel ideal. They use iMessage (or whatever it's called) to text a couple other friends/grandma/etc who also have Apple stuff, but what should we use for our mostly-non-Apple family that wouldn't require a phone number?

An internet search pointed me to WhatsApp, Telegram, Viber.... stuff I've never used but it seems popular. Facebook Messenger also, but screw that. Google Chat/Hangouts (or whatever it's called now) is another option, which would require creating a google account.

If nothing else appeals to me we'll probably go the Discord route, and I'll just have to be clear, don't join random servers :) But, anybody out there use WhatsApp with your kid, and does it not require a phone number? I'm open to other ideas! Thank you...

52 comments

Jami
It is peer to peer, no need to register any number nor email and username isn't mandatory.
Just install, configure and share QR codes to add your contacts.
- oh this looks really interesting. Thanks! I'm seeing a lot of negative reviews, people saying the messages are sporadic and unreliable.. Is this just a few squeaky wheels that leave reviews?
  
  Compared to more traditional messaging protocols it could seem that way depending on various factors like time zone differences and how often devices can be online.
  It seems like in general, 1:1 conversations will require both participants to be online simultaneously to communicate. Group conversations can have any online participant act as a relay for new messages to offline participants, more or less.
  Check out their documentation, particularly the article on how the distributed network works. Also the FAQ is massive! I wish I had the time to read about this in more detail right now
  https://docs.jami.net/enUS/user/index.html

You could use Matrix. https://matrix.org/ecosystem/clients/ if you're trying to not sign up for an account on the big platforms.
- this looks cool, thank you! I might give one of those clients a whirl.
- Matrix is the best

I don't have an answer, but if Facebook messenger is out, then Whatsapp should be out as well. Same company.
- oh I didn't know that. Thanks!

You got a lot of good advice already. I just wanted to add: Do not share your Apple ID with someone. Always leads tk trouble, lost data and things that people see that shouldn’t have seen it.
If they are 10, use family sharing and create a Children Account for them. All the benefits, non of the issues.
Here’s how this works: https://www.apple.com/family-sharing/
- Thanks! I followed your advice and set up the child account. Much better... and now the kid finally has an email address taboot. (icloud)

Step 1 - create a child account for them. Do not share an AppleId with them.
Second - this may feel a bit old fashioned - but have a look at downloading Skype
Free
Cross platform
No phone number needed
chat as well as audio/video calls.
- Ok, I took your advice, bit the bullet and created the child account. Much better! I now have "Ask to buy" set up, and screen time and all that good stuff. I should've done this earlier. thanks for that! Skype seems like a decent alternative too.. I'll definitely consider it (though the easy option right now is seeming like Discord, just because the rest of us are on it already). Thanks!
  
  Enjoy. Feel free to message me if you get stuck. Also check out the screen time and parental control options in iOS Settings - they are pretty good for setting limits on what a little’un can do and for how long.

Wasn't Signal getting rid of the phone number requirement?
- Not yet
- No, they will probably never get rid of it, they just added usernames on top of it.

We just use Discord. My daughter is 11 and has been on Discord for a while and uses it to talk to her friends while they are all gaming together, and can use it on her computer, phone, and tablet so she doesn't have to switch devices just to talk. Granted my daughter does have her own phone number, but she'll still use discord for her group chats just because of its ease of use and the ability for her and her friends to jump on a call to mine some crafts or ro some blox or whatever it is kids do these days.
- Right on, that would definitely be easiest because I use discord all the time. And yeah, this kid is all about the craft mining and blox ro-ing, often with a facetime in the background with their friend :) thanks for the vote!
  
  I'd second Discord! My kid and I use it.
  We used to use Google chat or whatever the Gmail option was, but it was extremely difficult to do notifications on there.
  My only advice is to keep an eye on servers they join and encourage them not to easily trust strangers or people who may say weird stuff.
  With a general lesson internet safety (that honestly should be discussed with any online communication platform), you should be all good!

Simplex.chat might work for you.
- This looks good and easy.. will definitely look into it more, thank you!

Slack? Threema?
- Second Threema, just username and it generates ID
  Edit: its only 2 * $3ma dollars
- I didn't think of Slack, but that'd be nice.. I already have it open all the time for work and a friend's server. Kid probably needs an email address to sign up, but it's about time to get one of those too... thanks!

If you guys have gmail accounts, use Google Chat.
- The kid doesn't (yet...) but it's probably about time to get them a non-school email address... so yeah that would be an easy option. thanks for the vote!

Threema, best $6 eva
- thank you.. that's a few people voting for threema, I'll definitely check it.
  
  Threema is awesome. They even have a Mastodon account: https://mastodon.social/@threemaapp
  Here are the settings I recommend during app and account setup:
  • Tap next instead of making a Threema Safe password, and Tap Yes, you really want to continue without enabling Threema Safe • Tap next instead of entering your phone number, and tap Yes to confirm you don’t want to enter your phone number • Turn off “Sync contacts”
  Make sure to scan each other’s QR codes in person to get your three green dots.
  Since you have to pay for the app, it’s less likely you’re the product.

Signal, if you are looking for secure 1-1 and small-group chat & voice/video. Matrix if you are looking for community group chat stuff, like slack.

Matrix could be nice, it's similar to Discord but it's private. You can even set up your own server. Signal is another great option, very secure and user friendly, but IIRC it needs a phone number (unless something changed).

I would suggest Element (Matrix) and if you want to step it up you can host your own server (synapse) for your family and still be connected with other servers through federation, just like with Lemmy. The good part is that your kid does not need a phone number to use it.
Other good alternatives like Signal do require a phone number.

WhatsApp is owned by FB btw

I've been using Olvid for the past year or so. Works great!
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/olvid/id1414865219
- nice, never heard of this, but looks good. I'll definitely consider it. thanks!
  
  If it is of interest, I actually decided to try Threema as a result of folks recommending it in this thread and like it a lot! Similar functionality to Olvid, but faster & more responsive.

Telegram carries the risk of the kid stumbling into some really ugly communities on there.
I'd recommend Threema, but buying that for life costs as much as a cup of coffee, so hardly anyone can be convinced to use it.
Honestly, I'd just use Teams to be honest.
- interesting, Threema doesn't look bad at all.. I'll consider it if none of the free options work great. Teams... I use that on my phone for my work M$ account, and it might be a pain to split it into my personal M$ account too... but if that's easy, that's a good idea. thank you!
  
  In general and specifically for this use-case I would recommend Threema as well. No phone number requirement. No spam. Secure.

Matrix via Element
- If you're ok with signup by phone number (can be burner phone number), Telegram and Signal are options. Depending on country, if you're unlucky you'd need to cycle through a few numbers that works for Telegram, Signal has no such problems

I'm surprised no one has mentioned Session.
- Looks cool.. a fork of Signal without the phone number requirement. I'll consider it, thanks!

I've only come across this with a search so I've never used it https://www.kinzoo.com/kinzoo-messenger
- looks promising, thanks! I'll take a look.

I'm a big fan of Microsoft Teams; full featured chat with easy voice and video calls, and you can sign up with any e-mail address (even non-Microsoft accounts).
- ah I didn't realize you could use a non-M$ acct. I have it on my phone already with my work account, but if I can have a second instance/profile open with my personal email... that could work. thanks!
  
  Yup, my wife and kids use it with their Gmail accounts, I use it with my MS account on my Android phone. You can also use the same accounts on desktop clients and Apple devices, so it's not tied to a phone number. However, I'm not sure I would recommend setting it up for twin boys with ADHD (again). 😆

52 comments