1y ago

Not even a rule anymore, I'm devastated

31 comments

There are no answers here. The truth is you, and the entirety of the Czech Republic were grievously injured in your collective soul. Whatever the motives of the shooter was, it is a senseless crime whose goal was to paralyze your heart.
Grieve first. It's necessary. However, don't let this cruel, twisted soul poison you. They win if you let it happen. Use your pain. Start by being with friends, classmates and family. Offer little kindnesses. A cooked meal or a timely errand, even pausing to listen to another person who is working through the same pain you are. It's doesn't seem like much, but it is your humanity that will get you through this.
When you finally begin to not feel so frozen, maybe invest time into social action to prevent this from happening in your country again. Work to be sure our American disease doesn't get a hold of your body. My country is broken here and the lesson you need from us is not let it infect you. Fight for it if you can.
Again, my condolences for all of your losses. They're probably inadequate, but know you are not alone.
Take care, stranger.
- Thank you.
  I will try to not get angry, and use these emotions for good.
  
  Don't worry about feeling angry. That is a normal emotion when things happen out of your control that you would like to be able to change. It is the emotion that tries to give you an extra impulse to move from a state of inaction or fear to a state of action to change it or prevent it in the future. Normal emotion. But just not always helpful if the thing you want to change is still outside your control.
  Just do not let that anger turn via blame into hatred. That can happen if it is hard to change the things you would like to change, and the anger starts getting directed at the things or people that you feel as "doing nothing to help", "doing the opposite of helping" or even "the cause of this problem" and stays there. Again, it is normal to feel anger or blame here. That can help to find ways to change something, but from there it can slide into seeing those things or people as "enemies", the root cause of everything you would like to be able to change, the opposers and blockers and the evil that wants to keep your thing from ever to change. That is where hatred lies. Anger that cannot be resolved unless something or someone else changes.
  You can also use that anger and blame to find constructive ways to make the change. As other people mentioned: grieve together. Find out that they are as helpless as you to change what is past. That they are as afraid as you of things outside your control. That they also feel the pain of loss, and would also like to prevent this from happening again. Bring food, talk, listen. Everyone wants to feel seen, heard, and trust that they won't have to keep fighting or be forgotten if their needs aren't met, but be able to find support and care in the people around them. By sharing and showing these kindnesses, you can build or strengthen these bonds of trust in the community.
  Anger is a call to action, and blame can be a way to find the places where those bridges of support may have weakened, where those mutual and basic needs are likely to be unmet. The action can be to rebuild them.
  
  Don't be afraid to get angry.
  Angry changes things. Angry drives us, motivates us, pushes us forward.
  "Angry gets shit done."
  You deserve to be angry at the piece of shit who did this, and every piece of shit who drove them to it.
  That's OK. Don't wallow in anger. Don't sit she stew in it endlessly. But permit yourself to feel it. Do not fear your anger. Embrace it like a friend; let it take your hand and pull you forwards into positive action, even if that action is something as small and simple as choosing to be kind to others and live your life better than the person who angered you.
  
  To add to others here, anger is neither good or bad. It is an emotion. It is okay to be angry at people causing pain and suffering. It's how you deal and use anger that matters. As others said, let it be energy to create positive change and don't allow it to burn you out from the inside.
  So allow yourself to be angry, to feel the hurt and to be sad. Then do the work to make the necessary changes to make the world better.
  Hugs

You are now an honorary American.
- I don't even know how its possible. Why? Why the fuck would someone do this before christmas?!
  I hope his body is thrown among the dogs. Cunts like him don't deserve a funeral.
  
  There have been two mass shootings in my city in the last 4 years. The first was a mile from my house on a popular bar hopping street that I had been to countless times. Many of my friends were there that night, some while it happened, and the only reason I wasn't, was because I flaked on plans last second to stay home and play video games.
  Everywhere felt a lot different after that, it felt surreal. You could sense this difference on everyone around you as well. What helped the most was to just continue my routine and go out of my way to smile or be nice to strangers I passed by. Time went on, I kept doing my morning walks down that street, kept going to work every morning, and eventually it just stopped occupying my mind at all.
  
  Idek what to say. We're all glad you're alive. Hopefully this will encourage more people to get out and vote, be more politically active, and try to get guns away from irresponsible individuals.
  Edit: hmm you're not in the U.S. School shootings probably follow the trend with U.S shootings anyways, we have a big hand in this.
- Don't be so hasty. OP's country will likely address the problem.

As dark as it sounds, this is part of the purpose of stochastic terrorism.
To make you feel unsafe anywhere, at any time. To nearly always be in a state of shock.
The shock you feel is normal, and you should try to find healthy ways to deal with that shock and overcome your shock.
As rightly considered in the book The Shock Doctrine, societies under shock are easier to control, which is why constant shocks of stochastic terrorism have helped increase police budgets in a time period where no one trusts the police and considers them a government-sanctioned group of thugs who will lie, cheat, and steal to ruin your life.
Shock passes, and we must attempt to be resilient against these shocks by understanding what is going, communicating with others about the situation and how we must resist shock, to providing mutual aid for others who are also in shock.
What can we, the denizens of Lemmy, offer you, in these trying times?
EDIT: I'm so used to this being a US problem I didn't even realize this might not be about the US.
- This is not the US. This is not normal here.
  I don't know what to even do, I feel every emotion at once, none of them good.
  I didn't even know anyone of the people who died or were hurt.. and I can't even possibly imagine the grief the parents, friends and partners are going through.
  If this happened to my friends... my sister? My girlfriend? I don't even want to think what I would have done.
  
  It might be helpful to try to organize those thoughts on your loved ones into something constructive?
  If it has made you face the mortality of your loved ones, perhaps write them letters about how important they are to you, and how this event has damaged you but also helped you uncover how strongly you care for them.
  You're on an emotional rollercoaster. I'm sure they are, too. Telling them how much you mean to them can spark a conversation that may help you both process your feelings on the matter.
  
  Know that it is very normal what you are feeling right now, to be hurt, sad, angry, confused and every other emotion. Hopefully a shared moment of grief will be organized. Go there, join in grief with your fellow students and give a hug to whoever needs it. It might not feel like it yet, but it will help.
- stochastic terrorism
  Is there non-stochastic, predictable terrorism?
  How do you know what was the purpose of the attack? I can't find anything in the media on his goals.
  which is why constant shocks of stochastic terrorism have helped increase police budgets in a time period where no one trusts the police and considers them a government-sanctioned group of thugs who will lie, cheat, and steal to ruin your life.
  OP is not in USA.
  
  Is there non-stochastic, predictable terrorism?
  Sure, a planned like 9/11 attack carried out by an organization like Al Queda is non-stochastic
  
  Yeah, I am realizing this after the fact.

Talk to a counsellor or therapist.
- I mean, it's good advice, but it's also the advice the entire student body is going to be getting in the next few days, and that's not really helpful if the school can't actually provide that many counselors to help their students process this.
  
  Maybe talk about it with other students in a group?
  
  There’s National helpline phone numbers, or they can be referred to a professional via their doctor.

If counseling is available, take it. Rest. Cry. Scream into pillows. Hug and rock yourself. Get hugs from others if you can. Long baths. Sleep. Eat. Rest.

Know that you are in abundant company.
Not only the company of those in your community, not only the company of those in communities that have been impacted by similar violence. But also the company of those that mourn with you and share your anger.
Do not listen to anyone who tries to tell you that now is not the time to take measures to prevent the next one. That's how this becomes normal.

Journaling is very helpful for organizing your thoughts and subjecting them to conscious review. It can be harder to get a handle on them if they are unconscious and just bouncing around in your mind.
It may well be that nothing much about your life needs to change, or you may feel a need to take control of the situation by doing something for the victims or a cause to support. Either way, the process of documenting and organizing your thoughts in writing is extremely helpful.

What country?
- Czech Republic, Prague
- This is probably the shooting in Prague

I'm sorry. This sucks. This is the kind of thing you don't realize, until it happens, that it feels different when it's your town, your community. I'm queer and originally from Orlando. I flew back to Orlando after the Pulse shooting and I'm glad I did. It's kinda like tent poles, you're going to be stronger leaning in together supporting each other right now. Log off. Stop refreshing websites for the latest update on the tragedy, the facts will always be there later if you find a compelling need for them. Go spend time with friends and community right now, go join a candlelight vigil or similar. Your whole community is grieving right now, it's healthier to go join the people who are experiencing the same thing you are, support your friends and they'll support you back. Protest for changes so tragedies like this are less likely to happen again in Czechia, if that's your thing - and at least your protests might actually change things.

Take care of yourself, and hopefully you feel strong enough to help anyone else going through a hard time. All the best, this sucks so much.

Just remember that its probably a one off thing. Even in America, you're more likely to get struck by lightning than get shot in a school shooting. Its scary, sure, but the risk is miniscule.
It wont happen to you.

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