Here's your horoscope.

This is from Prosh! The students at University of Western Australia release their satirical newspaper “Prosh” once a year as a fundraiser for charity - flooding the streets of Perth in wild costumes selling the papers at intersections, train stations, cafes - anywhere people will be passing by. It’s a tradition, and quite the spectacle. Locals are greeted in the morning rush hour traffic by the most jovial, and largest group of young adults they’ve ever seen before 8 am - wondering why there are nurses and T Rexes and boys in sexy police skirts running through traffic. Then the penny drops, they fork over a fiver for a paper, and everyone goes about their day.

Gemini - your FBI agent goes to therapy because of you

Hahahahaha

Finally something usefull. Sorry not sorry my FBI agent.

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special, deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you.

But let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.

Love that Pisces isn't mean because the author knows how sensitive they are

I think I was born in like...9 out of 12 months.

As an Aquarius limp ramen noodle, I can relate to this horoscope. Trick is, I HAVE gotten used to being alone, and enjoy it. Now I'm going to go and weep quietly in the corner.

Horo/scopes are such bullshit anyone could relate to all of these. Just broad strokes with charged language to make people feel known by the universe.

I've never believed in horoscopes until just now, when I read the Scorpio section.

Funny enough to begin with, but what makes it even better is that mine is actually somewhat accurate.

as an aquarius this is very relatable

As a Libra, I feel called out

I'm a Virgo and now I feel depressed. :(

Meeh, mine's not that bad 🤷 😂.

Virgo is spot on