it really makes sense

Fake for any of those wondering.
But keeping employees based on how many lines of code they have written, which he did, is essentially the same logic.
- Ernest Hemingway was paid by the word, which shows in his work. I imagine this pay structure would have a similar effect on how people code.
  
  Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought that saying was for Dickens? Wasn’t Hemingway famously terse?
  
  I'm not a coder, but wanting code that isn't streamlined seems like a bad plan to me.
- I would do so poorly there, in many ways …. I love those days when my lines of code is negative
  
  There are 2 things in coding that are incredibly satisfying for me:
  Compiling after implementing a fuckton of features
  Deleting a massive amount of code after refactoring for a while
- My ass would just write functions that take a huge amount of parameters and assign one in each line
- Oh the amount of redundant code I would write

Employee that was mining crypto on the side is hella stoked at this news.
- Meanwhile his mate sitting across from him was gpu mining
- Probably mining dogecoin or something else Musk would like.

So, the bonus goes to the guy who was playing Factorio when he should have been working?
- Isn't Factorio very optimized, not in the sense that it uses all system resources completely, but in the sense that it has very efficient code enabling millions of operations and increasing without needing much more system resources to scale it?
  I would definitely go with Arma in this case. Although it has very heavy calculations for a lot of things to start with, it can't scale well and cause CPU bottleneck very soon.
  
  Factorio definitely taxes CPU usage heavily if you're building a mega base. Don't get me wrong, it's gotta be a big ass base, but you could just import somebody's monstrosity and run it in the background.
  
  It is pretty well optimized. I think it might not be, like, genius-level amazing, but the devs care about performance and worked to improve it.
  In the end though, it's a game where the entire map (as generated so far) is simulated - I think there's cases where chunks go to sleep, but it's not Minecraft's "stop simulating anything not next to a player". When combined with players building lots of machines moving many, many items around, you'll inevitably end up with some serious CPU usage. Not a problem on a decent computer, but I have had friends struggle on weak laptops, even getting dropped as they literally couldn't keep up with the server.
  
  So i played through factorio once and i gotta say cpu isn't that big of a problem. Ram is tho. Had 20% cpu utilisation in my end base but like 80% ram usage. I had 16 gb at that time, i specifically bought 64 gb just to make sure i can play factorio without problems😂
  
  Modded minecraft bb
- If you want to crush a cpu it's Dwarf Fortress time.

I’m glad to hear this is fake but it seemed 100% believable to me
- The part where it said "Christmas Bonus" should have been the tip off...
  
  That's because you assume it means financial reward but the real reward is the privilege to serve the company, what a bonus!
  
  Or just "bonus."
- That's the joke.
  Elon is so random and unpredictable that you can make up just about anything about him and nobody will really know if it's satire or not....

- I haven't even had to turn my heater on during work hours this year thanks to Android Studio.
  
  The install process for Android Studio should also prompt you to download more ram, it's unacceptable that they don't.
- Lmao true. Having to open that piece of shit always causes me so much pain
- I wonder how my CPU is benchmarking since 3 minutes ago?

I assume this is fake since no one at X is getting a Christmas bonus.
- it was edited from "salary" to "christmas bonus"
- "You wasted trillions of cycles, then ask me for Money?!?" - Elon, probably

I love receiving a bonus for mining Bitcoin on company hardware

cat /dev/urandom | grep "dickhead"
- %0|%0

Write batch file listing the contents of c: recursively and changing to c:\windows doing it again, then loop.
???
Employee of the century, free brothel on mars.
- Just exec a fork bomb
- Run prime95 in the background of all of your work. Even when you go home, leave it running.... 24/7 100% CPU usage.
  
  Have those PCs do something useful and run folding@home, that way this company would actually benefit humanity for once

So those who misuse company assets to enrich themselves b mining crypto get rewarded by larger bonuses? Sounds like the way the world works for those super rich fellas like Elon "Edgelord" Musk.

I so hope this is fake, because this is so stupid, even by Space Karen standards.
- Wasn't he firing people based on number of, or lack of, code commits at one point? Even if this isn't real, it's still very on-brand.
  
  Lines of code too iirc. This is about equally accurate.
  
  That’s what this is satirizing, yeah
  
  He was also doing that examination by having people print out the code for him to read apparently

Is this real?
- I can't even tell anymore
  His entire life is a shitpost incarnate, and not a very good one
- I have no idea but I had the same question. I also love the fact that We'd believe that he'd do something like this.
  Please tell me it's real.

Monero, here we come!

Folding@Home it is
- Best answer. Very underrated
  
  Agreed
- I remember keeping that thing running on my ps3 constantly back in the day. If I wasn't gaming I was Folding@Home. It's such a shame they didn't bring that back for the ps4/5

Oh god he'd actually do this and employees would have to try to get the weakest CPU possible so percentage utilisation would be higher.
- just run a stress cpu program 24/7
  
  Suddenly everyone at Twitter starts mining crypto.
  
  Do folding at home
  
  Just get a pentium 4 and open outlook 2016

Allright, everyone install Prime95 for best bonus.

I'd have the biggest bonus at my company.
Old school RuneScape 😎

Time to play modded minecraft during company time

Prime95 for maximum bonus!

Sweet all that time playing TF2 will finally pay off!

Mining away~

while true; do npm ci; done

So the Janitor gets nothing and the guy slacking off playing Deathloop gets a fortune.

- Or mine some crypto! CPU mining hasn't been profitable since like 2010 but it could work in this scenario.

gentoo users stay winning

Time to forkbomb
- Better yet, mine monero on as many machines as possible for extra profit

Just turn on a cryptocurrency cpu miner.

He should base it off RAM too. I mean, when you work, you must have millions of tabs open.

My dad who clicks every pop up he sees is slated to make some serious bank.

Cool, I will be able to solve those advent of code challenges without optimising my code!

If we’re going of usage percentage I would like the finest single core system as my daily work machine.

let there be elden ring
and then fat coinpurse

I wish my company did the same, instead of the IT giving out to me for running two virtual machines on my laptop all the time...

Keep so much shit running on my work computer I’d be loaded