1y ago

She broke it so she could baguette properly....

154 comments

She needs to watch French movies where they always have a baguette sticking out of their grocery bag.
- only one baguette? smh
  
  Needs more cigarette.
- It's always a baguette and some celery
  
  Those are leeks sir
  
  Leafy carrot
- I was camping in France. It really is like that every morning. Some of them even bite into it as soon as they leave the bakery.
  There even are baguette dispensers on the street. You put 1€ in it, a tasty baguette comes out.

This bagette doesn't look lovely nor fresh
- If it's in that kind of bag (with little holes in it), it was definitely freshly baked that day. That kind of bag is designed to keep the bread crispy, but it can only be used on the day it was baked, or the bread will become hard as rock the next day. If a loaf is going to be kept and sold the next day, it has to be rebagged into a solid plastc bag to keep it fresh. "Lovely" is subjective. It's a grocery store baguette.
  
  Plasticbags for bread feel very sus.
  
  Ok, in all fairness it may very well be freashly baked, but from a factory. This bagette is made industrially. It's very clear from it's appearance (even ignoring the plastic bag). This bagette does not taste good and in only few hours time it will be dry as hell.
  As a proud snail slurper, I don't trust no bagette coming in a plastic bag!

So? Do you usually eat the baguette as a whole, deepthroating the thing or what?
- How else do I prepare for my sword swallowing competition
  
  I have.....thoughts.
- Does smoosh the shit out of about 20% of the loaf. Definitely a bummer.
- They were probably going to make one of those really long sandwiches like on Scooby Doo

+1 point for bending it half
+10 points if she used her knee
- 20 if she blew smoke in your face and told you to get out
  
  Ah, nineties Spar. The pick-and-mix was right under her ashtray. I can still taste the strawberry laces with a hint of Pall Mall.

I'm sorry the title joke was stolen from beard_necessities_of_life on insta. Hbomberguy video has me scared of plagiarism
- You've done it now. I can't wait for the 7 hour exposé on your crimes
- So? It's not like you're gonna get banned here, lol 😂.
  
  Who knows? That hbomberguy is relentless.
- Ha. I don't think I even read the title. I didn't even see the pun until I read your comment. So I'm glad you cited your source.

Pretty sure the baguette still works.
Personally, I tend to eat half by the time I get to the car, so I would consider this good customer service.
- I'm french and I've never heard about breaking a baguette being "bad". Sure, the broken tips are gonna go dry a little faster but it's not a big deal

I think I'm too european to understand this meme
- Plastic wrapped baguette??
  
  That's weird as well, but what I meant is in Europe you pack your groceries yourself
  
  I'm from the "European country" known as UK and every single major store sells plastic wrapped baguettes. You only see them in paper in the smaller shops
  
  It's a plastic bag with tiny holes in it. These are on the store floor, where people can grab a baguette for themselves. The plastic keeps the braguette relatively safe, and the holes allow moisture to escape, keeping the baguette crispy for the day
- Oddly enough, most American supermarkets put every baguette they bake that day (if they bake it that day) in plastic bags. Although in this case, I believe they mean that they broke the baguette in the plastic bag in half so it would fit in the bag with the rest of the groceries.
- The meme is also European, from Ireland. That said, I'm more interested which Spar is selling long enough baguettes that they don't fit in a bag. My local shops don't.
  
  I know lidl sell the big baguettes like this
- Americans still feeling superior because their country has solved this problem by selling sliced bread.
  
  Imagine buying a presliced baguette tho ahahah
  
  meh, as if europe had no bread slicing machines in supermarkets

Never understood (or experienced) having my purchases bagged for me when I do groceries
- From the grocery store's perspective, at least in the US, it keeps the checkout lines moving way faster when some kid who is trained to bag groceries does it, rather than waiting for the customer to figure out how to pack it.
  
  All grocery stores where I live have this device consisting of swivelling plank separating the packing area into two. If someone is slow at bagging the clerk will simply move the plank and all groceries go into the second half where the second person can bag them. It gives the first person time to bag and the next customer again has their groceries place in the first half.
  
  You say this, but it never seems to be an issue here. Its a cultural thing i guess but people seem to manage without
  
  Since most US people go to the market by car why do they need to pack? When I shop by car I just throw everything in the cart and then everything in the trunk, I only pack meat and some other moisty stuff
  
  And yet somehow this isn't a problem at all in countries where we don't have people bagging our groceries. Checkouts very rarely have any downtime where we need to wait on people to finish bagging. Even with old people.
- It creates jobs.
  
  You're not the first one to say so, but a job that exist just to create jobs sounds like a bad excuse. Why would a store just create jobs?
- A lot of the time it exists to provide jobs essentially.
- When you have a family of three and you're shopping for them by yourself and have to put them on the conveyor belt without help, it's a big time saver.
  
  The people i see who have loaded carts, usually just pop everything back into the cart and repack either when they offload into the car or before they exit the store

unbroken baguettes are a privilege of those who use reusable bags and bag their own groceries
- wait... Bread comes as single units?

Step 1) Establish dominance with the customer

First world problems. I wouldn't give a shit because I am cutting that thing up anyway.
- Yeah, I was thinking this is a bit ridiculous. That sucker looks to be an easy 2 or so feet long. Unless you're making something that's extremely long it's getting cut up anyway.
  Squashing bread is a true crime.

My first thought when I saw this post was, "That's not a baguette, that's french bread." I never connected that the gigantic long bread at the store with the stale dry crust that they label as "french bread" is supposed to be a baguette, which is French. Like they are too ashamed to actually call it a baguette because it kind of sucks but that's definitely what it's supposed to be.
Is french bread a regional thing in the US?
- They call it stick bread (stokbrood) where I'm from, and I've seen it called french sticks in the UK. I guess we all just can't accept the french having a reasonable name for something.
  
  ‘Baguette’ is literrally the French word for stick.
- In the US, baguette refers to the shape, so you can get a "sourdough baguette" which is not French style bread, or "sourdough french bread" which can be either sourdough in baguette shape or a round loaf of French style sourdough or American style sourdough made with French sourdough culture and you can get "French sandwich rolls" and "Sliced French bread" which are both made with the same ingredients that French baguettes are- flour, water, yeast and salt.

I mean, how else are you gonna make the sandwich anyway?
- Wait...you mean you're telling me you don't deepthroat your entire baguette in one bite???
  
  So there are people out there that don't unhinge their jaw to eat an entire sub, olive-on-a-toothpick included?
  
  What a loser! Wow. We should point and laugh.

As a french baguette amateur I can confirm this is how you pack a traditional industrial baguette.
- Industrial baguette would break you, not the other way around
  
  Industrial baguettes are made out of steel in a lathe

Life pro tip, never eat the middle part of a baguette in France
- Were you gonna expand on that?
  
  The armpit section

Where I come from they'd tie her limbs to 3 horses and have the horses run away from each other.
- Which horse gets two limbs?
  
  That is such an ableist comment omg
  
  Gary
  
  maybe one arm or leg gets to remain intact.
- Does it matter if that removed is getting cut up anyway? Unless you're about to Scooby Do that shit

This lady sounds mad. I'd be impressed at how real that cashier is keeping it.

Hérétique

Nice of your grocery store to pay for someone to bag your groceries, though. Ours pretty much just throws it on the floor for us to deal with.

Just walk over and grab another one and more cheese because you probs didn't buy enough cheese

Image Transcription: Twitter Post
Tara Gráinne Ní Chonghaile, @TaraGrace_
A shout out to the girl at the till in my local Spar who broke our lovely fresh baguette in half to "make it fit in the bag"
[An image of a baguette in a plastic wrapper. The baguette is seperated in two halves and both halves are folded together like a hinge.]

They do this with Cuban bread here all the time (they do ask). Presumably you aren't making one yard long sandwich.
- That would drive me nuts.
  Honestly, It's just I wanna be the one who breaks my bread. ☹️

It's a regional thing in the Midwest at least. It's always called French bread in the grocery and even the fancy European style bakery downtown calles it a "FRANCESE" instead of a baguette.

I always break them. Fuck em French
Edit: typo
- Brake? Break?
  
  Break. I was in a hurry and LOS has minimal correction

Imagine this being the hardship in your life

154 comments