Names

These people don't even read their own literature. The Catholic church's ban on alchemy is about falsely claiming something is a valuable metal in order to pay for debts. It has nothing to do with the occult -- the ban was because it's a sin to lie / cheat / steal. A saint is even on record saying that alchemical gold is ok if the end if product is real gold.

With that context, of course God doesn't give a shit if you use SQLAlchemy as long as you aren't using it to defraud people. If you were defrauding people, it wouldn't matter what tool you used.

.

I'm shocked that a person who thinks the name of a piece of software can harm them doesn't understand their own religion.
- I mean, these are the same people who won't watch Big Bang Theory because the title is heretical, or believe that playing Magic the Gathering or Pokemon TCG are literally summoning demons and spirits into the world, or who believe that playing D&D is doing the same. Rationality is not exactly their strong suit.
Now of course one could make some damning argument about the state of the tech industry in practice, resulting in one of those bell curve memes with "using SQLalchemy is a sin" on both far sides and "noooo it's just a name it's fine there's no fraud involved" in the middle
If you were defrauding people, it wouldn't matter what tool you used.

Stays silent while coding the JezuzLovezU worm...
- Jesus, he knows me, and he knows I'm right
Well, god generally doesn't give a shit at all if he exists, so there's that.
God would have to exist to give any shits at all
And here i thought they banned alchemy because they learned from a copper trader.

Better not tell them about daemons I guess.

From the title of the screenshot I was sure it was going to be about daemons.
Or about the D.E.V.I.L.S. format listing option on ffmpeg
- Or FreeBSDs mascot

Just wait until they learn about Daemons

And killing children.
- Master/slave systems are probably a-ok for them though.
- They'd probably be fine with that as long as they're not unborn
- And detaching/reattaching git heads.

I don’t see how the term “Alchemy” is any different than “Transubstantiation”, and the Catholic Church seems pretty down with that.

Imagine living your entire life with this kind of fear. Religion does crazy things to people’s minds.

You say that and yet... APIs and XML-RPC are essentially the same thing. But APIs don't make me wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.
- You... You shut your removed mouth. We don't talk about xml here
- Yeah. I consider it important to maintain a healthy agnosticism about the possibility of heaven. It's dangerous to wait to start living as the person I want to be!
  
  But on the topic of hell - well, I've needed to make two computers talk to eachother using the XML specification. I know that hell is very real.
it's a severe mental illness brought on by trauma and people act like it's the most normal thing ever :/
Looking at the comments in that thread, people seem to agree that the question is silly
Not exclusive to religions.

"Is xy considered vegan?"

That pattern. Wanting to belong to something bigger i guess?
Is Alchemy even religious? Or is just anything spiritual scary to them?
Import SQLTransubstantiation is a lot of work for python coders.

Yet they say “Easter Eggs”, referring to a Pagan tradition. As hypocritical as it gets.

They celebrate christmas, a pagan tradition they literally stole, the whole thing is fucking clownshoes
- And yet they shit on Halloween
- Nah, that's OK 'cuz they forked the tradition
My favorite thing about the "easter egg" he specifically mentions is that Alembics are still used in chemistry to this day. They are just a way to condense vaporized gasses and collect them.
- I mean, the largest denomination of Christianity ^(Catholicism) is overrun with pedophiles. The whole thing is obviously bullshit.

The user shouldn't code in Python. That's a fucking serpent. It caused Eve to eat the apple. Original sin. Holy shit, the most popular coding language is from the fucking devil! Mask off, mind blown, what the eff.

On that note, I sure hope he doesn’t uses any Apple products either.
- TL;DR The fruit of the tree of knowledge being a literal apple is non-canon, being entirely based on a pun.
  
  The word "apple" is not used in the Bible, that is, unless the Bible in question is a translation that specifically uses that word. Even then, see below.
  
  The whole apple thing comes from:
  
  the fact that the word for "apple" can be used as a synonym for "(any) fruit" in some languages and context, and so could mean any fruit.
  
  Think about French pomme de terre for "potato" which is literally "apple (meaning 'fruit') of the earth". Dutch has aardappel (earth apple) which is the same thing. Fun fact: Old English eorþæppel (earth apple) allegedly meant "cucumber". Go figure. But I digress.
  
  Latin is the main ecclesiastical language for one particularly influential branch of Christianity and one word for apple in Latin is "malus". That sounds like a lot of unrelated Latin words that start "mal-" that mean bad or evil, thus an apparent connection to the fruit of the tree of knowledge also leading to evil.
  
  (I mean, it might actually be a proto-apple of some sort (modern apples did not exist 7000 years ago or whenever it was supposed to be) but the Bible doesn't specify.
  
  Some scholars think that the whole thing developed out of metaphor for abandoning a hunter-gatherer lifestyle for farming. Others think that it might be a reference to beer / alcohol, which is one of the first things humans got interested in after farming.)
- I mean, that Apple logo has a bite out of it. Eve's bite! And it ships with Python!
  
  Someone call the Inquisition!
- I was genuinely taught by my churh not to use apple products for this exact reason. The youth leaders went on a whole tangent about the symbolism. They thought Apple, the company, was trying to trick us all into satanism.
  
  It was a little bit like that video of the lady preaching about Monster energy drinks. Oh, and you better believe they showed us all that video unironically.
  
  But c'mon, at least Monster is supposed to be edgy. Apple is literally just an apple. Insanity, I tell you
Python is actually named after Monty Python's Flying Circus, so it isn't a serpent. It is so much worse.
- The python in monty python does refer to the snake.
Snakes are inherently evil! Don't even LOOK at one or breathe an oxygen atom that's ever touched the tongue of a snake!
#SayingTheQuietPartOutLoud

Computer programmers are the devil.
- They do some sorcery

This is the kind of person who would stick to IDE (with master and slave disks ofc) because S-ATA is only an N away from eternal damnation

... My initial thought was Santa, not Satan ...
- Ho ho ho 😈
- It do be the holiday season.
Church lady has entered the chat...

I just skimmed this but shouldn't people who are unable/ubwilling to live in the modern world be true to themselves and also not code in some demonic language?

Just skip it and piss off dear catholic

Wait until they learn about daemons
- Even the real daemons are just spirits it's the Christians who literally demonized them.
  
  The idiocy goes back more than a millenium.
- I had a crazy Catholic prepper neighbor way back in '99 (she was the hipster of preppers, one of the things she railed about was all the people prepping just for y2k when she had already been doing it for years, but that's another story) and one of her things was how evil bill gates was- so I told her Linux was evil-er because of the daemons. Gave her a lot to think about.
- Does that command refer to the His Dark Materials thing? I thought regular demons were spelt without the a, but maybe it's an old spelling.

Poor Mormons can't use Java.

They should not be using Python. Or anything from Apple. Remember the original sin!

And Powersh***, of course, and this thing because of the C-word.
What I heard was that they can have cold but not hot caffeine. Does that mean they can use Java only on well cooled computers? Or does java refer to a specific kind of coffee (that is not cold)? Well apparently Java is an island in Indonesia where Java coffee is grown. That would mean that Java could be cold brew and that they can so long as their computer is cool enough for it not to be considered hot. The exact definition of hot is tricky, though cold brew is typically served at refrigerated temperatures which would mean the computer would need sub-ambient cooling.

Tldr: they need a computer with sub-ambient cooling.
- Or maybe it means they can't use a JVM with hot-reloading? Java is fine but JIT with Java is sinful?
- As an exmo, it is specifically a ban on coffee and tea (not herbal tea, caffeinated tea). Some are strict and extrapolate this to mean "caffeine" and some are literalists that chug Mountain Dew. It's very weird. As an aside: one of the names of ephedra is "Mormon tea".
🤣
Nor can we host our projects on gittea, or run windows apps in WINE

It must be exhausting to go through life saddled with so much mental bullshit.

Not surprising considering Catholicism scores quite high on the BITE model for cults.
The thing about mental bullshit is that it's invisible to the person who's got it.

So look in the mirror now and then.
- If it was invisible then they wouldn't be asking this question
- Look in the mirror for something invisible?

import SQLAlchemy as SQLJesus

Problem solved

That's taking the LORD's name in vain which, according to Catholicism, is considered blasphemy which is literally THE single worst type of sin you can commit. See you in the 9th circle!
- is it? I checked the dictionary and it doesn't seem like they're doing anything in vain. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vain
  
  having or showing undue or excessive pride in one's appearance or achievements : conceited
  
  it's literally the opposite of pride. they're using his name to hide something they're ashamed of
  
  marked by futility or ineffectualness : unsuccessful, useless vain efforts to escape
  
  also the opposite, they're trying to use his name in an effective manner to solve a problem
  
  having no real value : idle, worthless vain pretensions
  
  same as the previous, it would have a worth to them
  
  archaic : foolish, silly
  
  again, they're using it for schoolwork, which is educated, not foolish
more like SQLCrusader

I used to have an rpg on steam, with "fantasy" in the name. One day someone sent me an email asking if there was any way to remove all references to magic from the game so they could play it, as having witches and stuff was a big no for them, but they still wanted to try the game.

I remember when Bioshock Infinite came out, a few weirdos were demanding refunds because in the first 10 minutes of the game, a scene with a bunch of cultists requires you to click a button to "Accept Baptism" from them. They were refusing to push the button on religious grounds, and so they soft locked themselves out of playing the rest of the game. Smh.
- Add a "refuse" button that pops up a short text box detailing the consequences. The End, credits roll. Problem solved, now they can all go explain to everyone on the forums why this is the best ending
- Reminds me of Alundra on the PS1, where at some point the game forced you to accept praying in a church; I tried to reject it but the game wouldn't let me. It ended up being plot relevant in the end, as
  
  spoiler
  
  you prayed to some demon or something and that allowed him to enter your dreams or something like that, I don't remember too well)
I hope you sent them a 0kb game.exe with the tagline "here u go mate, god bless"
- If you're under a very tight constraint, you could send 'em .kkrieger in just under 100kb
I would immediately patch in a "no witches" mode.

Every instance of "witch" is replaced with "warlock".

And if there were graphics, every witch would have a photorealistic penis hanging out the front of ~~her~~ his robes.
Sure fam, unchecks "Magic, Witches and stuff".

Then they can interact with peasant NPCs all day long.
- Hello there, stranger! I seem to have misplaced my ring! You look gullible enough that I can trick you into looking for it for me, because I am too lazy to do it myself!
You know, it would be really nice if some of them actually knew what that book was talking about sometimes. From my understanding the Bible describes and condemns witchcraft as making deals with evil for power, and basically uses it as condemnation of thinking that the ends can ever justify the means by taking things to the logical extreme.

In most modern settings at least, magic is either an inerhant trait, lots of carful study, or a bargain with a benign spirit of some variety.

There’s is admittedly a long history of people missing the point of this, most of which stated by an utter loon trying to get back at is ex. The people at the time utterly ignored medieval Karen, but this drove him to rant a lot in writings which then got used as a source by latter assholes to justify gojng after the people they wanted to get back at.

All of which ignores the obvious of course, which is to say the Bible doesn’t say you can’t experience story’s about sin in the first place.
- Isn't almost all of the Bible (as in everything leading up to Jesus and then also most of the reality Jesus encountered) a story about sin?
- And OP talks about Alchemy, which commonly uses the energy that different materials have inherently to create magical artifacts.
  
  It's literally using what God already created.

Alchemy isn't even a strictly occult thing. It was something done in the medieval era that was basically a very early form of science before most of the things they were trying to do were considered impossible

If Jesus really turned water into wine then what would you call that if not alchemy?
- That was just good BYOB manners.
"science".... That's just a road to hell with extra steps.
I mean alchemy is an occult practice. It's just history only pays attention to the physical aspects (turning things into gold, etc). Often times the medium to turn a substance into gold is called the philosophers stone

But this is only a portion of it. The philosophers stone in alchemy is actually spiritual enlightenment or becoming one with everything. Hence the concept of turning anything into gold, gold being enlightenment and the universe and the plain material before the transformation is preenlightened individuals. They all become the same (one, gold) after attaining it.

Most alchemical philosophy is occult/spiritual and the chemistry aspects are a metaphor for the evolution of the soul.

I think because modernity is mostly materialist in its philosophy that we ignore the underlying spirituality associated with alchemy
And, to the extent that it was occult, it was typically biblical occultism. There was a big emphasis on the wisdom of Solomon in particular.
The church did frown upon it at the time, if I recall. For example, Newton spent years on alchemy yet that's forgotten
- Glad he didn't overdose on alchemy

Yes, it is. Please quit our profession and become a Mechanicus Techpriest.

Or, I guess, learn perl - it's sort of into that kind of thing.

This person is really gonna hate my new web framework "I submit to the horned lord, Lucifer, the light bringer and ruler of this world. All hail Satan."

I think it's gonna be big since it's the only web framework for Malbolge.

I don't understand how you wrote a framework in Malbolge, but chances are good that you don't either.
Lucifer and Satan aren't the same entity.

These are titles not names
- It's OK. I'm making a joke, not calling the corners... Though I guess this could be sort of a ward for a software community, but I think it wouldn't have to be any kind of accurate to work given the entity it's keeping out.
- Depends on how you interpret the Golden Age text. But you're correct that the former is the light bringer and the latter is adversary/legal opponent.
  
  But the silver age crap messed with that canon.
  
  My head canon is that Lucifer was a member of the Q Continuum while Satan was a misunderstood Time Lord.
  
  The Pope needs to have a sit-down with the folks at Disney to learn how to properly manage a shared imaginary universe.

Oooh spooky alembics ⚗⚗⚗

The tool of the trade of those occultist sinners in Morrowind
- Mmm, hours at the computer, creating all these demonic potions of alchemy +XXX.

Future TempleOS user

[...]tempted [to use] another tool called "Peewee"

Oh yes, OOP is definitely a Catholic priest

Use Ark to compress all your files and place them in a shielded metal box. Save yourself from the flood of solar flares that God will send to rid the world of all the sinful data. Make sure to include exactly 2 copies of each of God’s programs.

Based on the comments in here, this joke went over many heads... Does not want to use a tool called Alchemy, but has tried one called Peewee, as in using Peewees in catholic church is ok (Peewees is referred to kids in amateur sports between 12-13 years of age)

Peewees is referred to kids in amateur sports between 12-13 years of age

that's probably the missing piece of information for most ^^'

Just fork it and name it something else.

Religions have been doing this for millenia.
- I hearby excumicate myself from the religion of c++ to start the far superior religion of c#. All those who remain with that heathonistic static class oriented language shall burn in the pits of compiler hell.
Know what else is forked? A snake's tongue. Like the one that made Eve eat the apple. Heresy!
How about SQLeviticus or HolyGraiSQL?
- S(i)QL: Spanish Inquisition query language
this is called heresy (until it gets popular enough)
Sire, we've found a witch! May we burn her?

The sinful tools with occult names work. I think that should be a big pointer here.

Witchcraft is not only common in the tech world, its nessecary.

You ever install a server into a rack? Its impossible not to slice your finger a little bit. Thats because the tech gods require a blood sacrifice.

Code is just spells, carefully crafted to bind and control the spirits of the machine.

Vim is an actual demon, summoned and dismissed by the use of mysterious ancient runes.
- Magic smoke is real.
I got that reference.

This man probably hesitates to pick up a screwdriver when assembling IKEA furniture

It's for the best we wouldn't want him to hurt himself.
Don't we all?
Phillips heads have a cross on it, and you probably shouldn't use a cross like that so they're a no-go. Jesus was nailed to the cross, so using nails is bad. You better be safe and just not drive anything into wood for that matter...

Poor thing. Wait until they learn what a single python did to humanity.

"I installed Python on my Apple notebook. Guys.... am I responsible for the Fall of Man?"

This post was a joke but I once had a woman scream at me for an hour that her account number had 666 in the middle of it. She was extremely upset that nobody warned her about this. She wanted a new account AND a refund for the entire time that the "sinful" account was active.

I should mention that her account was 15 years old at the time. The number never changed during that time it was always the same. She screamed so long and hard that they gave her a credit that essentially covered an entire year of service. I hate it here 😀

My ex wife did that with a new bank account years ago with 666 in it. I don't recall her screaming at anyone, but, it was embarrassing , nonetheless, to watch her go around and around with a banker on the issue.
America needs a reboot

Yeah well then. Classroom evolution by selection for superstition at its finest.

This seems like a poor attempt to get out of an assignment. Religion can be so convenient sometimes.

Yes, yes it is. So is using Python and Apple. In fact, best you steer clear off of computers.

I'm not Catholic but I'm pretty sure the answer is no.

Playing games with religious themes is also not a sin, as you are expected to understand the difference between fact and fiction.

My source is that one of my best friends is Catholic

If they understood the difference between fact and fiction they wouldn't be a catholic. They're supposed to believe that crackers and wine literally turn into Jesus's body and blood by saying an incantation. Alchemy makes more sense than that, so I could see some people having issues.
- No, no literally, figuratively.
  
  The fact is there is no evidence for existance of God. But also there is no evidence that disproves the existence of God.
  
  But still... there was a guy 2000 years ago that said "There is God"
  
  And whole religion is based on a question "do I believe the guy that lived 2000 years ago"
  
  And I said yes and I don't care what your answer is.
  
  Just don't be a douchebag.
- No, it symbolically turns into the flesh and blood of Christ.
  
  God this kind of edge Lord bad theology bullshit is one of the reasons why I'm glad I'm not allowed to read it anymore. Do I have to see it here too?
I grew up Catholic. The answer might be yes because weird things are considered sins, but there's a built in mechanism for getting around that.

Confession is used for way worse things than "I used the devil's tool at the instruction of my teacher"
- Bro one of my best friends is literally catholic, but he is also a furry, and he has played Cult of the Lamb without any guilt. This is because he can differentiate between fact and fiction, he can tell the difference between a sincerely held religious belief, and something that someone made up is a fun joke.
  
  I am not a christian, but as someone who interacts with someone of the faith long enough to get the gist, and see how he behaves, it really makes me roll my eyes when I see someone who claimed that they went to Catholic School that one time when they were like seven, and they saw two nuns making creationism in the closet, and one of the creationisms looked at them.
Hehe, religious people and understanding the difference between fact and fiction... 😂

I mean the very root of it is doing away with facts, and just keeping the fiction.
- I really thought I left the perpetually 14 Edgelord Atheists behind when I left Reddit

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/Catholicism/comments/18ab5p9/is_using_a_tool_with_an_occult_name_a_sin/

I'm relieved to see some sane responses in that thread (although not from OP..)

They don't have a problem using a tool that is called psycho tho.

Literally telling a chip made of sand how to think. God would be furious.

Isn't preaching (i.e. telling people how to think) the basis of all religion, especially christianity and especially catholicism?
- Yeah, but preaching is only acceptable when it's done by a pedophile dressed like he's from the 1950s.

Feels like a "render unto Caesar" non problem

Side note if you can't figure out how to use psycopg2 in a 5 line tutorial you have even less ability than you thought you did

He's supposed to be using TempleOS and coding i HolyC

Stuff like this just further reinforces my conviction that religion is absolutely deranged and MUST be abolished.

You really believe the post is non fiction?
- I know too many people who would say this exact thing to immediately assume it's satire.

That's okay I don't work with anybody named Matthew Mark Luke or John. Don't get me started on Jesus and his ricer Honda.

Jesus may have his own Honda, but the disciples were all in one Accord.

I recommend SQLitany when flexing your cross joined faith in the DB (daily bread).

Is there a link to the original post? I want to see the replies. Unfortunately I can't find it.

The name of the tool doesn't matter, the subject of the OP is still a sinner 👹

Reminder that alchemy didn't go away, it evolved into modern chemistry. So of you think alchemy is occult then you better take a good look at all the engineered chemicals around you and either accept your place in hell or go live in a cave.

Hehe. I get it. But it's not really true. It's like saying a horse evolved into a car or an Ox into a tractor. Just because it replaced it or did the same job doesn't mean it's related or the initial thing didn't go away. Alchemy is putting together random substances to create gold. Chemistry is backed by science and rooted in reality. It's probably closer related to cooking (where you also mix substances) than to alchemy 😉 Pseudoscience didn't do away, but I'm positive alchemy did.
- Fair point!

My favourite is a forum question about a first-person shooter called "Still Not Dead" where you are chased by zombies, floating skulls and spiders carrying upside-down crucifixes: Does this have any satanic references in it?. Good quotes:

I would buy the game if it didn't have any of that stuff in it.

I already told you why, I hate 666 and pentagrams

Preach!

We definitely need more games changed. I consider it to be the major victory when we petitioned that satanic game DOOM to be changed and got Super 3D Noah's Ark

"Duke kills aliens which arent real and saves babes, chivalry" might be the funniest thing I've ever read

This was posted on r/Catholicism, one of the many subreddits where people discuss niche topics with likeminded people. If this bothers you, then don’t subscribe to r/Catholicism…

Who said anything about being bothered? It's deranged and hilarious.
- Disordered; especially, disordered in mind; crazy; insane.
  
  This is hardly deranged, there is a lot worse than this which is more deserving of that description IMO lol