1y ago

What should I call my son (due at the end of April)

Im having difficulty finding names I like. I need two - three names that roll off the tongue and wouldn't be out of place with a long hyphenated surname.

No religious names

No surnames

No places

Nothing that rhymes with Aden

Upvote good suggestions otherwise post ones. Bonus points if it's a sci-fi name.

Edit: lots of good suggestions, but I think I'm going with 'Wash'.

182 comments

Lemmy McLemmyface
- OP may have made a tactical error asking this on the internet
  
  There are no bad suggestions.
  
  They aren't leaving it to a vote though.
- I hope this wins

Megatron
Not religious
Not a surname
Not a place
Doesn't rhyme with Aden
Is a sci-fi name
The only issue little Megatron will ever face in life is the possibility of an Optimus Prime showing up some day, he's otherwise right on the path to world domination, and who couldn't love that? 😉
- Our Savior Megatron is absolutely a religious name and blasphemy to name some fleshy lump with it.
- Although, they'll call him Meg for short
- And Starscream for a younger brother
- The Autobots still haven't stopped Sunny Megatron so the kid will probably be ok.

Slartibartfast?
- We do live in a country with nice crinkley edges.

I'm very partial to early bronze age names.
Epirmupi
Manishtushu
Tiglath
Inshushinak
Labarna
Naramsin
If you look at the Sumerian or Elamite king lists, you really can't go wrong.
- Manishtushu is nearly the worst name i have ever seen. Kids would absolutely wreck that guy all the way to college.
  
  People are going to make fun of the conqueror of Anshan, King of Kish, Ruler of Sumer and Akkad? That seems unlikely to me.
  
  He'll have to get tough or die
- Y u no Ea-Nasir
  
  As soon as I saw bronze age I thought of old Ea-Nasir, was very surprised he wasn't the point of this reply.

I would either go with a easy to remember naming system, something like child_male_0000, or with a type 4 UUID, to avoid naming collisions.

If it's a long complicated surname you can't go wrong with a short simple first name. I'm gonna throw Sam into the ring, after our lord and saviour Samwise.
- Gotta always go with the classics. Steve, Bob, Phil

Please don't name your kid Wash
- That's a long name, but I guess he could shorten it to Pleasy.
- How about Washington?

Andrew, after me
- Excellent suggestion your grace

I hope you don't go with your edit.

My wife won’t let me use “Kaladin,” the name of one of my favorite characters from Brandon Sanderson’s The Stormlight Archive series. But I think it’s an excellent name and has an easy nickname (Kal).
- Call him something you can shorten to Kal. For example, my sister named her kid Callum, but they shorten it to Cal. I know it's because my brother in law is a huge stormlight fan.
- It sounds like a KDE program.
- Spensa? Doomslug? (That one's not the best kid name)

Latitude
Avalanche
Glacier
- Darker than I thought.

Naruto-chan
- or Boruto if you're already called Naruto
  
  Doruto if their hyphenated last name is cool-ranch or nacho-cheese

Jimothy?
Billiam?
Tedward?
- I wish my parents named me Tedward
- I believe you have been watching too many Dr. Glaucomflecken videos, my friend.
  
  I don't know what that is, but now I feel like I should find out.
  Update: I found it. I know nothing about being a doctor, but he's still funny.

Agree with others who have suggested short names. Here's 3, inspired by one guy!

Paul

Kyle

Dale
(I appreciate that Paul is in the Bible, but still...)
- Clarify "Paul" with an appropriate middle name.
  Paul Muadib McPatronyn-Matronymovich
- Paul: What do you call the mouse shadow in the second moon?
  Stilgar: We call that one Muad'Dib.
  Paul: Could I be known as Paul Muad'Dib?
  Stilgar: You are Paul Muad'Dib!
- OOOH OOH WHAT ABOUT THE CAPTAIN!

cornbread
- Bless your heart!

Alex. Simple, gender neutral, not religious (I don't think), not a surname, not a place, doesn't rhyme with Aden.
- I already have an enby friend called Alex, it would be confusing.

Egon
Dax
Ash
Declan
Dana
Kira
Miles
Leland
Zhora
Keeping the rule of shorter first name with longer/complicated last name, I picked a few from my future pet possibility list. Pets names at our house generally have sci-fi origins.
- Odo
  Bashir
  Samanthan
  ...

Perhaps something gender neutral in case they wish to change their gender or name later in life
- I have a Dutch friend who did this.
  
  Named their child or changed their gender?
- I am not trans or anything, but I expected that most would want a name change to move away from their old identity or something.

Go with "Double Anus Hammer Wagon IV"
- Damn it. My son was born a few weeks ago and we named him Robert. I feel like I've missed an opportunity there.

X-Æ-A-XII
- Nah, just X.

There are some decent TNG names that aren't easily identifiable as sci-fi if he grows up not liking the genre. Will Riker, Wesley Crusher, Miles O'Brien, etc.
In Star Wars, Obi-wan is initially known to Luke as Ben Kenobi. You can also pull from actor names too. Liam Neeson played Qui-Gon Jinn.
Depending on what IPs you like and what names you lean towards, maybe look into character/actor names from Blade Runner, Back to the Future, Ender's Game, Mass Effect, Terminator, or whatever else strikes your fancy.
If sci-fi isn't mandatory, there are great secular names alluding to nature, minerals/elements, and the cosmos, such as Heath, Flint, and Cosmo respectively. Just keep in mind that whatever you are choosing for him, he has to either live with forever or go through the headache of a legal name change if he hates it. So I would shy away from naming him something too out there like Betelgeuse or Eagle or Hurricane. Maybe if you have any sort of cultural ties, you can allude to that on some level by using a translation to your ancestors' language or something like that. For example, if you're sorta distantly Hispanic and wanted to allude to that without being as obvious as choosing Juan or Jose or something like that, "oak tree" translates to "Roble". River is Rio, Brook is Arroyo, etc.
I'm surprised that you're asking the internet and expecting reasonable answers instead of just Omega Fartwagon Supreme. Good luck!

Qrs Tuvwxyz.
- A great name if you want your son to go into the business of forks and marbles.
  
  And, I've just found out, very easy to remember how to spell.
- Careful with that, might catch Captain Janeway's attention (I'm imagining it pronounced Quisses Tuvwiks).
  
  Nearly. The first name is pronounced "Chris". Doubt that'll stop a Starfleet captain with a bloodlust for innocent victims of transporter accidents though.

Homer
- Bort
  
  Morge
  
  'Marge: What about Bart? Homer: Let's see. Bart, dart, cart, e-art. Nope can't see any problems with that.'
- Bartholomew

Pubert!

Seven
- Nah, Soda is better. Use Soda!

Stormageddon.
- In the New York tri-state area there was a well-known TV meteorologist named Frank Field. He had a son whom he named "Storm". A bit on the nose if you ask me. Also, Storm went on to become a TV meteorologist himself.

No religious names
No surnames
No places
Nothing that rhymes with Aden
Bonus points if it’s a sci-fi name
Ford
- That's a surname 😞
  
  Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
  ~Ford Prefect
  
  A lot of given names started as surnames.

What about my favourite, ‘HM Revenue and Customs’

Chungus

Eowen, it means "Bear God"... unless that's too religious.
Arthur and Beowolf are also bear names, if so.
- I thought it was Beowulf
  
  You're absolutely right, but in my defense I was typing while buying thirteen pairs of gloves at a Dollar Tree.

If I may: a good name is good. a name that combines well with the surname is great. Think of Star Wars names: they are great because they mate good names and surnames. Han Solo Boba Fett Cassian Andor etc...
That said, my personal preference is something REALLY old, like Sargon, first ruler of Akkadian Empire, 2400BC. Bonus He/she/they could have also their own personal cuneiform name tattoo: 𒊬𒊒𒄀. Now tell me that's not cool.
good hunting.
- I'm not tattooing my infant son.
  
  good to know, no one is imposing anything here.

Meredith.
After Meredith McKay.

Walter
- Waltuh
  
  Did he come in a bottle?

Chevron with Techron
Wu-Tang Dan
Spaghetti Joe
Emma 2: The Awakening
Shamelessly copied from the wonderful Obvious Plant.

Permanently deleted
- Is sci-fi because of Wesley Crusher from Star Trek
  
  Permanently deleted

Mr Blott

IDK, does Thor or Odin count as a religious name? I always thought Yoda could work as a name.
On the completely awful side, why not Krys?
Trogdor?
- I too vote Trogdor bonus points for middle name Burninator

Alpharius
- Weird... I am also Alpharius

Soda
- Seven Costanza

The Captain.

Gordon Freeman
- Weird Midwife: Rise and shine, Mister Free-man.

It's time to bring back Horace.

Dexter

Kelsier
Dalinar
Raoden

Frodo

"The-Original [Long-Hyphenated-surname]"

I like the name Robert, because it can be shortened to Rob, or Robby or Bob or Bobby. And it means "bright fame." Tom is also a good name, and William or Bill.

Chalupa Batman.

I'm having a daughter at the end of April. We plan on calling her Dylan. You should name him Dylan then they would have a random stranger twin situation.

Sci fi? Roger that! Best I got is:
Velith
Jack
Thomas

Hey son!
- Like Jason but with an H

182 comments