1y ago

Online dating

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To play the devils advocate here, maybe music man has gotten ridiculed before with this question on his music preference. When I'm driving by myself, I'll fire up youtube and listen to all sorts of random stuff. But I'd never subject my wife to it as I know we don't share interest in some things.
- Just lie then, what's the point of acting like this
  
  Just lie then
  Not an ideal in forming relationships. Honestly, as much of a train wreck as his response was, at least it gave some useful information to the person he would potentially be dating.
  
  I don't have an answer for that. I'm not saying he handled it right, just trying to come up with some sort of mindset he may have had to respond like this at all.
  
  I think he was just trying to be coy
  
  I'd think it would feel bad having to lie about the music you listen to. Maybe music man is already past denial and in acceptance, just not telling anyone.
  But perhaps they're just a douche.
- But how did you find out you have different tastes without first ever sharing your music tastes
  
  For sure, dude could have just been more blunt right away about not wanting to share that info (still strange, or maybe just embarrased?). I've never used a dating app, so IDK.
  
  Well, as a metalhead, I've gotten a lot of negative feedback about my music choices.
  When I was using dating apps I would make it clear what type of music I listened to in my profile (metal, punk, classical, folk are my mains).
  Honestly it solved a lot of issues.
  
  She probably said to him, "your music sucks, can I put mine on?".
- That's the perfect moment to know if someone will ridicule you for your music choices. If it happens, you stop the conversation right there and save yourself the trouble of a awful first date.
  Well, even saying that you can't remember the song because you snorted cocaine out of your adult diaper is better than being a jerk.
- Even if that’s the reason, still, come on
- I've had a girl straight up say to me in my car, "your music sucks, can I put mine on?" And I still wouldn't act this way
  
  I'm not saying it's right, but I'd contemplate pushing someone out of the car at that point. Shots fired, Jesus.
  
  Unfortunately I was young, dumb and unlucky in love, so I put up with that BS for way too long. My advice to anyone in that position is definitely don't put up with it because you're worth more than the love these kinds of people give. A healthy relationship is built on mutual love and respect. You need to give it, but you also deserve it in return.
  
  What were you listening to?
- So, if your wife asked as to whatever song your listening to is, you would react this way?
- My musical taste is cringe and my spouse has known it since we started dating years ago. Never felt the need to hide it from them. Good partners can respect each other's preferences, so there's zero need to hide what you enjoy.
- People don't respect the Colgate Comedy Hour anymore, this is why we don't have genius like Paul Bufano or Roy Donkins anymore. Her music collection must be all meat and potatoes.
- You’ve presumably had conversations with your wife, though, where you shared, and she wasn’t into it. I dunno, at the least you were, perhaps, honest about not wanting to (or not being comfortable with) sharing.
  Furthermore, it’s a song and she asked. No one is being subjected to anything. No one has to listen to the song named, or, if they do, even finish the song.
- I would share my music taste more openly if the opportunity arose, but more often than not, I'm either out of data or the song on YouTube has gone (!)
- But I bet she shares hers. Speaking from current experience

449 comments