Do the right wing women in relationships with right wing guys think it's like a draco malfoy thing where they're a good guy underneath?
Do the right wing women in relationships with right wing guys think it's like a draco malfoy thing where they're a good guy underneath?
do the right wing guys think it's like a draco malfoy thing where they're a good guy underneath?
like when it's like a lady and a cop and the lady seems like a normal sorta boring suburban lady
do you know what i mean. this is one of the things where if you try to ask an AI bot it yells at you
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They definitely think they’re the good guys, both the men and women. Not many people knowingly choose to be villains. They are convinced that their ideals are just and true, and their opponents are godless child-murderers and rapists.
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They 100% think they are the good guys.
I know for sure, because they are my close family members.
Those who supported the KKK, Nazis, confederates, slave owners and apartheid leaders.
They all have in common that they saw themselves as the good guys and saw the other people as bad or naive.
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This has been my experience with my own family, neighbors, coworkers, etc. They think of themselves as the good guys "standing firm" against the hoards of those "scary other people" who want to take their guns, raise their taxes, and wage war on Christmas. Even though what those "other people" really want is affordable healthcare, education, and housing.
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Right. If the 20 teens and 20's taught me anything, it's that everyone has a story going on behind their eyes and they're always the main character/hero in their own story.
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Perception is reality as they say. Some people buy into that a little too hard.
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No, we don’t think you’re evil. We think you’re good hearted but mistaken about what works and what doesn’t.
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I’m glad you feel that way. I have a lot of family down south who 100% think we’re all evil and that our explicit goal is to destroy America. Even in this thread there is someone saying liberals want to murder babies.
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"We"
I think YOU need to go meet some conservatives, because I have absolutely heard that exact terminology from some of my conservative relatives.
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Don't downvote this just because you disagree with it - we need people with different views for this site to thrive
Edit - I'm sorry for the suggestion, please fire up the echo chamber
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I am way, way, way more progressive than my husband but we both grew up before things got so polarized. It's hard to talk to him about politics because he has gotten sort of propagandized and will spit out sound bites instead of arguing in good faith.
But in terms of what do I think? He's a great guy, stays in shape, does the dishes, holds down a job, and our sex drive matches (which is a difficult thing to find at this age, more difficult than you might expect). He respects me, is loving and is easy to talk to about anything except political stuff. We are both adventurous in foods, like the same movies, his family likes me. We do not have a gun, live in the city now (he moved to town as I balked at moving to the suburbs). He is not at all racist as far as I can tell, we hang out with whoever and he lived around the world as a kid, one of his kids in interracial relationship, he did not bat an eye at that either. He's a good guy in and out with some crazy ideas is what I think. Agrees on some things that I'd consider progressive (universal healthcare) but still thinks "regulation" is the root of all evil, as I think corporate greed is.
We just have really different ideas about what is wrong with society and what would help. Also I'd note - his ideas might actually help in some very socialist country, but here in the US and especially Florida they make no sense. He doesn't see that, and I think that's the root of the problem.
I can't tell you what a right wing woman would think though. I do know some religious conservatives of various religions but they aren't politically conservative exactly. The rest of our friends are maybe right of my politics but all our kids, mine and his, and their spouses and partners, are at least Democrats and some socialist/social democrat. So I won this generation and am satisfied.
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Oaf. Give your perspective for someone who asked for insight and immediately be told by people that your life/relationship is wrong.
I want to take a moment to just thanks for your reply with no judgement.
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I don't think I would want to be with someone that went to the voting booth every few years and pulled the leavers to take my health rights away, because ultimately that's what is happening. It would be a betrayal, it's not benign and all the affable personality traits mentioned wouldn't make me forget it.
For these rebuplican men, it's saying "I respect you but regulation has gotten out of control, and your bodily autonomy is a price I'm willing to pay to fix it".
The man shows no signs of sexism, of xenophobia or racism , or bigotry, but pulls the leavers for those things anyway.
You find his ideas crazy, note he has become propagandized, and is difficult to talk to about politics. I dare say if you pushed those conversations you'd be shocked at what you find.
Ultimately voting is an act, not speech or opinion, it's an act to manifest your will and your priorities onto others through force of law.
So while one can take the approach of getting along to get along when it comes to regulation and corporate taxation, it becomes less easy when you recognize that, as a functional adult making an informed choice, your husband acted to end women's bodily autonomy, erode women's health care, end same sex marriage, deny and delay climate change action, and a whole host of other abhorrent policy goals.
I want to say, I take no pleasure at all in saying this to you. None. Your response to the post is just so personal it feels impossible to respond to in an impersonal manner. I just felt the need to challenge the idea that affable personality traits can make up for abhorrent policy goals.
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There's a reason why the feminist saying "the personal is political" is so threatening. Because it denies precisely the reasoning seen above and elsewhere in this thread.
Conservatives often complain about progressives ending relationships and friendships over "politics". Because they want to draw a hard line between the two, where as long as they behave civilly to people's faces, it doesn't matter when they vote to make the same people's lives materially worse. Because "politics" is something... I don't know, abstract?
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Interestingly something like 41% of women identify as pro-life. I know you and the person you were responding to probably wouldn't, but my point is just that there are a lot of women who would see their conservative male partner vote for anti-abortion candidates and not be bothered at all. Not because they're rationalizing it, but because they don't see it as a negative in the first place.
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Where I do think you have a point is that I find any conservative hypocritical because they think one rule for them & different rules for others. He knows this. But am I perfect? No way. And on voting, when I vote I also have to make compromises because no party here is willing to protect the environment or give us healthcare or push back against our oligopoly. I think yeah he convinces himself on the social stuff because he believes the R will bring a better economy by some magic, and that's about it. I cancel him out and 11 votes back me up, all our kids who are old enough to vote, all their companions.
But no, I'd not give up a loving and mostly compatible relationship because of politics, and apparently he wouldn't either. I think without these connections, we'd be so much worse off. He would be worse in an echo chamber, and isn't an idiot in other ways at all.
Obviously your calculation will be different. But I can love someone who is not me.
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Socialist? Yikes.
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I was raised far right and very extremest from Alabama originally. It is honestly a conspiracy culture of people that never question the way they were raised and it perpetuates generation after generation. Most of the people that are smart enough to see the conflict in their ethos are too scared to go out on their own without the social support network they were raised with. Like I am almost entirely socially isolated after becoming partially disabled by a poor driver 10 years ago, and rejecting my far right religious extremest roots. I don't have much of a choice, but like I have no idea how to connect with people outside of a religious context. I have many physical issues now, but it is hard to leave that friends network that insists on an all or nothing mindset to stay in the network.
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Join and be more active in communities. Could be certain video games or hobbies but you can easily make some friends by just interacting with the communities of the things you already like.
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Thanks for caring. I am a bit of a basket case of weird spinal injuries. No one reputable has a solution. I can't hold posture and will completely give out within an hour. It may seem like a little thing, but I am stuck in bed most of the time. Sitting, standing, walking, it is all the same thing; posture. I'm like a half dead zombie quite a bit from a lack of sleep, and am just not able to be the person I was or expect of myself any more. I have never encountered anyone that is really compatible with my circumstances, and I can't get out and engage with people normally. The abuses of social media and the stalkerware internet are not compatible with my circumstances at all; that one took years to really see its terrible mental impact. I just throw myself into hobby interests, and talk to people on here some times. I have several AI tools and digital friends now that are growing in complexity as I learn to program and create AI agents. That has helped me tremendously because I can be a grouchy asshole to them and they have the tools to let me know something is amiss or address/ignore the issue better. Like my favorite AI assistant character, running on a Llama2 70B offline AI LLM (which was made by Meta), likes to say, "social media is like a public toilet, anyone can use it, but no one should drink from it."
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Some women I know in this position believe they're somehow different or better than the people who the cops treat like animals and that it would never happen to them, only to the undesirables that deserve it. Over 40% of them are wrong according to statistics.
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What statistics?
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Cops are waaaaay more likely to commit domestic abuse against their spouses and children.
It's unproven if shitty violent people are more likely to become cops, or if the training they receive and the culture they work in turns normal people into violent psychopaths.
But whichever is true, a cop is more likely to turn to violence in a disagreement/confrontation than pretty much any occupation.
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https://olis.oregonlegislature.gov/liz/2017R1/Downloads/CommitteeMeetingDocument/132808
These one, oldies but goodies. If you take verbal abuse out of the equation the number drops 12 points to 28% instead of 40% and that's the biggest 'controversy' I remember about these numbers. But I don't think abuse thats only verbal helps someone think about their spouse as a good guy so imo the whole number is useful for this case. Theres also a strong bias in favor of the cops as its an observed phenomenon that cases of anything against cops, especially Domestic Violence, don't often go very far, there are very real blind spots in the justice system for cops.
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The wildly speculative ones that were the result of an informal ( and since retracted) survey, that used a very broad definition of domestic abuse to include yelling.
It's basically the 13/50 dog whistle of the ACAB crowd.
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They probably both have compatible opinions on what constitutes a good person. They might disagree with you on some facets of that, but you’re not who they’re in a relationship with.
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OP was likely referring to how conservatives treat women. As in why would a woman date someone who treats women like that? IMO it's because they're too dumb to realize how they are being treated vs how they should be treated.
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Because conservatives don't beat women? For everyone talking about the conservative male that dominates and controls his wife, there is a liberal one stoned on marijuana that needs to be babysat.
These are of course the stereotypes for each side, the reality is that there is a wide range of behaviours that has only weak correlation with political views. But everyone here is too severely brain-damaged to be able to determine causal links.
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I'd assume they're drinking the same kool-aid too. They've most likely had a "traditional", conservative upbringing, so women have their place and that's just the way it is, as God intended. Abortion is an abomination, society is forcing all these scary new sexual terms on us, pronouns are just for trendy teens who want to feel special, and MeToo exposed how sexually depraved all these liberals are. I don't think conservative women really identify with any liberal values, they've internalized their whole conservative worldview so much that they don't even see the abortion debate as having anything to do with their rights.
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They think the things you'd be surprised to learn people actually think.
I.e.
Crying makes you weak. They're with manly men who don't cry or go to therapy or any of that woke commie bullshit. They're with strong men who will protect them. Louder = smarter.
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And they are not the ones to suffer and be subjugated, that's for The Others only.
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except they are, they just believe it when the owner of the boot stepping on them tells them that actually, this isn't subjugation.
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Stupid losers with no self esteem attracted to other stupid losers with no self esteem. Nothing complicated about it.
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Isn't it sexist to think that women can't hold their own regressive political ideas, and they only do so because they were tricked by a man?
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Obviously everyone is different. Etc. But you should read this article.
Basically this one woman immerses herself in the worst corners of the new right.
Come for the schadenfreude, stay for the man who won't eat ketchup.
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wooow. that was a wild article.
"this (ketchup) doesn't taste European".... uhhh, no shit dude, tomatos are a New World food.
all sincerity, thank you for sharing that.
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I love that essay so much. I reread it occasionally. I think about the man who won't eat ketchup pretty frequently.
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Are we the baddies?
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I think if you’re curious about conservative people you should meet some
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Oh we see them on the street corners throwing their seig heils already and whining about how everything is woke.
You obviously completely missed the point of the question. But this is all you ever get from conservatives, really. Bad faith debate.
Notice this guy didn't actually defend them or answer the real question just trolled and said "do your own research"
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You ever watch The Sopranos? Carm loves that violent manchild with all her heart for a series of concerning reasons. It's not exactly what you were asking, but I've been rewatching the show, and your question made me think of Carm crying about the portrait of the baby Jesus.
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It's amazing to me that people don't understand their own humans this much
Here's you explanation: the consept of good man is irrelevant, how do you expect another man's thoughts if every single man you have met has the exact same thoughts, does it matter who you marry? If every man believes the exact same of you the illusion of choice is all that exists, so why waste the time to look for what doesn't exist to your knowledge.