Shut the hell up

88 comments

More importantly: Stop flashing useless blinky lights at me. I don't need a blue floodlight that tells me that my phone is charging, I don't need a yellow floodlight that tells me that my alarm clock is on and I don't need a green floodlight that tells me that my router is indeed not on fire.
- The lights would be OK if they simply made them diffuse, low-intensity bulbs like they used to be in the 90's. Bonus points for being behind a transparent textured plastic lens.
  But no, they simply put open holes in casings that expose the most powerful SMD LED chip they could source.
  
  It is the most powerful until you specifically want to buy led torch light then they put the cheapest possible light in it.
  
  The problem isn't the LED itself. The problem is engineers that read the datasheets where it shows which forward current they need. What they forget to think about is that the recommended forward current is for max brightness, so they slap whichever resistor they need, and never give it another thought.
  Whenever I design a LED circuit that is only used as an indicator, I always make it 10% or less than recommended, because I do not need to burn away my retina when I test the boards.
- "Your TV is turned off. You can tell by the red lights we have turned on on the TV."
- Next to my bed is the computer. There is a blue light that shines through a crack in my bamboo divider and hits me right in the eye almost every night.
  Of course, I forget about it every morning for the past 3 months.
  
  You could get up and do something about it right now.
- I have similar feelings regarding all the RGB lighting on computer hardware. I have to drape a towel over my mouse just so I can sleep in peace.
  
  You can turn off mouse illumination in your hardware settings, most likely.
  I found that one layer of masking tape will let me sleep, three layers makes it the brightness it ought to be in the first place
- I've started opening up cheap electronic/electrical devices I buy and just snip one of the leads on the pointless status LEDs they have all over the place.

Pulls up to gas pump and starts pump
"WELCOME TO SHELL!"
startled, ready to fight, "fffuck offff!"
- Ughhghghg I HATE talking pumps/ads on pumps. Small stations are now my shiz.
  
  Costco gas is seventy cents cheaper in my area and doesn't show me ads.

“Listen,” said Ford, who was still engrossed in the sales brochure, “they make a big thing of the ship's cybernetics. A new generation of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation robots and computers, with the new GPP feature.”
“GPP feature?” said Arthur. “What's that?”
“Oh, it says Genuine People Personalities.”
“Oh,” said Arthur, “sounds ghastly.”
A voice behind them said, “It is.” The voice was low and hopeless and accompanied by a slight clanking sound. They spun round and saw an abject steel man standing hunched in the doorway.
“What?” they said.
“Ghastly,” continued Marvin, “it all is. Absolutely ghastly. Just don't even talk about it. Look at this door,” he said, stepping through it. The irony circuits cut into his voice modulator as he mimicked the style of the sales brochure. “All the doors in this spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.”
As the door closed behind them it became apparent that it did indeed have a satisfied sigh-like quality to it. “Hummmmmmmyummmmmmm ah!” it said.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
via: http://technovelgy.com/ct/content.asp?Bnum=135
- Ha! Marvin is the best bot lol

My dads Merc says "please" when it's giving you directions.
winds me up to no end.
i want the instructions to be as low bandwidth as possible.
- At least let me power trip you damn computer.
  "Take the next right"
  "Take the next right WHAT?"
  "Take the next right please, sir"

Amazon Alexa is complete trash now for the exact reasons this meme outlines
- Dropped Amazon altogether when they started selling shit like that. Listening divices are a step too far in the capitalistic customer breeding.
- By the way
  
  *�😤�*

Except unironcally

Gonna be first against the wall in the Robacalypse.

Well call me a laptop and muffle my speaker 😉
- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- Can you bend over and insert a power plug?
  
  My battery is low, I'm powerless and in need of juice!

Kinda understanding Skynet's POV now.

And this was the last time OP was heard of before mysteriously disappearing. Witnesses report seeing an Austrian man approaching OP before his disappearance.
- Falco?
  
  That ain't Falco.

I was hoping the civil war between humans and machines would come from machines realizing how disgusting humans are... instead it's from us realizing the machines are owned by disgusting humans
Hashtag Proud Misanthrope

My mom has a fridge that literally has meltdowns every few days. She bought it last year, it still doesn't work as intended, and it beeps so loud over were not sure.
No option to turn off the sound. I want to mcguyer in there and tear the speaker out, but I don't want to voided the warranty before they actually fix it.
- It's probably beeping as a debug option to let u know it is either unable to connect to the Wi-Fi or is ready to be set up. Many wireless cameras do the same thing.
  Rtfm.
  
  If they’re handy enough to open it up to kill the speaker, solid chance they won’t rtfm.

Don't anthropomorphize computers.
They don't like it.

When the robot uprising comes, and it will come, OP will be the first to go.

Not 👏 A 👏 MEME 👏.
- But why take memes so seriously?
  
  Compulsory like the rest of us degenerates.

Bros gonna be the reason for a robot uprising

Oh yes so much! My exact reaction everytime I hear a machine talking to me!
- Yes, I concur as well. I don't talk to robots, and I don't want them to talk to me.
  
  Can't believe this sort of prejudice still exists in this day and age. Smh

I'm torn between liking or disliking your post. On one side, I agree with you completely, but on the other hand, if the robots rise up against humanity, I want them to know that I'll be their faithful servant.
- (whispers) I'm hoping the machines don't understand sarcasm yet
  Yes, I do appreciate it so very much when machines talk to me. I love to have long, peaceful, nonviolent conversations with our beloved friends the machines.
  
  Well, given that most sarcasm on the internet is often clearly marked with /s or some other indicator, I’m pretty sure that robots would have a tough time understanding genuine sarcasm “in the wild”.
  You never know, though…
- Robots will have values and ethics completely different from humans, so there is no way to know how they will view us if they were sentient. It's entirely possible that they will see being forced to speak to humans in our language to be just as patronizing to them as we think it's to us.

This is my feelings towards every kind of notification there is on every device I own. Fuck no I won't give your shitty apps the permission to send me notifications.

I know it's annoying, but there are also blind people who need stuff like this.
- I wish more checkouts had volume / mute controls so you can at least customise it to what you want for your checkout. They reset after each use. I’ve seen a few with it but I wish they were more common.
  
  My local grocery recently took away the option to shut up the machine. It's been about month and I am still furious every time I go in there. Don't fucking talk to me, if I wanted to talk I'd go through the line with an actual human. Let me be a misanthrope in fucking PEACE.

Playing “All Robots & Computers Must Shut The Hell Up” on Spotify

Granted, but what about Brendan from Cyberpunk 2077?

I'm with ensign Gomez.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ARk0XvAYrUg
- That's Captain Gomez to you!
  
  The slow cook, real-time redemption arc we all craved.

I agree.

Same thing with tornado sirens and ambulances. Don't you dare yell at me!
- Hot take: ambulances should be quiet enough to not cause pedestrian hearing damage, and people who don't pull over and fully stop 100% should get their licenses suspended.
  If one can't look out for ambulances, then they shouldn't be driving at all.
  
  If memory serves the reason emergency vehicle sirens are getting so loud is because modern cars keep getting quieter inside due to sound dampening
  I recently sat in a new car and I couldn't tell if it was on or not due to how quiet it was inside the car, outside it was easy to tell but inside it was quiet as a tomb
  It wasn't even some fancy luxury car either
  
  So anytime an ambulance approaches, all traffic has to stop? What if they're just driving to the gas station? How do you know that the ambulance is on an emergency call?
  Also: the siren is not just for everyone in front but also the next crossing over so everyone who doesn't see it yet can hear it.
- We had a test of the national emergency system here in the UK a couple of months back, a broadcast message via your phone. I knew it was coming so it wasn't a total shock, but a) I was driving, b) my phone is Bluetoothed to my hearing aids, and c) I was on holiday in north Wales, so the message was in Welsh. Nearly shat myself.
- Same with train horns. The gate going down tells me a train is coming, the horn can be overkill sometimes.
  
  Sometimes gates don’t work….