these are rationalizations to avoid what i avoid

what if it fucks my brain?

i used a few drugs. i still carry their side effect. i used a very little amount of steroids as painkillers a year ago. my eyes changed and never went back to normal. told the docs at the time and they didn't take any responsibility and they couldn't fix anything. shit like that happened more than a few times in different ways

science is an infant trying to be an adult when it comes to messing with human body

i'm sure most mediocre diagnosers would diagnose me as adhd but how do i find someone who wouldn't diagnose me unless i really need to be diagnosed? i hate to rely on drugs

i tried that. doesn't work