My advice is not financial but rather about relationships:
- Money and finances are one of the top things couples fight about.
- Psychologists have observed that couples have the same disagreements (or fights) over the long term course of a relationship, and these can be used as touchpoints to assess the couple's emotional maturity and overall relationship health.
- So, whatever financial arrangement you agree upon, commit to it in a way that actively reinforces the importance of the relationship, fosters open communication, and strengthens your bond with one another.
OK hear me out: It should be named after the first European explorer to discover it and popularize the European expansion: Christopher Columbus.
- Like its namesake, the nation too is racist, cruel and genocidal. Even the Spanish Inquisition era Catholics were like, damn Christopher!
- Like the largest exporter of cocaíne in South America, it too is full of drugs, and its elections are the plaything of big money cartels and foreign powers.
- It was mostly settled by white people from England.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you your new nation: British Columbia.
I see they're following the Tumblr model:
- Get bought at overinflated values.
- Ban all NSFW content.
- Users leave and seek NSFW content elsewhere.
- Valuation plummets.
- "Actually, moderating NSFW is really hard you guys. We're just going to try best efforts moderation only."
- Sell at near total loss.
- There is still NSFW content on the platform, and the policy is used as a cudgel against LGBTQ accounts.
I was faced with a similar decision many years ago. At the time, I don't think I could have enumerated all the problems I saw as clearly as you did above. Instead I was just filled with a vague sense of dread about trying to make a life in the US vs. a hopeful opportunity abroad. It made any long term planning nearly impossible, and it became clear that the future was somewhere beyond for me.
It was a good decision. It was still hard, as life tends to be. Culture shock hits hard after about one year and the glow of the honeymoon period wears off, and then a longer term acclimation process begins. Strictly staying within the social circle of the expat bubble is not recommended. Becoming part of the community, putting down roots, learning language, forming new friendships, following the different laws and social customs are all long term deep challenges. It also means family and friends are more distant. Those relationships change for better and worse.
Seek a good US tax specialist accountant early on for advice. The US still expects citizens to file taxes and report FBAR, even if the amount of tax owing is zero due to tax treaties.
Final advice: Whatever you choose, do it for positive reasons. The long term is a marathon and you need something to sustain you. It's better to run towards something rather than run away.
It's hard to write a comment, but so far 11 people have upvoted, so just think there are 11 people seeing you and giving you a hug.
Stay safe, friend.
David Attenborough voiceover
"Americans, like the common clownfish and some species of frogs, can change sex. While these other animals do so during times of environmental stress or population imbalance, Americans can do so via a strange, opaque process called, "The Executive Order." Unlike their aquatic peers who change on an individual basis, the entire population of Americans changes all at once. This behavior is otherwise unknown in the animal kingdom, and it is unclear what evolutionary advantage this offers, if any."
In retrospect, it's funny to me now that I was feeling afraid and sick to my stomach to the point of shaking and nearly throwing up, and their response was just so relaxed and cool. I asked if they weren't surprised and the answer was no.
Like... WHO AM I FOOLING? ONLY MYSELF? DID EVERYONE ELSE GET THE MEMO FIRST?
Ugh, same. Can't bear to think how many people I must have alienated or hurt with such behavior. I suppose there's nothing to be done about the past, but listen to its lessons to be better, kinder me in the future.
I came out to the one person that matters most, and everything was OK. Like better than OK. What was the point of all that internal torture I put myself through? Finally feel like I can breathe again.
Still think the gods are having a huge laugh at my expense over the timing though.
Your comment made me realize with new clarity how much male relationships are built on a shock factor comedic antics and edgy humor, which include casual homophobia and misogyny, racism or just generally "punching down."
But also, ick.
🎶
I can't see clearly now dysphoria's gone.
I can clear all obstacles to my peace.
We're all our worst critics in our own heads.
Wanna see your bright, bright beautiful smile.
🎶