I think about it like that too, which led to a poly situation. And I just don't find many cis men that I'm interested in. They are all bi/pan.
I have a wife, who is a bottom we are "anchors" for each other. I would recommend finding an anchor, even if you both have to take turns using hands or toys.... as you said you only really emotionally connect with feminine folks, maybe you can find another person that feels the same way, they are plentiful imo.
We have a BF who tops women and not me :( I do get his hands and not much else :) but he is a lovely person that like cuddles me a bunch and kisses, literally every other thing romantically and helps me garden and stuff.
I have a solo partner to satisfy mostly sexual needs and that's all they really want too. That's my FWB, but we are still pretty new to each other.
Toys exist, someone has to do the fun parts for the other person. I'm certain you can get exactly what you want if you put yourself out there and also work on yourself. Just keep grinding ;) and it'll happen. Being near a city or going to events in a city really helps, I would suggest a slosh personally.
Love, deviantfemboi (31 nb all)
:3