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brookedSmile

@ brookedSmile @lemmy.blahaj.zone

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195
加入于
5 mo. ago

'94 model (trans)Woman, few bumps and scrapes but good condition overall

Poly marriage, Bi

A risk to your establishment

"If god we're real, Bezos would have died in space"

"Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime"

"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

"Quotes are for people too stupid to say anything intelligent on their own"

  • Those of you whose parents are also unsupportive, what do y'all do to handle the feelings that come along with wins and successes that you would have shared with them?

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  • (TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS SUICIDE!!)

    Im so sorry to see you dealing with this, although congraties on putting on your big girl pants and getting it done.

    I dont talk to my parent(s), and havent for a really long time. I grew up without my dad (he self deleted when i was 4), and part of me has wondered and maybe still wonders if i am who i am and being trans because of that and growing up without him.

    After that, we were truly a broken family. For a time my mom tried to hold it together, until i was about 9, then she stopped caring. It wouldve been easy for her to get us therapy or something but whatever. My mom was making about 6k a month in 2008, then the crisis hit. My mom got pissed at the world and her kids, and started drinking and abusing us. Think like daily fist fights in our house, and more than a couple of attempts on her life by my blood sister. Lots of mental health issues i guess lol.

    I was less prone to violence like that. But i got the feeling my mom HATED me and HATED having me around. I looked too much like dad. She couldnt handle it. So most times i was either kicked out of the house and not allowed back or i was in a cop car because she wants me gone (but i live there!). And you know, teenage "boy" complaining about home life? Cops did not give a single shit

    Not to mention the rascism and transphobia, homophobia. Pretty much hatred for anything not pure straight and white (🤢🤮🤮🤮) and i couldve easily followed that path. But i saw firsthand what hate gets people.

    Listen cause heres the point of this. After everything and all the years of abuse and not talking to my mom for close to a decade, i STILL want to call her sometime. It hurts, not having a mom but knowing shes around. I know she wouldnt accept me but i still wish there was a world where she did. Anybody who tells you parental estrangement is easy is fucking lying. I use old texts from her to remind me of why i dont talk to her.

    I guess im saying its not easy. If you can find some like minded people or some of the people in this wonderul community to share with, thats what im going for (me and Nissa are texting now ❤️)

    And you ever have anything you want to share or talk about, my inbox is always open, and ill always do my best to answer in a timely manner

    Stay safe, know youre loved by everyone here, and we all would love to here the things youd usually call about ❤️

  • Weekends almost over 😭

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  • I heard the other day that some people goto bed, get in, close their eyes, and just... go to sleep?? What the fuck is that???

  • Weekends almost over 😭

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  • I cant hate i shop amazon too as much as i dont want to. Beezos really did a good job making sure his store was the only one that has certain things. And that certain things catalog has been growing for over a decade lol.

    No shame! Thats where i got my trans pride shirt (which im not even sure you saw that post! https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/40661672) youre definitely not alone

    I also get ALOT of my dresses from hot topic if you can believe that, including this one ❤️

  • How's your week been?

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  • Ill look into that for sure! Thanks ☺️

  • Weekends almost over 😭

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  • True true, ill get there. My mood really affects my ability to do adult things and last week was bad sooo 🤷‍♀️

    Although they say thats not like neurotypical i guess? But i dont think ive ever met a single person who could function through that lol

  • How's your week been?

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  • Yeah! Honestly going somewhere a little away from where i live does help. I think my biggest issue is people who know of me be4 but dont actually know me if that makes sense (think cashiers and the like). It doesnt even make sense to me why i would care at all but those people scare me the most. Its stupid lol

    That and my ex. To come out to her would be catastrophically terrifying. I think i might actually have a heart attack if/when that happens lol

    Edit: forgot love you too girl! You the best as always ❤️

  • Weekends almost over 😭

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  • Well get some more!

    I wish i had your cute skirts!! Plus the trans pride shoelaces 😍 where tf you get those?

  • Weekends almost over 😭

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  • Shhhhhhh i hate the mess rn but i hate thinking about cleaning even moreeee

  • How's your week been?

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  • Its been rough but its my own doing. Im so anxious about coming out and its been hard to deal with this week. Also been doubting myself alot, my brain has a way of cutting deep. This week it was trying to convince me that im fake, like i get these extra rough feelings being a "cis straight white male" before that that voice tries to tell me i just want a group to belong too. That im not really this and just looking to be a minority or my own story of oppression.

    Its awful, awful ,awful stuff to think about, i hate it. But i also know its not the truth. Decades of these feelings, noone could ever convince me that its not what it is.

    Also, might be the only one, but i HATE the idea of coming out to everyone. I feel like if you come over to my place often enough then sure ill have a talk with you. But if i hardly see you? Naw youll find out whenever you see me, im not putting myself through the anxiety and pressure of coming out to absolutely everyone lol

    So meh week, some good, mostly bad. Still here still kicking still love you all! Nobody is allowed to Leave i want you all right here where you belong 🥰

  • How's your week been?

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  • It really depends on where you are geographically, but here in oregon its pretty quick from lifeworks, and we have a decent emergency mental health hotline thingy. But its def not this easy everywhere, and also depending on insurance and money.

    If you get public assistance (SNAP or ACA/medicare etc) then a great place to start asking for affordable or insurance covered therapy is at your local DHS (department of human services, not the other fascist one(fuck ICE)) ask them, they should have a resource book available for you to take and browse through.

    Thats where id start, wishing you lots of luck!

  • How's your week been?

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  • Im sorry to hear this girly 😭 family drama sucks and it sucks to see you going through it.

    Thats something i dont miss, not talking to any of my family. I get sad sometimes, then i remember the drama (worse than that but yknow) and suddenly im not so sad lol

  • How's your week been?

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  • Facial hair is the biggest PITA, check out past posts on here or reddit about this, you might get some helpful advice!

    Hair creams and waxing hasnt worked for me, im gonna try this sugar paste wax stuff my partner recommended. But as a baseline i use a safety razor with good blades (still trying to find the best ones), a thicker or more lubricating shave cream/soap is very helpful. I start normal, with the grain and all, then 2 more passes; once sideways somewhat with grain, then last pass AGAINST grain. This gets me the closest shave i can muster currently lol.

    Also, dont use a ton of pressure, and cream choice is super important. If you do 3 pass, your skin will hate you if you dont use a good cream/soap!

    Good luck to you with your journey! Maybe youll learn something i dont know and teach me one day 😁

  • Why not? BOTH! 😇 😈

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  • Holyyyy what a spot on definition lol

  • Girlmoding after work is so much fun!

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  • I second this plan, i need this skirt in my life

  • They made the fucking trucks trans

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  • Theyre putting chemicals in the diesel to turn the freaking trucks trans!

  • Hi I'm Azura~

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  • Interesting, i checked the webui and it was the same. Had a thought to tap on the 'photo of me', turns out its like a spoiler tag, had to tap to see picture.

    Seems its the same on the voyager client cause i just tried, just never seen that before

    Great pic!

  • OOTD for a hot home office day, doing my best to stay cool and comfy

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  • Great fit as always 😊

  • Hi I'm Azura~

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  • Welcome azura! Great to have ya here, and were supportive of you no matter what happens. Glad you have alot of support irl too! Not everyone gets that, so its great seeing someone who does lol

    Also just to let you know, the picture you wanted with this post is not showing up for some reason. Could just be my app (voyager for lemmy, android) but just letting you know if not.

    Anyways, again welcome! Happy youre here! ❤️

  • Magic the Estrogen

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  • Really? What set was it? Cause damnn shame i missed out lol