The real miracle isn’t Word’s features, it’s how it’s still the default after decades of collective pain.

Drug tests are expensive theater. If the goal is accountability, audits and transparent reporting actually work.

That last line nails it: it doesn’t cap success, it just makes sure failure isn’t catastrophic.

Chekhov’s dog: if it shows up in Act 1, it’s definitely not just going for a walk.

Classic misdirection: compare dues to a toy instead of the extra pay, healthcare, and protections.

“Uptime” — aka the anxiety meter for every sysadmin.