It's not a war, but we won the war. It was about regime change, and we successfully changed the regime to the same exact regime but with slightly more extremist leadership. But it wasn't about that, it was about nuclear weapons, and we just successfully crippled their nuclear capabilities, which we successfully crippled last summer, which were the same ones they built up after we pulled out the nuclear deal they made with a black president. But the important part is that this war was always about opening the strait of Hormuz, which was open before the war. We haven't done that, but we don't need it open anyway because we don't need the oil coming through there and I don't understand how the basic laws of supply and demand will affect prices back home. But also even though we just won this war, which is not a war, for the eighth time, we need to keep fighting this war for reasons I will come up with in the next two weeks. Please turn your attention to the bogus 2020 election investigation while I go collect my Dave and Busters Peace Prize.