Pretty cool story, and the ending is intriguing enough, but the third paragraph has too many formatted words in our opinion. Having too many words in bold, cursive or strikethrough just doesn't look well.
We think that strikethroughs should really be avoided unless used humorously, and even then in little amounts. It really just makes the syntax appear worse.
A new, really concise book
We recently created a very tiny book on philosophy, possibly the smallest of its kind. Please don't mind the informal languague, as the book was written like that to save space and for ease of reading. It's written in markdown, so you may want to convert it to html, but you can also open it on a text editor, although it won't look as flashy. Feedback would really be appreciated.