Falls are the leading cause of injury-related death among adults ages 65 and older, and the fall death rate is increasing. [CDC]

I see a few options open to us when we reach 65:

1. Avoid all stairs
2. Stay seated at all times
3. Wear a fat suit to cushion any fall
4. If you're already fat, carry on about your day and enjoy peace of mind should you fall
5. Live in a pool
6. Adopt a Hutt lifestyle

I was wondering why the forecast said 2% chance of milk.

I just might dig out my onion and tie it to my belt.

I think he got lost and didn't want to ask for directions. Eventually found a Zanzibarian princess, talked himself up about being a whale model, doing photo shoots for 9 years, and they hooked up. Next morning I guarantee he's asking the boys the quickest currents back to the eastern Pacific.

Something tells me he was not the captain. But I'll wait for all the facts to come out before I rush to judgement.

The probability that a monkey would throw its shit against the wall and have it look exactly like Shakespeare is, on the other hand, extremely likely in our lifetime.

First, I throw in a jalapeno as a life preserver, then I come in with the second chip like an S.S. Minnow sent from heaven. Finally I Mobey Dick the rescue team and send them to the depths of hell that is my digestive tract.

Looks like an albino Harvey Weinstein.

Can't believe that glass at the bottom of the photo has survived being on the counter without a cat pawing it off.

616 gallons per flush.

PETER VENKMAN: He's gonna take a little nap now, but, uh, he says he's Florida Man. Does that make any sense to you?

EGON SPENGLER: Some. I just met California Man. He's here with me now.

PETER VENKMAN: Oh, wonderful. We have to get these two together.

EGON SPENGLER: I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous.

Yea I thought about that 5 minutes after posting. 1970s Boeing was competent.

I'll take "Things not built by Boeing" for 800, Alex.

Well don't keep me in suspense! What was her answer?!

Sounds like the hamster wants out.

I read the title as someone from Boston saying, 'He got the job, didn't he?!?"

We call that a prison pacifier!

Good one! I didn't see that coming!

We've been using Master/Bater down at the church.

I've never played these games but after 16 I'm starting to think they are gaslighting us with the word "Final".