Look at them bear titties!

Pretty sure this post is referring to the band HEALTH. Some of my favorites are STONEFIST, CHILDREN OF SORROW, and Major Crimes. They may or may not fit the definition of "metal", but they are bangers.

It puts the holy water on the skin, or else it gets the demons again!

That's maybe the most helpful and positive thing I've seen on a shitpost. And honestly, I needed to hear some of that, so thank you.

Can't be, they didn't mention anything about horses and hands.

Catnip, not even once

That's an improvement over the delivery drivers that yeet my package over my fence