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AnxiousMiisha

@ AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone

Posts
16
Comments
85
Joined
4 days ago

20Mtf 🏳️‍⚧️ Playing life on New Girl+ Prog addict and needle enthusiast 💉

HRT since 12.2.2026 Taken 31.3.2024

  • NSFW

    I want something terrible to happen to me

    Jump

  • This is spot on. To the letter. I bet you could even name the exact country I'm from 😆.

    This could be why I believe myself to be a bad person subconsciously, however I don't think it tells the whole story.

    As I said, this all started even before my egg crack, when I was relatively "normal". Even though I did have unusual ideas, like shaving my legs, which the boys told me "only [my country's equivalent of the F slur for gay men] did". I probably wasn't as normal as I remember now, but I definitely tried to fit into the norms.

    You're absolutely right about the majority of things you wrote tho. I'm actually kinda surprised how accurate that is. You even used my username to come to that conclusion...damn.

    I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense. My head is a mess right now.

  • Going to my cousin's 18th birthday celebration dressed up for the first time

    Jump

  • Facial feminization surgery. HRT addresses soft tissue while FFS changes bone structure

  • Anyone else with back dimples?

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  • True, butt...doesn't that make me like, weirder than I already am? I have enough weirdness to go around. Take some from me, please 😭

    Also, I have a bf. Checking me out is his job. He's totally slacking these past couple of days...

  • Going to my cousin's 18th birthday celebration dressed up for the first time

    Jump

  • Thank you. Really, thanks a lot 🩷

    She's really nice most of the time, but then she pulls one of these and I feel like all our good relations go down the toilet...

    Its like my therapist says, intent vs impact. People far too often focus on the intent of what theyre saying to others but rarely think about the impact of saying it. I can tell you that impact is more important, regardless of someones intent.

    This makes...so much sense honestly. I never even considered that, but I absolutely get what you mean. I'm definitely guilty of doing the same. Sometimes, I only consider the intent of my words and not the impact. Knowing the labels of these concepts, I can do my best to keep myself from doing the same to other people. That's actually so nice of you to explain it like that, holy shit. Thanks a lot ❤️

  • Anyone else with back dimples?

    Jump

  • I really mean that. Really nice and flat. Girl, I'm honestly jealous

  • Anyone else with back dimples?

    Jump

  • Huh. That's interesting. Pretty belly!

  • Anyone else with back dimples?

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  • On your stomach? 👀 I hadn't even considered that...

    Can you elaborate?

  • Anyone else with back dimples?

    Jump

  • Neat! I think HRT, changing the fat distribution on your body, might make them more prominent for you? Maybe, I'm not really sure...

    Also, I think nature knew what it was doing giving you Venus dimples lol

  • Thank you

    Jump

  • Thank you sibling.

    Hugs 🫂

  • Transfem @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone

    Anyone else with back dimples?

  • Thank you

    Jump

  • I won't ever turn down hugs 🩷

    and I hope your days improve

    Thank you. Me too, honestly. It feels like I exhausted my supply of bad days for the next week just today. It really took it out of me. Especially since I was looking forward to it so much. Oh well

  • Trans Memes @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone

    Improvement

  • Trans Memes @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    CW: Assumes Viewer is Transfem

    Boymoder or not, you are all cute and valid

  • Progesterone 😭

    Jump

  • Aww, really? That sucks.

    Did you take it orally or rectally? I know you've probably done it, but you should definitely give both ways a try! They each have their ups and downs.

  • Progesterone 😭

    Jump

  • I find the journey...quite enjoyable 😂

  • Thank you

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  • Thank you. Honestly thank you ❤️

    Also...nice username. I love sushi! You just reminded me how hungry I am, I haven't eaten anything today. I don't eat much...

    I'll try to take care of myself and recover from this nightmare of a day. Thanks again, kind Sushi stranger!

  • Thank you

    Jump

  • Aww, thank you 🩷

    I guess this Lemmy account somehow became my personal HRT journal. Without the fear of someone I know finding me here, I'm really much comfortable talking about some stuff. For better or for worse...

    I do enjoy posting my experiences, even the really bad ones. I hope I can at least provide useful information to someone, even just one person. Probably not, but I'm not giving up! 😆

    Anyway, thank you. You're awesome!

  • NSFW

    I want something terrible to happen to me

    Jump

  • First of all, I would like to thank you for your kind words and for the detailed response.

    I'm glad I'm not the only one with these thoughts (am I glad tho??), however it's still weird and uncomfortable.

    If there is one thing I know for sure tho...I absolutely have to tell my therapist about this. It's kinda getting out of hand, and it gets really bad when I'm not in a good headspace.

    I'll be really honest. I had an exceptionally bad day today. Like, the worst one in a long while.

    I created a throwaway Reddit account. Found a community for NSFW content in my country. I then started posting about how I wanted someone in my general area to do these things to me... I even described my general appearance and the places I usually frequent. I also considered just waiting for the sun to set, dolling up as much as possible and then taking a stroll, all alone, through some questionable neighborhoods, leaving my self-defense tool behind.

    To be honest, I scared myself. I didn't know that I would go this far to hurt myself. That I would actively put myself in harm's way. That I would in any way act out on these thoughts...

    I feel sick just describing that. This is where the fun ends and shit gets real. I'm a possible danger to myself and it's time to let someone know, a professional like my therapist. I'll do that ASAP...

    I'm really sorry to anyone reading this. I'm sorry I'm the way I am. I realize how fucked up all of this is. And I swear I'm not making it up either. I really wish I was...

    I'm not right in the head. That's for sure, at least.

  • Transfem @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone

    Thank you

  • Going to my cousin's 18th birthday celebration dressed up for the first time

    Jump

  • Turns out, it didn't. Turns out it went as poorly as it possibly could have

  • NSFW

    I want something terrible to happen to me

    Jump

  • Going to my cousin's 18th birthday celebration dressed up for the first time

    Jump

  • I did bring a bracelet actually. A gift from my best friend, brought from Bali. One made of small, round black lava rocks.

  • Going to my cousin's 18th birthday celebration dressed up for the first time

    Jump

  • He didn't even see me properly. I swapped my pretty red top for a T shirt and a bra under that.

    I feel like a failure. Once, just once I wanted to wear something cute in front of other people and then this happens.

  • Transfem @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone

    Going to my cousin's 18th birthday celebration dressed up for the first time

  • Trans Memes @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone

    Progesterone 😭

  • Trans Memes @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone

    Mother's Day

  • Trans Memes @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    CW: Assumes Viewer is Transfem

    Girls, love yourselves

  • Trans Memes @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone

    Girlnola

  • Trans Memes @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    CW: assumes viewer is transfem

    Skin

  • Programmer Humor @programming.dev
    AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone

    Runk

  • Transfem @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone

    About auto-injectors

  • Transfem @lemmy.blahaj.zone
    AnxiousMiisha @lemmy.blahaj.zone

    New Vinted outfit