Why was this such a surprise?

I've been telling people, if an admin defeds lemmygrad for some smarmy ass lying complete libshit reasons like Ada did, you should have 0 (zero) confidence that she or any other admin who does the same will be willing to engage y'all in good faith and actually work to change their instance, there isn't a single reason to defed lemmygrad that couldn't also be used to defed Hexbear for other than maybe lemmygrad is more sectatarian but that makes up maybe 1% of the content on our comms, or maybe that it's not as outwardly pro-trans*, but then again it's also the only instance in the threadiverse that I'm aware of that specifically makes you give your view on gender as part of it's application to weed out transphobes before they can even make an account (I'm not even sure how many instances even still use applications).

Brigading? I've seen more links dropped in hexbear threads in the like 2 weeks y'all have been federated than I did in 3 months on lemmygrad

Trolling? Y'all literally have an emote of a fucking pig shitting on its own testicles, what trolling can lemmygrad even conjure to compare to that

"being ok with wishing death on the people of Nato" this is the most baffling one, y'all literally have an emote dedicated to this kind of comment that has a nuke symbol and says "Please, Xi" that's used to say that the entirety of the west should be nuked and destroyed which is the exact same of comments made on lemmygrad just without the emote, and that's just the ones that use that emote in particular.

It may look like I'm saying I told you so because, well, I am, I told you so. I would be extremely surprised if that shithead of a mod gets removed, I put it at about the same chances as blahaj refederating with lemmygrad (so never, lol).

*I'm sure lemmygrad could be better in some way about this, but at the same time 11% of our users were trans when we did a survey 2 months ago, which I hope means that it's generally still a good, safe instance for our trans comrades (P.S. WE LOVE OUR TRANS COMRADES)

Edit: some further evidence of shit lib behavior, when she originally defederated lemmygrad it's not like she put effort to remain federated like y'all did, she dropped 2 (two) comments deep in some random ass thread where she called us tankies, this person was never going to put in the same kind of effort that y'all were going to, forgot about this until after I made the post https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/501598 https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/501598 their instance is struggling so here's a screenshot if you can't load them

78 comments

I was looking forward to you doing an "I told you so" post, and you're right to say it. It became clear that they're mostly 196
libs who intended to string us along for as many concessions as they could get before springing the inevitable defederation, so I'm glad our beautiful mods preempted them before those parasites could take much advantage of our good will.
- I guess I should say I really admire the optimism and commitment for trans solidarity in the lemmyverse by a bunch of hexbear users, but I really don't think this could have gone any other way unfortunately, anyone who uses the word tankie like that has shown their true colors, the only reason I can think for why y'all didn't just get the exact same treatment as lemmygrad (i.e. defederated and announced deep in a random comment section), is that everyone and their mother already knew how pro-trans hexbear is and it would have been too bad of a look for their instance to do that?

I didn't even realize they defederated from us already. All because we're NATOphobic 😔
- How dare you malign the historically marginalised people of NATO!
  
  Oh no now hexbear's gonna defederate from us too! 😭😭

I wasn't surprised. I could smell Adas bad faith from a mile away.
- I didn't mean to say every hexbear user, but I myself have been a little shocked by how many hexbear users seemed on board with bending backwards for blahaj
  
  I just wanted our trans comrades to have more friends on a trans-friendly instance, but 196 just really makes it a cesspool.

libs are for dunking on, not trusting

Defederating with blahaj was the right move, but I don't think federating with them and at least trying was the wrong move either. Our short federated time meant we got a lot of users make accounts here, and I think a lot of users who stayed are now hyper-aware of their troubling internal politics (one of the top comments in the 'Hexbear defederated' thread is 'I'm concerned about 196'). If we never make efforts to outreach and talk with troubling libs, then we are doing absolutely nothing but preaching to ourselves.
Finding libs on which to directly dunk is the closest posting comes to praxis.
- i think trying was a good idea at least so that now the trans users of blahaj know there are other options out there. i strongly believe in trans unity and really wanted it to work out, but the fact is there are a ton of cis wreckers on blahaj making trans unity impossible with them. we've already seen many trans users of blahaj jump ship to here
- but I don’t think federating with them and at least trying was the wrong move either.
  You're arguing against a point that I didn't make. https://hexbear.net/comment/3601741 here I am advocating for hexbear to federate with everyone with a blocklist instead of an allowlist, but my point was that it was a waste of time to try and please the blahaj admins (or any other shitlib admin), the rules hexbear set out at the beginning of federation were just fine.
  
  I don't really get this response. I literally said
  I don't think federating with them and at least trying was the wrong move
  and then you say
  You're arguing against a point that I didn't make ... my point was that it was a waste of time to try
  Maybe we've just a crossed wire in communication here, but I very much think it was worth trying to get on with the admins, that it paid off in our favour and would have either way.

To me it wasn't. I knew western libs. They were never real about it. They just built a "culture" around a limited number of left-wing issues that didn't go against their core beliefs and now just keep being chauvinists.
- no more half measures walter

ELI Boomer: Why is 196 so popular and/or such a big thing? I understand that the rule says you should post something before leaving. But this results in typical meme community except the post titles are "rule" or a play on that word.
- how deep of a cut from the reddit lore do you want? like 1 sentence or the full story?
  
  Maybe one or two paragraphs? I don't want you to burn too much time/energy on this.

Honestly it was worthwhile for our new trans comrades. I didn't think it would ever last given all the problems with blajah.
- Maybe I should edit my post, my point wasn't that hexbear shouldn't have federated with blahaj, I'm in favor of federating with basically every instance besides complete nazi and spam ones, but I saw multiple people arguing that hexbear should curtail its behavior so that blahaj wouldn't defederate it and I've seen surprise that Ada acted like this, that's more what my post is about, that trying to cater to shitlibs will get you absolutely no where and no one should have been surprised by this series of events
  
  personally, I hoped we'd be able to block the problematic comms but keep the trans comms linked. it's their inability to enforce their own ToS on their moderators that actually surprises me. I think I've just forgotten what libs are like over the past few years and I think that's true for a lot of us. we're used to moderators and admins taking a firm hand while responding to input from the community. the spinelessness is more galling than anything else.
  
  I agree

Yeah it definitely could have been predicted, and was by others. I want to say even then it may have made sense to go through with it to have the experience to quell any concerns some might have but I'm not as sure about that as I once was.
- I think it's fine that hexbear federated with blahaj, and for me personally it didn't cross the line into a complete nazi instance so even if blahaj hadn't defederated from lemmygrad it's not like I would have been pushing for the grad admins to defed it, it's just more all the effort spent on trying to keep blahaj happy seemed very out of place to me. That kind of effort is wasted on shitlibs

I didn't know shit about this instance before federation, but a lot of our trans comrades wanted to make it work, which was a good reason to give it a go.
Although the fact they had defedded the Grad was always a bad sign, I agree

I'd just like to point out that
gets an exemption as it's not political, but religious.
Thanks!

idk Ada seemed to genuinely be trying. The comm specific mod yeah sure they can eat the poop off the pigs balls, but idk it feels like the admin was put between a rock and a hard place kinda.
Yeah yeah libshit this and that, but were it not for 196 I'd imagine hexbear would still be federated, and 'grad would never have been defederated in the first place? Maybe I'm giving them too much credit but again, I saw nothing of concern from Ada that couldn't be attributed to having rabid anticommunists in her ear
- https://hexbear.net/comment/3769480
  yeah this doesn't seem that genuine to me. Also, what rock and hard place? just remove the mod for fuck's sake, it's not that hard? and is complaining about wish to death to NATO seriously not bother you? Idk, why even give her any benefit of the doubt in this situation? She certainly didn't seem to deem it necessary to try and work something out with lemmygrad (at least I'm unaware of any communications between her and the lemmygrad admin team) instead of just quietly defederating when she first did it months ago, she basically just announced it buried deep in a thread 2 months ago https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/496688 https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/501598 and called us tankies, she's an anticommunist radlib at best
  
  When that happened it's when I knew I needed to jump ship from that instance lmao what a trainwreck
  
  If she'd reached out to us my response would have been that we'd have to reply to Ada, then Ada would have to reply to us, and then we'd get into an incessant back-and-forth with each of us having to reply to the other. It would be much more to the point to say that Ada is a traitor to the working class and everyone would understand.
  
  rip
- idk Ada seemed to genuinely be trying.
  You're obviously much more charitable than me, I am no longer willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.
  I could be wrong, but I think she knows exactly what she's doing.
  
  My interpretation is more charitable, but not exactly good. I think she's conflict averse and very aware that c/196 is most of the instance's users/traffic; dicking around with their guy would create her a lot of enemies very quickly, many of which might be enmeshed in her life in one way or another.
  But what would it really matter if any of these interpretations were correct, the actions taken wouldn't change.

78 comments