2d ago

‘I realised I’d been ChatGPT-ed into bed’: how ‘Chatfishing’ made finding love on dating apps even weirder

www.theguardian.com

Where once people were duped by soft-focus photos and borrowed chat-up lines, now they have to watch out for computer-generated charm. But it’s one thing to use a witty phrase – another thing entirely to build a whole fake persona …

Comments

FishFace @lemmy.world 2d ago
I'm planning to go even further and outsource the dating and intimacy to the bot was well - I'll just sit back and relax!
- Scratch @sh.itjust.works 2d ago
  Chat GPT, experience this dramatic irony for me!
- vane @lemmy.world 2d ago
  I bought a coffin, lay down in it and outsourced my entire life. Never felt more comfortable in my life.
- Wahots @pawb.social 1d ago
  Heh, they already beat you to it. If you haven't seen Her, you really should. It's a very poignant movie, but it has a good ending. It is extremely fitting as people get lonely.
  https://youtu.be/dJTU48_yghs
- ☂️- @lemmy.ml 1d ago
  it's more efficient to forget about it and just get back to work.
jjjalljs @ttrpg.network 2d ago
to meet the man she’d spent the last three weeks opening up to.
First off, don't chat for three weeks before a date. That's a terrible idea. You're going to build up a faulty model of who they are and then be jolted when you meet them in real life. Which is exactly what happened here.
Second, to all the people using chat gpt, I don't know how to say this nicely but fucking git gud. What a bunch of sad sacks that can't have a conversation, can't read a wikipedia article, can't even try their honest best.
a workaround for what he sees as the coded jargon of modern dating. “Like, what do you mean ‘What’s my attachment style?’” he balks. “Every girl on the apps has this thing about ‘love languages’ – it’s just gibberish
Is it though? Take five minutes to read about it if it's so ubiquitous. What a sack of shit.
I'm a pretty average guy and I was getting 1d4-1 dates per week just by matching with people and asking them out. You really don't need to do more than be genuine, present, and interested in them.
- jve @lemmy.world 1d ago
  Also, make sure to follow rule number one of dating: don’t be unattractive.
  
  Scubus @sh.itjust.works 1d ago
  Yeah lol, this guy says it easy, just get 1 to 4 matches a week. In the year before i deleted my tinder, i got one match. As far as im concerned, if this is what it takes to destroy online dating, im so down.
  
  jjjalljs @ttrpg.network 24h ago
  What do you mean exactly? If you think some people are just innately attractive and that's immutable and unattainable, that's nonsense.
  Easily changed stuff like a better haircut, better fitting clothes, a better photo, all go a long way.
  I'm a very average guy with a wardrobe of thrift store finds and band tshirts. I'm not even 6' tall. But I did try to whole-ass engage with every potential match instead of doing bullshit like chatgpt or copy-pasted ice breakers.
  Also a real fast way to be unattractive is having an ugly worldview. Most people aren't going to like someone who treats them like shit. Someone who has a genuine conversation and shares interests will go farther.
  
  Allero @lemmy.today 1d ago
  Everyone is attractive to someone, not necessarily by the looks, but by the spirit, character, and a personal charm.
  The problem is dating apps and how they shaped our dating sphere overall.
  Aside from intentionally picking mediocre partners with algorithms so you could never find a date and stay there forever, generating profits, the very structure of dating apps is super wrong.
  What do you see on most of them? A big photo and a tiny bit of text, which for most people ends up very generic. But looks is only one small part of the picture, and one that doesn't ultimately decide the fate of relationships for most people. It is exactly that text part that matters, and it cannot be a one-liner.
  To get to know someone, you have to talk, interact, and this very interaction is what breathes life into relationships and makes a date an actual date, and not just an evening stroll.
  I am certain you know something that will be interesting, amusing, funny to someone, that some people out there would love you as a partner. But, for the love of God, do not look for that someone on dating apps. You're wasting your time and confidence in a loop designed to have you do just that.
  Oh and - it is great that you don't have several dates a week. This fucks up so bad with the very idea of romance. Relationships are not bargaining chips and not scores to make track of. When you "date" like you choose your new jacket, all the magic and butterflies are gone.
  You're good, don't screw yourself up and you'll be golden. Speaking as someone with mid looks and personality and a lot of social awkwardness, while being in healthy long relationships with adorable partner.
- outhouseperilous @lemmy.dbzer0.com 1d ago
  But whar IG uou can't go thirty seconds without shouting "BLOODANDSOIL!" Or a ten page rant about how the people you want to fuck aren't actually people and rape is not only okay hur necessary? chatgpt could be helpful.
GingerGoodness @lemmy.world 2d ago
On Discord, a chat platform popular with gamers and tech communities, he came across channels dedicated to AI where other single men were exchanging tips about how to prompt ChatGPT to generate effective dating messages. “So, for instance, someone said that if you start a chat with a girl by asking her a list of questions – favourite film, dream holiday, that kind of thing – then paste her answers into ChatGPT, it would craft replies that would make you sound like her perfect match.” It proved effective. “It got me a lot more dates than I was getting before.”
If my spouse snuffs it before I do then I'm dying alone.
- khannie @lemmy.world 2d ago
  Same. Dating in the modern era looks terrifying.
LiveLM @lemmy.zip 1d ago
“Over the course of a week, I realised I was relying on it quite a lot,” she says. “And I was like, you know what, that’s fine – why not outsource my love life to ChatGPT?”
Good lord 🫩
- outhouseperilous @lemmy.dbzer0.com 1d ago
  
  Genuinely why not just kill yourself at that point? I do not understand.
  Edit: if you've put the work of love off to a computer, literally given up on your own humanity, why the fuck would you want to keep breathing?
AllNewTypeFace @leminal.space 2d ago
The next step is to have a social network where your chatbots date other users’ chatbots for you, and you can scroll through their updates
- BrikoX @lemmy.zip 2d ago
  AI personas are the future of dating, Bumble founder says. Many aren't buying.
  
  Doomsider @lemmy.world 19h ago
  Cool, now we can watch bots date each other!? They are taking Sims to the next level I suppose.
belated_frog_pants @beehaw.org 2d ago
If chatgpt answers convince you to fuck you need better standards
- outhouseperilous @lemmy.dbzer0.com 1d ago
  Or you didn't need to talk ay all.
BarrelsBallot @lemmygrad.ml 2d ago
Here we have the real terror of AI be it Super, General, or LLM. Throw out the layers of fear regarding power consumption, job loss, militarization, and potential human focused hostility surrounding any sort of sentience and you get AI's current and projected reality- the outsourcing of tasks that require wisdom, skill, and critical thought.
The average person will be long dead before a cartoonishly evil super intelligence could ever snuff them out. We will become a people freed from the friction and strain that builds mental muscle, and justifies the folds in our brains- all so we can have more time for unfettered consumption.
- fishy @lemmy.today 2d ago
  As a person who loves learning and building new skills, I find this absolutely abhorrent. If you never do anything challenging or difficult, you'll eventually be so far out of the skill curve that you'll lack the base skills necessary to develop more complex skills. These people are on their way to a combined Idiocracy/Wall-E future and I hate that they're dragging the rest of us down with them.
Wahots @pawb.social 1d ago
Honestly, I feel like some of what AI does isn't necessary. If you're having trouble finding out if someone is either being distant out of respect, or distant because they are uninterested, you could ask them in a kind way about what their vibes are. I think I'd prefer honesty over AI, and that's what I did when I was single and still dating.

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