5d ago

The Rapture could have happened, but nobody would know because everyone got left behind

45 comments

People should start posting that they know people who were raptured. That ~~was~~ way all the religious zealots will start to think they weren't good enough and got left behind.
Edit to fix typo.
- We do a little trolling...
- I love it "oh I'm sorry you didn't get picked, was it because you were thinking about what the gays really do in the bedroom?"
- religious zealots will start to think they weren’t good enough
  Self-doubt requires a capacity for self-reflection, though. None of the zealots I know have it, even to a small degree.
- Just start casually mentioning how there’s a lot less black people around lately.
  “My lawn service hasn’t been answering lately and my wife can’t get her hair done. It’s strange…”
- The problem is that a lot of those people base their entire moral framework around their religion, so if they think they were abandoned by their god, they might go apeshit and lose any actual morals they had left.
  
  Wanna bet its actually "god left me behind because I still have work to do here" or some bs?
  
  Maybe, but most of them crime and sin their way through every day because they think that if they confess their sins every week then God will forgive them and they'll get their golden ticket to the pearly gates anyway. I doubt much would change.
- Here's the thing, 99% of Christians didn't believe this. Any time you see a news article about a bunch of people thinking the world will end on a specific date, that is a very small minority of people because not only do all the big denominations (Catholic, Orthodox, Methodist, Presbyterian, Southern Baptist, etc.) teach against making predictions about the specific date and following people who make these predictions, the Bible itself quotes Jesus as teaching against this (and, interestingly, saying that even HE doesn't know when the day is)- Matthew 24:36
  But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.
  Of course this hasn't stopped people from trying to figure it out, but traditionally religious authorities have spoken out against it. The largest instance of people believing in the Rapture happening on a specific date was a specific religious sect called the Millerites whose leader said the world would end on October 22, 1844. This group was still a small minority, but they were big enough that you have probably still heard of them today - they became the 7th Day Adventists.

"You're not going to heaven Why the fuck would you think I'd ever kick it with you? None of you are going to heaven There's a trillion aliens cooler than you"
"From God's Perspective" - Bo Burnham
- This is probably in my top 3 favorite Bo songs , especially the latter bit:
  You argue and you bicker and you fight
  \ Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night
  \ Over what they think is true
  \ But no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you
  \
  \ You pray so badly for heaven
  \ Knowing any day might be the day that you die
  \ But maybe life on earth could be heaven
  \ Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?
  \
  \ My love's the type of thing that you have to earn
  \ And when you earn it you won't need it
  \
  \ I'm not gonna give you love just 'cause I know that you want me to
  \ If you want love then the love's gotta come from you
  Full Song

Um, I was told all the Christians would be gone. I'm rooting for the rapture as hard as they are these days.
- A lot of Christians according to Revelation won't be raptured because they worship or support the antichrist... Sounds like MAGA to me.
- ~~Be the rapture you want to see in the~~ no. Don't do that.

Even biblically speaking rapture isn't real, at least rapture american protestants or specifically evangelicals think.
- Neither was what they believe to be Hell until autocratic Rome, but look at 'em go.

All good people were raptured but their bodies are kept operating so us left on earth will never know.
Tell this to your local asshole evangelists. Let them deduct themselves that they are abandoned by god because they are shite.
- The Rapture turns you into a philosophical zombie is a new take I haven’t heard before

We would know. My dogs are still here.
- Exactly. It's not "all dogs go to heaven", it's "only dogs go to heaven."

If it happened, but nothing happened, did it really happen?

Well assuming the 100k rapture, only 1 in 60K people would be raptured.
So if it happened one person in an average city disappeared.
So if we can get a few thousand people to drop clothes on the streets on the same day, there would be no way for them to figure it out.
- 1 in 60K
  You are old
  
  I know, my kids remind me.

Well, Charlie Kirk got ruptured early.
- God: "Hey Chuck, I'm taking you early."
  Charlie: "Gurgggglggglge,... flop."

Reminds me of this lyric
The day the rapture came, a forgettable event
The clouds, they opened up and not a single person went
To the chromatic whistle of a carousel calliope
Stomp the citizens of our clown idiot dingbat society
https://genius.com/Propagandhi-victory-lap-lyrics

Uhhh, this would actually explain a lot right now...
But I think magic jesus definitely would've raptured up all the innocent kids and such.
So it'd be like what we're seeing now with trump in charge, just with all the decent people gone.
But then again I don't actually know how it would work, due to the simple fact that fairy tales aren't real.

Isn't there supposed to be like total destruction, war, famine and so on? Anyway, the world certainly has some of that, but the chaos hasn't reached every place. It's always tied to a particular place and time. It's not happening everywhere.
Anyway, that's just my vague Hollywood style interpretation of what it might be. I don't even know what Christians say about the Rupture.
- total destruction
  Climate change
  war
  point literally everywhere
  famine
  Gaza
  
  The famine is going to spread soon, once the lack of farm labour and shitty tariffs really start kicking in.
  
  That’s exactly what it feels like.

I bet all babies and toddlers would disappear.
But yeah, beyond that, I doubt there's an adult out there who doesn't break several of the 7 deadly sins many times a week: in present day society Greed and Envy are probably broken pretty much all the time, Wrath is probably a very common one for "conservatives" to break, and then there's Lust which is naturally common, Glutony which is certainly widespread given the overweight "epidemics" in most countries and Sloth is likely very common in car-centric societies - I mean, somebody taking their car to go 500m to a store to buy a pack of beers and some chips is probably guilty of both Glutony and Sloth.
That said, all the babies and toddlers and only them suddenly disappearing all at once would give it away.
- Some sects of Christianity believe that children inherit the sins of their parents, so even in the womb they don't qualify!

There are a few new missing persons reports on (what were) the last twelve remaining good people on the planet. The rest of us are down here jacking off in the bathroom with the fan on because parenthood has made it increasingly difficult (and way too risky) to do it in front of a computer.

I ruptured by poop hole. Does that count?

Pretty sure heat death of the Sun will get us before Rapture happens. Then again they might think that's Rapture event if humans still exist by that time.

I literally said this yesterday. Please stop eavesdropping

The Leftovers is just a "rapture" isn't it

Or Jesus could return, see what is happening, and think "fuck it, let's kill them all."

They would not recognize Jesus anyway, expecting a white man wearing a toga and a cross, and carrying an American flag and an AR15.

I posted the same thing on mastodon yesterday.

Maybe a pature happened, but it was Rush Limbaugh getting raptured down to an even lower depth of hell.

https://youtu.be/pV-_GDveft8

If the rapture was exactly as described by Revelations: You would definitely still fucking know, regardless of whether or not you got sent to Heaven. There's a lot more to it than just people flying into the sky.

45 comments