“Filling a Gap in the Market: Genetic Modification of a Carrot with a Flared Base”

we quickly encountered problems in sourcing willing volunteers for our study, however, and the ethics committee was adamant that the use of unwilling volunteers would result in disciplinary action.

Gold. I'd volunteer 🤤

This could've won an IgNobel if it were real.

I'm so sad this wasn't real.

So where’s the market on this one? We going to start seeing these on grocery store shelves or am I going to have to buy this discreetly?

Personally, I’d prefer farm to table.

Lol @ the one with the tail in the last pic

We are going to have to science the shit out of this one

I'm sure if someone was making a real study like this, they would get it accepted somewhere with proper peer review.

I've discovered a fundamental flaw in this study. A few reasons people use carrots is that they are cheap, and they are discreet. Presumably this variant would be significantly more expensive. Also, nobody thinks you're buying a regular to pleasure yourself, not the cashier, not your wife.

Endovegephilia is such a cursed word.

When asked to elaborate on if carrots would be involved in any discipline researchers were told to "Get out."

Bro what in the "i want to remove my eyes" fuck is that