people really struggle to see anything but binary, don't they?
people really struggle to see anything but binary, don't they?
22 comments
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I often see community memes and feel as though I took part in a collective fever dream. Good show
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As someone agender, I see gender as a performance, and sometimes I just don’t feel like acting.
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As someone genderful, I see gender as a performance, and I got the wrong script. Luckily, nobody seems to have noticed that I'm making it all up as I go along. XD
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First I've seen of that, genuine curiosity, is that another term for nonbinary? How would you define each.
Also, username checks out
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my understanding is that:
- nonbinary: identifies in any way that falls outside the woman/man gender paradigm. this includes but is not limited to agender people, and some other examples are genderfluid, bigender, and xenogender identities
- agender: lacks gender entirely or does not identify with any particular gender
so all agender people are nonbinary, but not all nonbinary people are agender
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Some agender people reject the NB and trans label, others use it. Personally, I've used all three but there was a point where I specifically identified as a gender but didn't think trans or NB were useful labels, so I rejected them even though I thought I'd technically fall under the broad definition.
For me, I was attracted to the agender label first because my basically feeling about gender was in was too autistic for gender. Before adopting the agender label, I was confused how someone who was autistic could be cis or trans. I thought gendered restrictions and norms were annoying and felt like I tended to ignore gender more than most on accident (ie: someone else pointing out that I was the only guy in a group on a couple occasions... Once when it was supposed to be girls' turn to change on the bus... Oops). Agender people at least on reddit seem to be overwhelmingly ace.
NB is a big umbrella. It would include agender, bigender, poly gender, demigender, gender fluid, etc.
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It's rough out there for some of us. I have long curly hair and massive curves (I can't even bind because of medical issues). Trying to get people to use any pronouns but she/her is a lot of work
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Gender is, at its heart, a social construct. You can accent certain features, even throw on a big sandwich board saying "I AM
<GENDER>
". But at the end of the day, you're banking on other people recognizing you as you want to be seen (and then not being trollish contrary assholes).If social conventions shift and lots of dudes start growing out long curls and padded pants, you'll be in luck. If every dude in America wakes up one morning and gets a crew cut and cuts weight to twinkish proportions, you're in trouble.
Maybe people could recognize gender as a function of fashion rather than a genetic branding marker. Then the idea of being non-binary or fluid would have enough socially acknowledged signifiers to click. Until then, just gotta be the trend-setter you want to see in the world and "dress non-binary" loudly, I guess? Or dress like a schlub and bank on baggy cloths blurring the lines enough for people not to think hard about it.
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This is why I tell people "any pronouns" despite almost always referring to myself as "it" or "they". I find it useful to hear how I am percieved, it helps me figure out just how "extra" I need to dress to be seen as a person of mixed gender.
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People naturally want the world to make sense.
Some folks find it more natural to ostracize those who don't fit within their worldview rather than updating their worldview to accommodate new information.
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I HAVE TO GO TO THE BANK TODAY!
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That uniform actually looks extremely binary...
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you don't look non-binary
mf, am I supposed to look like your narrow funnel of expression, you acorn? Did soup one day decide taste this stale, or did you also add butter to your gumbo?
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Did anyone say binary:
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I have to go to the bank after this! What am I going to tell them? I had good and bad news!?
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I can't say I loved the character of the dean all the way through, but damn if Jim Rash didn't perform the hell out of the role every single scene.
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One of my friends is nonbinary but they looks super masculine. Deep voice, into powerlifting, etc. I introduced them and their girlfriend to my parents when they were in town. Later my mom was so confused. "How can someone be attracted to women if they're non-binary"? She has been a high school teacher for forever. She's had plenty of students that were trans or used different pronouns than she assumed. I was so surprised that this sort of thing would slip through the cracks.
22 comments