3w ago

No brainer

253 comments

Easy, free gravel. Become a gravel salesman.
Would be interesting to see how it appears though. Can I get to just point to a spot and suddenly gravel? If so, charge people for the show too. Just rock up to their house, point at the driveway and boom, gravel. Easy money.
Added bonus: don’t like someone? Boom, house literally full of gravel.
Gravel.
- Just says that the gravel is free, not that you can generate it or make it appear. You've got a lifetime supply of gravel from suppliers but you still gotta move it around
  
  Still a free product. Normally gravel traders have to purchase the gravel, move it and sell it. Now you just have to move and sell it. Massive profits. Transport fees are for the customer too, so basically free as well.
  
  Built a greenhouse with a gravel foundation this summer. Doesn't matter if I have to move it. Free gravel is useful.
  
  What if it can't change to paid gravel? Like you try to sell it and people are like if it was free I'd take it, but I won't pay for that.
- You will have free grave in north Korea
- The bonus is just how I kill people in minecraft.
- I don't want to deal with people tho

Free gravel is so busted compared to the rest. Gravel's one of those things that you don't need often, but someone in any town on any given day will need some.
You could undercut every single other gravel business. Even if the competition lowers their prices dramatically, they can't go lower than their costs. Meanwhile, you have absolutely no costs on material. Gravel monopoly.
- Bet I could retire in a year, two at the outside. Have customers pick up at deep discount until I could get a pair of heavy trucks and drivers, pure gravy from there on out.
- If there are no limits of scale or delivery, i think it's OP.
  cut me off? I'm gonna follow you at a disance and summon 50 tons of gravel around your car.
  File an HOA complaint on me? You're going to need a bobcat to find your front door.
  Can i summon it anywhere without going there? You know how hard it is to get rid of gravel?
  
  You're going to need a bobcat to find your front door.
  I forgot that was a brand of front loaders for a second, and my brain went on a whole trip trying to figure why you'd need a bobcat.
  
  Can i summon it anywhere without going there?
  And do you create matter from nothing or do you relocate preexisting gravel? I see a way to virtually free unlimited energy here with the use of gravity batteries.
- I imagine this working in a monkey's paw kind of way. First, the local gravel suppliers just keep mis-delivering things to places where you happen to be. Then they start talking and figure out how to get rid of you so you stop costing them so much business. You survive, skip town, only to start again. You get incredibly wealthy from re-selling all this free gravel. Eventually, mountaintops start dissapearing due to all the illegal quarrying going on...
  
  This is much easier to do the monkey paw routine by saying "you get one free piece of gravel per 100 years.:
- Not to mention the transport cost, and the usefulness of gravel as fill material on major building and infrastructure projects.

If there's no cooldown and no cost on teleport, maximum distance doesn't really make a difference
- It does if trying to go through an 8” thick wall.
  
  Or across an 8" ocean.
  
  No you just immerse in the wall for a femtosecond.
- Even with a cooldown or something like that, a real world 'blink' ability, even of just 7 inches, would be utterly devastating in hand to hand combat, as well as potentially in ranged/armed combat as well.
  Just imagine scenes from John Wick but also, every 30 minutes, he can just 'blink' up to 7 inches to dodge or connect a punch, kick, grab, close range shot, move just a bit further into cover, closer to a magazine needed to reload, etc.
  Granted, you would also have to be very careful to not uh, Philadelphia Experiment / phase shift into a fucking wall or some other person or something.
  A 7 inch 'blink' takes Keanu Reeves a step from John Wick... toward Neo, this would be completely 'broken' in the hands of a skilled and trained fighter, even if they can only use it once a day, as a kind of 'ultimate' or w/e.
  Like uh, try hand to hand fighting someone in Cyberpunk 77, with yourself set up as close to a plain jane human as possible... up against a melee fighter with sandevistan.
  
  Forget combat, how many times have you nearly missed slipping and falling while climbing stairs because of imperfect foot placement?
  Well, for when you actually and up being in a bad enough position to slip, you get to save yourself, positioned perfectly for the next stride.
- If abusable the look 10 hours younger one could be sick to go along with this.
- What if you can only teleport with a pill? What happens when you ingest a whole handful? Are you teleposing in different directions simultaneously?
  
  Yes but they all cancel each other out leaving you unmoving.
- My thoughts exactly. Flying unlocked

Seeing inside empty containers is way more useful than it seems.
- My thought exactly. You know immediately if it's empty
  
  That whole Geraldo safe thing could have been avoided
- are clothes considered containers? asking for a friend
  
  Yes. Any empty clothes are yours to see inside.

I could do so much with free gravel, you have no idea.
- If you have even the most-basic business sense, this instantly turns you into an uber-wealthy gravel tycoon.

3 is overpowered, it's basically FTL if the reload time is low
- The reload time is zero, but teleporting N meters away takes N seconds. Oh, and it looks like the transporter effect from Star Trek where you fade out and get all sparkly.
- I'm playing a Pathfinder game where my character has something roughly resembling this ability, and so far it has allowed my party to essentially skip a few fights.
  
  So curious about any funny stories. Like tried to get on the other side of a wall but you're skinniest character is 7.5 inches at the chest so their scapula gets stuck in some thatched wall so now they look like some kind of hay Angel.
- Yeah teleporting 7 in if there's no time like between teleportations is godlike.
- I was going to say, 3 is my choice. Subtly powerful and useful. Just have to be creative, even if it isn't actually that much faster

I am pretty sure you can sell gravel soooo
- But this gravel is free.
  
  Not when I’m through with it.
  
  Free for you, not the people you sell it to.

Free Gravel?
This one is clearly the best choice. That shit is expensive!
Start a gravel business, destroy the competition, and create a gravel empire.
- Cover the whole world in gravel!!! MWAHAHAHAHA

ANY toaster. If you go to a wedding or any formal event with drinks, you can control whoever's giving the toast. That could be pretty powerful.
- Puppeteering at its finest.
- Also, anything that generates enough heat in the presence of bread is, in fact, a toaster.

7 inch teleport sounds genuinely useful in a fight. Also, couldn't you just keep teleporting 7 inches? It might still be faster and easier than running.
On the other hand, infinite gravel...
- Could be useful, but it says nowhere that your clothes will teleport with you.
  
  Then getting dressed and undressed will be a lot faster.
  
  Getting your tackle out; a war tradition almost as old as bonking someone on the head with a metal object.
  Less practiced by armed militias and moreso 'crackhead locals' these days; it remains an incredibly effective tactic.
- There was nothing that said you can't teleport up. Meaning you can go up and over. Almost no effort way of getting our of traffic or cleaning the gutters, fixing things up high. Or ya know essentially low flight. This is all assuming there is no cool down and its like walking.
- Also, 7 inches are generally enough to teleport through a wall
  
  Is it tho? If your body moves 7", the new position of your back would still be behind where your front was, at least for my fat ass. So you couldn't clear a wall. But if it's a problem to teleport into a wall, then it would also be a problem to teleport into the air where you're going. And if you left a sudden vacuum behind you, it would create a dangerous shock wave as it collapsed.

The teleport 7 inches thing might be nice for getting through locked doors
- I worry about those who are thicker than 7 inches. That might cause some Cloverfield Paradox shit, where your innards wind up fuzed with a door. Skinny folks only.
  
  I mean, it doesn't say there's a cooldown, so in theory you could just spam it a shitton of times and no matter how thick the door is, you'll get through it.
  
  You appear in the closest unoccupied space.
  
  Yeah, it'd be really important to understand how the 7 inches are measured. Like...is it 7 inches in the same way I mean 7 inches when I say it? Or more like a literal-on-a-ruler 7 inches?
- That is exactly what I though. There are benefits to this one for sure.

You guys are sleeping on 1.
The secrets of the oysters could be yours.
- Yes, but I love oysters.
  Hearing them scream as I scarf a dozen of them? Not opposed, but seems like that's going to ruin the meal.
  
  Maybe they’re into vore, you don’t know.
- You want my treasure? You can have it! I left everything I gathered together in one place! Now you just have to find it!

Okay, I'll bite this time.
Don't see any use.
Sell gravel. Become rich.
If no cooldown you can spam and teleport anywhere as long as there's a path between A and B
Not sure.
Turning on every toaster in the world at the same time would probably cripple the various power grids globally.
If it stacks you could look quite young.
Could probably make some money checking if safes are empty or not. Doesn't say anything about distance. Could remotely check containers for people. Depends as well on the definition of empty.
Would be hugely beneficial to some archeologists.
For anyone who is unable to walk currently this would be good. What happens if you cut your legs off? Can you fly afterwards?
- Don't see any use.
  
  ~~Not sure~~ Might be useful, but who nose.
  FTFY
  ...Depends as well on the definition of empty.
  "Yep, another container that does not contain a perfect vacuum. Should have taken the free gravel pill..."
- If you pick 9 and then cut your legs off, you'll have the ability to run as fast as Albert Einstein with his legs cut off could.
  
  Imagine how fast that guy could go if he devoted his life to building performance accessibility aids instead of pursuing physics. He probably would have robotic cybernetic legs that outperformed any human runners.

Free gravel! Fuck yeah!
Living in the rural area and having pretty long private road i would be really happy for free gravel.
Bonus points if i can desite how coarce it is. During winter the yard gets really icy and small gravel would make it better.

I want to say free gravel, but I need to know how its manifested. In a big pile where I want it? Or like never ending handfuls of pocket gravel?
- "With a heavy heart, this broadcast regrets to inform our audience that President Donald Trump has been crushed by a spontaneous pile of gravel. Investigators are still looking into the source."
- Nobody said it was manifested. They said it's free. Here's your free bonus pickaxe, lazy bones.
- Exchange skittles for gravel

Free gravel, then sell it. Just make sure to not summon too much gravel so the price doesn't go down.

It still allows you to determine whether containers are empty, which is situationally useful.
- It could actually be insanely overpowered depending on interpretation.
  "Instantly see inside any empty container"
  What does it mean to "see" inside a container? If that just means "know what the contents are" (i.e nothing) then it's limited, but if it means literally see with remote sight, that's much more useful - depending on this next part...
  What does "inside" mean? Does it mean we can only observe the interior, or can we look out from the interior as if our point of view occupies it?
  And finally, what constitutes an "empty container"? Is a container still a container if it doesn't have a lid? Or do its sides need to be opaque? By most interpretations, a glass with no liquid would easily fit the definition of an empty container...
  At its most favourable then, this power gives you the ability to remote surveil any location where a common, everyday empty glass could be found. Very powerful indeed.
  
  Strictly limited to transparent Tupperware
  
  It also doesn't seem to list a distance limit?
  I'm now observing from the inside of an empty Tupperware container in a Top Secret facility.
- Imagine the faces of those street hustlers who make tourists play three cups and ball game.
  
  Bro thinks the ball is real.
- Nah, thinking about it, it's much more useful than that. You can presumably see inside of the container itself. Think about how many difficult and dangerous jobs involve inspecting the inside of septic tanks, aircraft fuel tanks, etc. Hell if we stretch the definition of container you could inspect the inside of an engine cylinder.
  Or, monkey's paw, containers with air in them aren't empty. Then it's very difficult to use.

Free gravel for life could be a game changer.
- You still pay the shipping fees.
  
  The pill said nothing about that.

3 would get you through almost any door. Definitely my choice.
7 though, this would make you a star in the DEA. Imagine seeing inside everyone's tires, and then you find one you can't see inside. "Whatcha got in those tires, son?" I'm sure there could be other uses.
2, you could run a business on free gravel but you're mostly paying for processing and delivery so you would only have a small edge on your competition. It's still a lot of work and big heavy expensive trucks.
- Depends on what is meant by "free gravel", though. Given the effects of the other pills, it gives me the impression I can just summon gravel on command. In which case, I'd only have to pay for my own transportation.
- I thought the same thing about 3 until I realized that I’m more than 7 inches tall/wide/deep, so I can’t actually pass through anything, just get horribly mangled when I make it halfway through the door.
  Now here’s the million dollar question: how many times per second can I teleport? Because if I can teleport at let’s say 1khz… now we’re talking

Teleport 7 inches away easy lock in:
Teleport up 7 inches on a generator perpetual motion machine.
Walk through thin walls / safes.
Repeatedly teleport forwards never have to walk again.
Teleport out of bed every morning.
Teleport out of clothes at night / sexy times
Look cool AF.
- Unless your body is less than 7 inches wide, all but the first and third one of those is going to involve nightmarish scenarios of walls, clothes, etc. getting stuck in your body.
  
  Does momentum reset after a teleport? Could I jump off a cliff and teleport left and right like going down stairs?
  
  Then teleport again
- Hell, not even that. You could become a world class boxer or UFC fighter. You can basically slip any punch or attack instantly and you can teleport your fists into the sweet spot to score a knockout. You would be an amazing baseball player as well, you can teleport to perfectly hit any ball at just the right angle. As a quarterback you would be insane too, you can readjust to any play instantly. In fencing you'd basically be unstoppable, you can dodge everything. For any sport or physical activity being able to teleport 7 inches is insanely overpowered. The person who came up with this doesn't play any sports.

I would be the Gravel King. You need gravel, you come to me. I would be a benevolent king though. I would grant gravel to those that need it.
- Exactly. This one is infinite money glitch
- It doesn't say the quantity, though. It might be a very small amount every so often. But, if that's not the case, and if we also get to choose where the gravel appears, then I'm using it to construct a man made island out in international waters.
  
  Yeah, the devil is in the details. Is there a cooldown? Are there quantity limitations? Location could be interesting because you could put ten tons of gravel a mile high and drop it. You could have Nasa pay you to quickly assemble a compacted gravel mini-moon at a lagrange point for a space dock.

Can run as fast as albert einstein, but don't actually take the pill. Use it only when you or a loved one is immobilized by old age or injury. Nothing to lose, even if its a bogus '0mph, he's dead' pill.
- I was thinking it would be an excellent choice for my wheelchair bound coworker
  
  If I were to lose my ability to walk, would I choose:
  ability to maybe walk, maybe like an old man, maybe not
  ability to teleport along with my stuff, 7" per thought
  On the other hand, maybe I can only teleport once, for when I take the pill. That might end up being pretty useless for this case.

Are we talking about Albert Einstein in his prime, or Albert Einstein now?
- Could we put Einstein's bones in a centrifuge, and run at 200km/h?

I feel like everyone is underestimating 5. It's any toaster. Make a killer robot that happens to have the ability to make toast and you've got a remote control death bot.
I'd make a whole set of devices that happen to also be toasters. Why not add some heating elements and springs to an elevator, a car, a plane?
- Yeah, you could hook up a sensor to detect the toaster coming on and basically control electronics with your mind.
- It's so obviously this or the gravel.
- Sorry bud, you can only control it to act in its capacity to make toast.

Sheer horror. You'll never be able to eat these again.
This has been brought up before. Gravel isn't cheap. This is basically infinite money.
If used continuously, you're basically The Flash.
Just a bad idea unless you can put it inside your existing nose for double the sniff-sensitivity.
Okay, that's just fun.
Again, used continuously, this is the fountain of youth. You'll still die of old age though.
Only useful under very specific circumstances. Also, define a "container".
Unless the Khitan civilization knew things we don't, this isn't useful at all.
Fast as he is now or when he was alive?
- I'm thinking that #7 might be useful in certain policing or security positions, depending on the definition of empty (there's always dust and air).
  Got a bunch of containers that need to be inspected? You can cross the ones you can see through off the list.
  Also useful for winning the cup-and-ball game
  
  It allows you to remotely see anywhere in the world where a transparent container (like a glass) is.
- Sheer horror. You’ll never be able to eat these again.
  I think they're just going so cold, water please, drowning....kill me.....
- 8, resurrect a dead language will make some linguists overjoyed
- Again, used continuously, this is the fountain of youth. You’ll still die of old age though.
  How would that work? "Age" isn't some inherent property of atoms.
  
  The text just says look 10 hours younger. To me, that means un-doing all the apparent signs of aging: superficial stuff. Less wrinkles, fewer sunspots/freckles, hair is back where it used to be, no more cataracts, etc. Meanwhile, your internal organs, bones, and muscles keep going with the usual aging process.
- 5 is awesome. My house will be full of toasters hooked up as switches for things.

Free gravel sounds great, but nowhere is the amount specified, if you get a handful of gravel every day for life that's not helpful.
Teleport 7 inches sounds good, if the effect of the pill isn't a one time thing. Do you only teleport 7 inches when digesting the pill? Do you keep teleporting? Can you stop teleporting? ;)
- Also, is the direction controllable or random?
- Lol perpetual 7 inch teleport

WAIT.
Any toaster?!
- Given that "Internet of Things" devices like smart toasters can be used as targets/jumping off points for cyberattacks, that one could turn you into a god who could hack with your brain (sort of).

Toss up between 3 and 7 for me, though the gravel one could have some niche uses.
TP can be abused pretty easy if there's no physical impact on my body for doing it repeatedly.

Are these one time use? Like you gain the ability to talk to oysters forever? Grow a new nose as many times as you want? Or talk to oysters for 5 minutes and one extra nose?
Become a water quality assessor with instant and accurate data on pollutants, if there are invasive species, whether or not there are pearls present, and any other information oysters can offer about the environment.
Instant paving/gravel business with a huge profit margin compared to competitors.
Depends on the locus of movement. If 7” only, like a quarter step in any direction, kinda useless*. If moving your entire body 7” away from it’s previous location, good for theft I guess if the barrier is less than 7” thick.
*if you can “spam” the 7” movement rapidfire with no speed limit, you can travel as fast as you can wherever you want in a “stuttering” teleport.
Useful to someone disfigured, lost one to skin cancer or other issue.
Depends on what you limit a toaster to and what constitutes control. If you can control any facet of any device that heats the interior for purposes of heating the contents to a specific temperature, then this is really powerful. Engines “toast” fuel. Kilns “toast” everything from carbon fiber to ceramics to tempering glass. You now operate the only successful fusion reactor on the planet. The ability to control the specific heating of any material in an enclosed environment would have wide application.
Spam it.
Catching smugglers? If a container that should be empty isn’t, you can’t see in it.
Get your name in the history books as an expert on the peoples and culture surrounding the language.
If you were a paraplegic this would be life-changing.
- The gravel one is gonna have some stupid loophole, like it's one pebble a day, but infinite and free.
  
  Free gravel appears instantaneously at will, but only in the very center of Ohio
- I don't think Mr. Einstein is able to run very fast, atm...

3 and 7 are pretty OP if used correctly
- Like Wish.com Nightcrawler. You can hide so fucking well, as long as there are a bunch of empty containers around.

7 would be really useful for those games where you have to find the ball under the cup. You can instantly tell if you’re being swindled, and always win.

Running as fast as Albert Einstein would be a considerable improvement.
- Einstein can't run at all. He died years ago.
  
  Hey, it's all relative.

3 means general immunity to locked doors and restraints
- Doors no... handcuffs yes.
  
  Most doors are not 7" thick...

Teleport 7 inches only because doing so in quick succession could look really funny
- Go slim under 7 inches and teleport through very thin walls.
  
  That’s not very thin walls though. Average walls are 4.5”. Walls with things like plumbing are usually only 6.5”. Teleporting 7 inches would be hella useful.

7 is actually useful? I don't understand the debate
- How is seeing inside of an empty container useful? There's nothing in it
  
  Play "Deal or No Deal"
  
  Could maybe win some money gambling on cup shuffle?
  
  Cuss then you know which ones has stuff
- Most things people consider "empty" are still full of atmospheric gases, dust, etc.
  You could see inside of a sterile container inside of a vacuum chamber.
  
  That container still has space inside of it.

Gravel is basically free already. The real cost is putting it where you want it to be.
- I mean that is the best pill. It's like inheriting a free quarry. I could instantly undercut every other quarry and would not need to maintain any of the crushers or land to provide any type of gravel.
  I'm definitely choosing that one for sure.

Could definitely use free gravel

breed oysters > profit
sell gravel
still prob useful if you chain teleport real fast?
why
must be a job somewhere for you

can instantly tell if a container isnt empty, work in customs or something?
doctorate in archeology
albert einstein when? now? yikes, when he was young? depends on your relative age and physical form
- Communication doesn't mean you can breed them. I can communicate with you and someone else but it doesn't mean that I can convince you to breed.
  
  No but you could gain a greater understanding of their needs. You can always learn the job on top of that. Oyster probably don't need much convincing anyway.
- What if you fed the 4rth pill to an oyster thus making it grow a second nose.
  What is its first nose?
  Bonus points if you have a friend that can talk to them in order to know how they feel about it.

Toaster control for sure. After selling my robot toasters as a cheap way to communicate with satellites, I'll command an army of them all over the solar system.

Can I take a pill that gives me a whole sub for discussing these?

#7 Can instantly see inside any empty container
Everyone that watches Love Island and won't shut up about it are now transparent
- Buddhist monk mediating: I am but an empty vessel.
  You: Bro, you had rice for lunch.

7 has the mild convenience of quickly eliminating any empty containers from search for whatever you're missing. But really Free Gravel is the winner here.
- How do we define empty? Is air empty? If yes then at which gas do we delineate empty vs not empty?

Depending on how fast you can teleport you could move pretty quickly. Even 12 teleports a second gets you 4.5 mph in any direction. Could be useful depending on the cooldown but for any significant speed you’d need to teleport really quickly. 20 teleports a second is almost 8 mph
- It does raise the question on if this could be useful in some sort of hand to hand combat situation. What happens if I my fist is 6" away from your face and I teleport 7" forward? I guess the same question applies to walls. If I can just teleport through matter, then it's usefulness is suddenly quite high.
  
  Only if you don’t value your hand. Perhaps you could teleport a hammer into someone’s face

I'll take 7 for sure. Now it's time to consider "what defines a container?"
Alternatively 2 or 3 depending on how the gravel is delivered and/or if I can chain teleport.
- The empty part is probably more necessary to define.
  You may only be able to see inside empty containers in a vacuum
  
  Or being able to see everything because matter is mostly made of empty space
- "Doctor, please help me! I have a terrible pain in my side."
  "It's just gas. Trust me."

I will take 5 please, nothing more frustrating then the toaster misbehaving!

Gravel can be turned into sand. Sand can be turned into concrete and glass. So this one scales pretty quickly.
On the other hand, all I have to do is build a single toaster robot that can build other toaster robots and I’m on my way to toaster robot army.
- Just overload the toasters of your enemies and burn down their houses

Considering how my driveway gets completely washed away any time it rains, I'm going with #2 no questions asked.
Don't even have to read the rest of them, gravel is expensive!

Control toasters, duh. I'm gonna survive the AI revolution

Even if we decide that the teleport might not get you through doors, if you could spam it faster than (works out maths...) 10 times per second, they you could hover, or really slowly fly (about 0.8 inches per second horizontally)

Putting a toaster inside a robot so I can control it with my mind and have an army of these

Is that a clean 7 inches, or would teleporting sideways cross over with some space I previously occupied?
- There’s no cooldown so you can teleport an infinite distance as long as it’s magic Star Trek teleportation and not The Prestige murder based teleportation
  
  Star Trek teleportation might also be a bit murdery. You are disassembled to your molecules, sent over in a high energy beam and reassembled. Also there's a mild risk to end up in an evil mirror universe.

253 comments