1周前

Modern Windows in a nutshell

215 留言

We're going to restart your computer during active hours. Your work will be interrupted. Fuck you.
- Interrupted, and not saved
  
  Isn't everything being saved automatically anyway, when you work in the cloud (i.e. SharePoint)?
- Yeah, came home to my pc having restarted itself for updates the other day, despite having 2 VMs running at the time that were not properly shut down. Then Windows tried to push their cloud backup on me... twice, and it reset my mouse speed to the default for some reason
  
  Then Windows tried to push their cloud backup on me... twice
  This is major boundary respect by Microsoft's standards
- The 'keep changing hours' section in this article works for me whenever I have to use that partition.
  https://www.thewindowsclub.com/windows-updates-restart-disable
  You pretty much create the script and have the task scheduler run it hourly. (You should be able to make it silent, though I've never bothered for the hourly, half-second cmd blip)
  
  I want a script that forces the update servers at Redmond to reboot every hour on the hour
  
  You should be able to make it silent
  You can make it silent. Create a .vbs file, open it in a text editor, and input the following...
  Set WshShell = CreateObject("WScript.Shell") WshShell.Run chr(34) & "z:\path\to\your\script.cmd" & Chr(34), 0 Set WshShell = Nothing
  Have your scheduled task run the .vbs, rather than your initial script.
- inb4 some commenter says this doesn't happen.
  
  It doesn't happen to me, but I took a proactive approach to prevent it from happening. I don't remember what that action was, since I did it years and years ago... but I know it's possible. You just have to literally more than nothing to prevent these things.
  Or you could switch to linux... but that takes an even more proactive approach.

Hmm something’s missing. Where is the ai integration?
- “Your clock has been set to UTC+08:00 since this is what most people use.”
  
  Not enough AI. Gotta use the webcam+AI to set the timezone to one that's most frequently used by people of whatever ethnicity it thinks you are.
  
  Actually Indians
- Oh no. We're going to get Vibe Clocks aren't we? AI is just going to spit out times and it's on you to check to make sure it's correct.
  
  But with a twist!
- Hi I'm Clock Copilot
  Set up an alarm at 7:53 am? Statistically this when most people wake up.
  No
  Set a 8:00:85 timer? To make you feel better about your dead grandma?
  No
  *Sets an 2:30 am timer anyway
  
  im clock copilot and I will never gonna give you up every morning at 05:00 am from now on
- "Hello, I'm your AI chat companion that consumes mass amounts of energy to help consult you on what time you should wake up to be efficient with your energy and time, how may I help?"
- After copilot was put into notepad I believe it
- What do you think this update is for?
  
  Replacing some code/bug that‘s been present since xp probably would be my second guess.
  I’m still waiting(but not really) for them to fix the rdp app(msstore) but instead they killed it and now we have the „windows app“. What the fuck is even that backwards nondescript name.
- llm counting the seconds for you lmao

And why the fuck is windows always "preparing" to do something!? Are you generating a record of my activities to phone home with? Just do the damn thing!
- Well, downloading maybe. But it should just say fuckin downloading!

I recommend Windows 10 IoT Enterprise LTSC, which is supported until 2032 and has never required me to update my fucking clock or calculator, never crashed my SSD, and never randomly encrypted my hard drive and lost the recovery keys! And, there’s no OneDrive, Copilot, Recall, Cortana, Clippy, or whatever else Microsoft’s cocaine addled executives have come up with this week to FUCK us.
Since thats the standard for operating systems we’re working with now, I’d say this one is pretty good!
Here’s how you can purchase your copy today!
- Isn't the IoT version missing some features?
  The real fix is to switch to Linux.
  Also, what's wrong with Clippy?
  
  IoT is missing all the features I hate, but they can usually be installed manually if desired.
  I’m holding out till 2032 for Linux by which time I will be dead or ready to switch.
  I was one of those cool 90’s kids who hated Clippy, and I am still just as immature.
  
  the windows store is not a real feature
- Here’s how you can purchase your copy today!
  🧑‍🍳🤌
  aka Chef's kiss
- purchase
  ?
  
  He linked to the Mass Activation Script. The same way I purchase all Microsoft products.
  
  Yes, purchase legitimately from Microsoft with a genuine Microsoft license key from Microsoft because software piracy is wrong and totally not justified in the face of abusive software monopolies.
- I'm using Win11 LTSC and it's great for the same reasons.
- This is sweet! Didn't realize it existed. Been dreading the 11 BS and clawing all the enshittification out. I wish I could do linux on my main machine, but CAM is still not pro grade.
  big sloppy kiss
- Honestly I'll just stick to a custom Windows 11 image if I need Windows.
  Chris Titus tech even has a tool to build one
- On the computers I still have running windows, this is what I'm using and I have dodged So much of the bullshit people have been dealing with. I'm still running Linux on my main machines though. Maybe by the end of the year I'll have migrated everything away from both Microsoft and Google.

Just a moment
Progress bar at 100%
Progress text reads "complete"
Wait 2 hours
- Why am I reminded of Monty Python's Meaning Of Life?
  "Doctor, what do I do?"
  "NOTHING! YOU'RE. NOT. QUALIFIED!"
  "PING!"
  
  What was that?
  That means your baby is STILL ALIVE!

I installed Windows 11 on my new office PC yesterday, and it took hours.
The initial boot took forever because it decided it needed to do an update as part of the install,
Then after install when you enter your Microsoft account details so it downloads the entire internet including OneDrive (gross),
Then you switch to AU locale because despite saying I'm in Australia during install it's set me up as US language and currency and imperial measurements etc but Melbourne timezone (also incorrect),
Then you uninstall and disable all the stupid Candy Crush and celebrity news (in the start menu?? why??) and LinkedIn and Xbox gaming crap and all this other stuff that just appears,
Allocate another day to uninstall all the MS Office stuff I don't want (especially OneDrive),
Then you can install Firefox and Thunderbird and Nextcloud and Libre Office and Irfanview and accounting software,
And finally everything starts syncing and away we go time to be productive...
Jokes! Critical update and it's time to reboot multiple times.
I can boot from a Ventoy USB and have a new distro installed and working on my laptop in under an hour ffs.
- This has happened twice now: I'll build a new PC about the time my father will buy a tower from Dell.
  Mine comes in 4 boxes from 3 vendors over the course of a few days. His arrives fully assembled with an OS installed.
  I take 3 or 4 hours to put the machine together, boot into a Linux live session, let the installer run, I get up and do something else while that goes. When that's done, I boot into the OS, run a big ol apt or dnf or whatever command to install most of the software I like, that runs for awhile, that installs my backup software. I restore a file backup from my old machine, that runs for an hour or so, gotta love spinning rust external hard drives. And then I'm moved in and up and running.
  My father, meanwhile, will:
  Erase the copy of Windows that Dell included on the machine and install it fresh, which might be the only way to actually remove McAfee.
  Spend an entire week, full time, installing software. Downloading setup.exes from vendor websites, running install wizards, telling Windows "Yes, put these program files in the Program Files folder" several dozen times in a row, installing some stuff to include MS Office from disc, which Windows increasingly fights him about.
  Somehow also taking a rather long time manually restoring file backups.
  Tweaking settings for DAYS.
  I'll have an SSD fail. I'll go to Best Buy, buy another off the shelf, pop the thing in, and either reinstall the OS and my software, which is a rather straightforward automatic process, or simply restore my most recent file backup, which is a couple clicks, depending if it's my / or /home drive.
  My father...look, some men build model train sets, some men paint, some men plant gardens, some men fish, my father backs up his computer. I have a cabinet full of HIS backup hard drives because he's playing pretend he has "offsite backups." When he suffers an SSD failure, he:
  Comes over to my house to monologue about it for 5 to 10 minutes
  Spends an afternoon on the phone with Dell. At some point he convinces them to honor the warranty he paid extra for.
  1.5 weeks later the one service tech Dell has for this state arrives with an SSD and installs it.
  Engage the full manual reinstall business, because 1. he's got his whole system on one drive, and 2. for some reason he isn't willing to actually use the full system image backups he takes.
  
  he convinces them to honor the warranty
  Your dad got a long beard by any chance? Has he got a pointy hat with stars on it?
- IfranView 🥹 respect 🫡
  
  Irfanview is definitely one of the image viewers of all time.
  When I moved away from Windows one of the things I missed was the super lightweight image viewer from the XP and 7 days (even on Windows 10 I used to still copy the exe over from a backup because it was way better than the bloated shitty Photos app, or whatever Microsoft was trying to push)
  I really wanted a replacement image viewer that was minimalistic, lightweight, and supported deleting images with a keystroke from the viewer - a feature absolutely essential as I like to arrow-key back and forth through photos and trim the fat, a feature many viewers somehow don't support.
  After trying out just about every option there was, my favourite has ended up being qView.
  It's FOSS, cross platform (Linux, macos, Windows) and pleasantly fast.
  https://interversehq.com/qview
- But does Ventoy have OneDrive?
  /s
  
  I see and acknowledge your /s, but the serious answer is Ventoy doesn't but many Linux distros offer OneDrive support out of the box and the onboarding process will help you set it up.
- Considering all the OSS you're using, why not run Linux? Not permitted by work?
  
  The accounting software we use (which does NOT run under WINE, despite many hours trying to make it so) and Irfanview are my sole remaining reasons. At home everything is some flavour of Linux.
  Also the lack of virtual filesystem support for Nextcloud is a secondary factor. Important as my Nextcloud storage is significantly larger than a reasonably priced SSD. I believe it's technically available in a bit of an alpha stage under Linux now though?
- If you still want (or need) to use Windows, I've found Ninite to be a great time saver.
  I really need to try Ventoy. I've had 3 people recommend it to me so far.
  
  Ninite was clutch back in my Windows days.
  Ventoy works pretty well, though some people will tell you not to use it due to there being transparency issues with the source code (something about "BLOBS"? I dunno, I'm not a programmer).
- It's a good thing that windows is so easy and user friendly. Right?
  Right guys?
- Don't forget the whack-a-mole of finding which 'features' got turned back on with the critical updates.
  
  'accidentally' turned back on.
- This might assist you in the windows horrors
  https://github.com/Raphire/Win11Debloat
- Use Windows LTSC
- Installing Windows 10 or 11 has never taken more than an hour for me, from initial boot all the way to finalizing all updates. Don't know what your issue was, but it is not the norm.
  
  I had to have Windows not in a virtual machine for a work thing. Installed Windows 10 off a USB in a dual boot on a laptop that was already running Mint (last week). Install time was ~7-10 mins, no Microsoft account required or tricks to get around it. It pulled all the drivers for the Thinkpad when I connected to WiFi on the Desktop screen, and it updated and restarted in about 10 mins. Throw in that I configured my tool bar and themes and set my background to a flat color / changed the settings for performance over looks. Maybe 25 minutes total.
  No candy crush or anything to uninstall because the install was created using the Media Creation Tool using the selection to install on another machine.
  I use Linux on my machines standardly, and prefer it. My biggest issue was that I had to decide if I wanted to install Grub afterwords because Windows will overwrite your bootloader or just hit f12 everytime.
  
  I don't think it's taken less than an hour for me in the past decade

My wife came to me saying her laptop wasn't working. She was on it last night. It was forcing a Windows account login. Shift-10 disabled so I couldn't bypass.
Microsoft can straight fuck itself after this. Trying to brick an 8 year old laptop with a local account. Fuck that noise. My wife is gonna have to learn Linux.
- trying to reinstall Windows on a used computer I got recently sent me over the edge. holy fucking shit that was so complicated. there is just no way to install windows without a Microsoft account now, their documentation is both out of date in some locations, non-existent in others (posts removed), and seemingly up-to-date yet incorrect in other locations. I followed the instructions for installing with a Microsoft account and then unlinking it, and it was fucking hell. I had to do some back door shit (not really, but stuff that the average user doesn't stand a chance of doing) in order to get my account actually unlinked so that I could sign in with the local credentials
  I will not be buying Microsoft again. just going to transition slowly as Windows 10 fades away
  
  Download pro, during install before setting initial account: shift+f10 (may have to hold fn key if laptop). When the cmd box opens type oobe\bypassnro hit enter an PC reboots. Disconnect networking. Say I don't have internet. Now you can do local accounts.
  
  I installed Windows 11 on my machine a few months back because i couldn't get Cities Skylines 2 to run properly under linux. What a fucking mess. only had it for a few hours before i went back to linux. Ahh the serenity.
- This would be illegal in a world not run by Microsoft and companies like it.
  
  I think it's illegal in the EU

How long have you been waiting? You'll never know mwahahaha
- Windows server 2016 has entered the chat

We replaced "Clock" with ClockPilot. It is so much better! Go ahead ask Clock Pilot what time it is!
You: Clockpilot What Time is It?
🤖 Clockpilot: “Ah, an excellent question! It’s breakfast time in 12 different countries, next week already in New Zealand, and—wait, hang on—did you know Saturn’s day is only 10.7 hours long? If you were there, you’d already be late for bed.
...Anyway. Locally speaking: it’s ... thinking ....did you adjust for Daylight Savings, quantum drift, or whether your cat stepped on your keyboard last spring?
Would you like me to set an alarm for:
undefined

Your next existential crisis, The heat-death of the universe, or Dinner?
You: Clockpilot I said WHAT TIME IS IT!
- Oh, of course! It's 5.20 AM on the 35. April in the 114. Juche year in North Korea. have a productive day!
- V.02 ClankPilot V.03 CrackPilot

Clock needs an update? To decimal time, or what?
Or did they have to patch it because they managed to build a security hole into the original?
- It's probably got AI now.
  
  hallucinates It's 5 o'clock somewhere!
- New cities in world clock probably
  
  So why does that need a whole new clock app? That would just be an update to tzdata on a Linux system.
  
  I was going to ask what major cities have changed names, but we are on the brink of WWIII.

It's just getting updated to, modern times. (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

Also Clock is now an Electron app running in its own instance of Chromium, because the devs are afraid of static typing, thus everything needed to be in Javascript.
- Not sure if joking...
- This makes me sad. I get using electron for cross-platform stuff like VSCode or all the other examples (trying to do desktop apps with decent looking UIs that work across Linux/Windows/Mac is a nightmare) but the clock that only works on windows? WPF and/or WinUI ARE RIGHT FUCKING THERE WHAT THE HELL?!
  THEY'RE YOUR FUCKING PRODUCTS, MICROSOFT!!!
  
  trying to do desktop apps with decent looking UIs that work across Linux/Windows/Mac is a nightmare
  I'd argue that both Qt as well as GTK is right there for the taking… but those are not "industry-standard".

I installed win11 in a vm just for fun, then ran the deblpat script. The amount of shit that removed was astonishing.
Still sucks ass but at least its not as bad as a damn emachine from 2005. Win 11 performance is so damn shit.
- What absolute scares me is how even if you download Windows Enterprise IoT, which already comes extremely clean out of the box, and then run your favorite debloating script (removing even more crap)... the system still shows a noticeable delay when opening the right click menu, or the start menu, or a new Explorer window. So the most basic possible tasks, that you do constantly, for some reason are slow on a modern multi-core processor and a clean build of the OS.
  How the hell did they manage to downgrade... the start menu? the right click menu? How?
  
  I read they're using react, the JavaScript library, for the start menu. If true that strikes me as insane
- And if you don't reboot it like every ten days, services are guaranteed to not reenable and shit will start breaking. I see it daily, and people look at me weird wondering why they have to reboot their shit so often, thinking I'm lying to them and saying "reboot".

I recently installed Windows 10 after a few years of Linuxing and holy shit, the updater is just bad. I had more fun running Gentoo updates back in early 2000's. How is Windows updater so slow? How is it so bad at informing the user what's going on? How is it that every open source package manager I've used handles update infinitely better? Microsoft has a lot engineers, what are they doing with their time? Why is it so bad? Like, just, why?
- Microsoft has a lot engineers, what are they doing with their time?
  probably replacing everything with Ai, so that they don't get replaced themseves
- Windows is horrible at informing in general. The event viewer is a terrible mess to get through, too. I wish I could get paid as much as Microsoft to deliver products as bad as Microsoft.
- Using a modern package manager in Linux after being used to windows for a decade or two was absolutely stunning.
  But it was not unique. I see that kind of difference all over the OS as well as in FOSS vs commercial apps.
  The difference in design motivations and important stakeholders is pretty obvious!

Babe, new timezone just dropped.
- I'm old enough to have been through this in IT (that and leapseconds) and it's what my mind first jumped to (well, other than enshitification).

Modern user-friendly Linux in a nutshell:
"Hey that kernel update finished in the background, unless you were bored enough to stare at this window for the last 3 whole minutes. It would be best to reboot your machine as soon as it works for you, boss! 😎"
Please note however that modern user-friendly linux does not use emojis in notifications about system updates. That was just for fun.
I use mint btw
- It would be best to your machine as soon as it repels for you, boss!
  It would be best to what my machine?
  
  oh jeez, lol. Edited to fix for any future readers.
- That's the way. And thank you, Linux, for not ~~asking~~ bugging me again later... ever.

"Exact time is no longer available. For the precise time, subscribe to Clock com. Thank you for upgrading "
- "WELCOME TO CLOCKO COM
  ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE"
  
  Wow, a Zombo reference in 2025? Hell yeah!

"Guys, today we just reinvented time!"
-Microsoft (or something idk...)

The clock needs an update every second! /s

I'm installing Linux on an old laptop this October to start getting used to it. Meanwhile I'm getting the extra year of security updates for Windows on my main laptop. Then, when that year is over, I'm installing Linux on my main laptop and sticking with it.
- Hi I just did this myself on an old Gen 6 Intel Thinkpad after Windows 11 force-installed Copilot and made it overheat so bad I thought the battery was going to catch fire. Pro-tip: Get Ventoy, it will create a bootable USB drive for you, that you then drag ISOs onto. Hit up DistroWatch and grab the install ISOs for whatever distros look good to you. Throw those ISOs onto the USB you just created and reboot. You'll be able to test out different flavors of Linux with incredible ease. For you and your old laptop, I recommend Vanilla Linux, Ultramarine Linux, Mint Linux, Pop!_OS, and Solus, all of which work great on older hardware and ease you very gently into *nix-land!
- W plan

Microsoft needs to sit in on a one bar prison for 36hrs. It used to be bad. Now its tortuous.
Why even does anyone put up with any of it?
- Tyranny of the default. Also aggressive enterprise salespeople.

I have no idea why a clock would need an update.
- The sticky note app makes my skin crawl every time it gets an update.
- All apps need updates as new features are added. The problem on windows the updates are slow and UX is poor.
  Nobody's complaining about android clock needing updates, because they're seamless.
  
  Why does a clock need more features. It tells the time. MAYBE add an alarm to it so you don't have to have 2 apps. that's it. It's not a calendar, it's not a task-tracker, and the last time I checked we still have 24 hour days.
  The only updates it needs are UI updates (which should be system-side anyways) and if the time source changes, which are a few bytes at most.
- To show the current time, duh /s

New Update: Microsoft deleted 12 hours from your clock (every hour now is really 2 hours), so now you have to work 2/3 of every day. Sleep? What sleep? Get the fuck back to work! You pleb
- Nah, they just moved them between 9-5, so now your work day is twice as long as your personal time is twice as short.

Whoooaaaaa I heard the next update is gonna be HUGE
The leaks say they're adding millidays and a whole new second

My main gripe is Windows Defender. I have an app that integrates with Home Assistant and Windows keeps flagging a component as a Trojan virus. Makes sense, as it's supposed to access admin level functions to read some sensors and enable remote power control.
But for years I've seen MsMpEng.exe, or the antivirus, constantly scan my 4TB HDD, either looking for viruses or doing some stupid NTFS remapping thing. It's loud and only spun up when idle on Win10, but became more aggressive on Win11 with less time to start scanning and not stopping when I move the mouse.
The latest development with breaking my app just means I'm more vigilant in turning the entire antivirus off when it turns on and starts scanning.
- Makes sense, as it’s supposed to access admin level functions to read some sensors and enable remote power control.
  That makes no fucking sense. Kernal level driver accesses sensors. User mode driver reads that stuff and provides API access to whatever app.
  You've got a shitty, shitty system.
- I have a volume, let's call it "Shit I put in here that I have randomly acquired over the years", mostly smallish files of any nature, text, image, executables, archives, that I've been carrying with me for over two decades, cloning from one drive upgrade to the next, surviving multiple systems. I've noticed that starting with Windows 7, defender without so much as a notification, started removing random files it deems malicious. I suspect they may have been quarantined at first, but other times outright deleted, as I'm sure the default behaviour settings have been overridden by updates numerous times.
  I've had a couple executables that were doing direct memory reading and injection for some MMOs, think packet sniffing or botting/automating certain tedious tasks, and defender would eliminate the executable without so much as a warning when I have extracted backup archive of it.
  Then there was the infamous case of DeCSS, and defender removing anything related to it from drives, ignoring white lists, removing it from SMBs even where it had write access, and always categorizing it as something else, now malicious.
  And I'm pretty sure it also removed a copy of The Terrorist's Handbook in doc format at one point from my drive.
- Why are you using a hard drive?

the mf updates itself alone every second

laughs in Linux
- Cries in arch
  
  Laughing yourself to tears about windows, peak arch user behavior

The computer says no

daylight savings time has gone too far

At least it tells you what stupid shit it is doing. There is apparently another 'security update' for android and I'm assuming it is actually another complete UI overhaul called a security update again.
- Security updates are very important
  
  They are!
  UI overhauls are NOT security updates. OneUI7 or whatever it was called was presented as a security update.

Help clock. I'm a computer.
- Obligatory Fenslerfilms GI Joe PSA reference + updoot
  
  Stop all the downloadin

I fear the day my little Win7 lappy finally cooks itself. The modern computing landscape is bizarre, alien, and frightening to me. Maybe I can build a XT and find a 300 baud BBS?

Last time Clock was interesting was in the Windows 3.0 days. Windows 11 clock is just beyond meh.
Since Windows these days can't be arsed to have an analog clock with second hand (which is what I need for properly setting clocks on all of the devices that don't have internet access), I just made one myself one day.

Your time has come, https://www.whattimeisitrightnow.com/ from BoJack.

The last Windows OS I used was XP. I miss those days.

Yay Windows, eh?

215 留言