2d ago

Can't argue with that

42 comments

What are video games if not "chasing laser dots"?
- Or any type of dopamine skinner box, for that matter
  
  If my video games provided me sustenance at regular intervals, you can bet your fat ass that my fat ass would be a much fatter ass.

I'm pretty sure my cat would have voted for Trump. She's selfish, not too bright and scared to death of outsiders.
- My cat is similar, but she has absolutely loved all of our trans friends. Maybe she's more of a Chase Oliver voter i don't know anything about him

I dunno man, if I saw a fucking giant frantically coming near me with a sucking machine I can fit in and that does as much noise as a jet engine, I'd be giving it space too.
- Something something about electing a giant sucking machine.

Today I will go on the internet and state an obvious fact as smugly as possible. Nobody will mock me for spiking the smallest football ever seen.

are we sure cats didn’t vote in the last election?
- It's mostly dogs that vote republican. They want to sniff ass without consent or repercussions. Donald trump is their president.
  
  But most dogs love everyone, which is absolutely not a Republican trait. They are super manipulative, though, and would be prone to spreading misinformation if it benefits them.
  Although one of my wife's dogs doesn't like black people, but that's because she had a black neighbor (who was a cop, of course) that intentionally tried to scare the dog any chance he got when she was a puppy.

you know, i named my cats so i can yell "WHERE MY ______ AT" and they would come running down the hall for cuddles and I now know the name of, well not my next cat that's gonna be Churro but the one after that

For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.
Douglas Adams
Same goes for cats

While I accept that cats didn't elect Trump, I refuse to concede cats wouldn't have elected Trump if they could vote. The man is a physical manifestation of the act of pushing a glass of water off the edge of the table.