Caine's character sheet in Vampire: The Masquerade

This is technically fan-made, not official. But it's popular enough that I've definitely seen it passed around as if it were official before (including a week or so back on this Community).
- IIRC it was made official

I like this, but I prefer Cthulhu with its strong-but-somehow-possible statblock that also lists as as damage "1D4 investigators (player characters) per round".
- Absolutely. There's a bit more drama in a mechanic that is comically unfair but still somewhat cinematic. This kind of sheet makes for a good punchline, but you would have far more fun as an ST (or a player) encountering a being with a stat block that makes a more subtle mockery of the very mechanics of the game.
  Presence: Make a Wits + Ettiquette Dif 20 or Character must spend the failure difference in turns genuflecting and begging forgiviness is the Enochian tongue. Gain a dot of Linquistics (Enochian) if they do not have it
  Auspex + Celerity: Perceive the full bloodline of target character, up to 100 years per success back in time. Select any sire along the line and destroy it. Target character is no longer a Vampire. Age newly mortal target accordingly.
  Obtenebration: Eaten by your own shadow, no resistance.