Everybody gets one

Wizards @lemmy.world

Lazycog @sopuli.xyz

2d ago

choose wisely

Everybody gets one

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I'd like to be granted the ability to, at any time and without limitation on scope, number, or length, ask the universe questions (asked in the dialect of modern english in which I am fluent without requiring specific location, action or other ritual) and know the answers to those questions, but with the following stipulations:
that all answers are to be formatted and delivered in such a way that I understand them, without any changes or consequences that my current self (as of the writing of this statement, in my current condition) would consider a significant change to my physical and mental stability, and without requiring more than 3600 metric seconds (relative to my worldline) to understand in fullness, and being delivered in a timeframe of less than 3600 metric seconds (relative to my worldline).
that any redactions due to such stability concerns as in the prior stipulations are to be formatted and delivered as part of the reformatted answer
that any answer which is inherently unknowable returns an explanation for why it is unknowable, formatted as an answer pursuant to the prior stipulations
that no answers pursuant to the ability lead to circular logic
that this ability, its answers and enabling factors shall not require a sacrifice which my current self (as described above under my current circumstances when informed of the context of the sacrifice in plain English communication) would not think reasonable.
that if such a sacrifice is required, an explanation of the requisite sacrifice and the factors requiring it be returned to me, formatted as an answer pursuant to the prior stipulations
that I am to be able to choose to transfer any of these answers to another individual of any species, and that the individual be able to understand the answers, so long as the prior stipulations on sacrifice and physical and mental stability are satisfied both for myself and the secondary individual.
- Hmm, I was going to say you go insane but I see you've covered that. Okay, nice. Any question you ask will receive a safe response (answered if possible). However, you must ask the questions out loud and every answer given will be in a booming voice that nearly everyone hears around the world. The answers do not physically or mentally harm you, but other people may have psychotic breaks depending on the questions you ask:
  (To be clear, the wish doesn't give you the second ability to talk to animals or transmit thoughts. You'll have to ask about whether those things are possible.)
  
  Fair. I would argue that "many people going insane" would be covered under the sacrifice clause, but hey, this seems like the best of all possible outcomes from mucking about with reality.
  
  Definitely the most specified request in the thread. You earned it.
- For the lazy, here is the summarization of my local AI:
  You'd like to have a powerful ability: being able to ask the universe any question in modern English at any time, without limitations or rituals, and receive an answer that's:
  Understandable by your current self (no significant changes to physical or mental stability)
  Delivered within 3600 seconds (an hour) of asking
  Reformatted if necessary to protect your stability
  Includes explanations for unknowable questions
  Avoids circular logic
  Doesn't require an unreasonable sacrifice (if a sacrifice is needed, you'll be informed)
  Allows transfer of answers to another individual, as long as they can understand the answer and meet the previous conditions.
  In essence, you want to have direct access to all knowledge in the universe, without any negative consequences or sacrifices that might harm your well-being or stability.
  
  don't.
  if you didn't think it worth the time to write it, why should i take the time to read it? surely it will be worthless.
  i'm not here for the bots.
  
  Yes, unlimited access to universal truth, with error reporting, but I've read enough monkey's paws to know how this goes.
  
  The house always wins. Happy cake day btw

325 comments